The Four Towers
Excessive sillyness courtsey of raccoonish and myself that was misplaced for a few months, but has recently been discovered residing near a folder full of nazgul pictures:
The Four Towers
The Third being that of Manfred the slightly Ecru and his Cabin of DOOM, the Fourth being that of Jim, the slightly insane and his tower of playing cards.
Jim: Smoke rises from the chimney of Doom, The nine have left the shed
Gandalf: *gasp* And left the garden tools in a slight disarray?
Jim: What time do you think we have? The tortured screams of farmers can be heard miles away as the nine plow recklessly through their fields using only a spork
Gandalf: A spork you say?
Jim: Sure, it is the weapon of Kings and evil minions. They will find the ring, and tickle the one who carries it. Against the power of the cabin of doom there can be no victory
Gandalf: But what about the fellowship of the nine, also known as the fellowship of the garbage men?
Jim: The nine garbage men will be dealt with by our friend Charley, the Chain Smoker and his smoldering cigarette of flame
Gandalf: But what about the other rings, can they not hold sway to the one?
Jim: We will find the elven rings, and TP the houses of those who bear them. Muahaahahahahaaahahahaaahahahahahaaaaa…
Gandalf: But the tower of cards may hold the ace of spades! A deadly weapon to those unskilled in the arts of dealership. There is only one, Lord of the Ace of Spades, only one, and he does not share power. *jumps onto giant superfly*
Jim: So you have chosen Forced viewing of Flipper. On repeat.
Gandalf: you will see the error of your ways soon enough young padawan learner.....no wait… wrong story.
Jim: Wanna buy some death sticks?
Gandalf: *waves hand* you want to go home and rethink you life!
Jim: I want to go home and rethink my life ::walks off::
Gandalf: My job here is done.... *runs off into the matrix*
Elrond: So, MR. Frodo, I see ... you have some jewelry with you
Frodo: Jewelry? there ain’t no jewelry around here sir!
Elrond: It seems you live two lives, MR. Frodo, in one of them you are Frodo Baggins, you live at Bag-end and watch plants grow. In another, you are Mr. Underhill, and you are trying to get to Mordor. One of these lives has a future. One of them does not.
Frodo: How about, I give you a carrot, and you give me my .. gardener!
Elrond: Hobbits are a virus! I can't stand this place, this middle earth, whatever you call it... it's the smell! You hobbits and your furry feet... your stench saturates everything
Frodo: But I washed just the other day!
Elrond: Yes, but did you use the strawberry scented bubble bath, like you're supposed to? I think not, MR. Frodo
Frodo: But! ..but.... I’m sick of Sam trying to bathe me all the time! seven baths a day is enough!
Elrond: *cracks neck menacingly*
Sam: *runs in and whacks Mr. Elrond with frying pan* Ha! Take that!
Elrond: *dies*
Frodo: Huzzah! Thanks Sam! Now about that bubble bath?
Sam: Ok!
The Four Towers
The Third being that of Manfred the slightly Ecru and his Cabin of DOOM, the Fourth being that of Jim, the slightly insane and his tower of playing cards.
Jim: Smoke rises from the chimney of Doom, The nine have left the shed
Gandalf: *gasp* And left the garden tools in a slight disarray?
Jim: What time do you think we have? The tortured screams of farmers can be heard miles away as the nine plow recklessly through their fields using only a spork
Gandalf: A spork you say?
Jim: Sure, it is the weapon of Kings and evil minions. They will find the ring, and tickle the one who carries it. Against the power of the cabin of doom there can be no victory
Gandalf: But what about the fellowship of the nine, also known as the fellowship of the garbage men?
Jim: The nine garbage men will be dealt with by our friend Charley, the Chain Smoker and his smoldering cigarette of flame
Gandalf: But what about the other rings, can they not hold sway to the one?
Jim: We will find the elven rings, and TP the houses of those who bear them. Muahaahahahahaaahahahaaahahahahahaaaaa…
Gandalf: But the tower of cards may hold the ace of spades! A deadly weapon to those unskilled in the arts of dealership. There is only one, Lord of the Ace of Spades, only one, and he does not share power. *jumps onto giant superfly*
Jim: So you have chosen Forced viewing of Flipper. On repeat.
Gandalf: you will see the error of your ways soon enough young padawan learner.....no wait… wrong story.
Jim: Wanna buy some death sticks?
Gandalf: *waves hand* you want to go home and rethink you life!
Jim: I want to go home and rethink my life ::walks off::
Gandalf: My job here is done.... *runs off into the matrix*
Elrond: So, MR. Frodo, I see ... you have some jewelry with you
Frodo: Jewelry? there ain’t no jewelry around here sir!
Elrond: It seems you live two lives, MR. Frodo, in one of them you are Frodo Baggins, you live at Bag-end and watch plants grow. In another, you are Mr. Underhill, and you are trying to get to Mordor. One of these lives has a future. One of them does not.
Frodo: How about, I give you a carrot, and you give me my .. gardener!
Elrond: Hobbits are a virus! I can't stand this place, this middle earth, whatever you call it... it's the smell! You hobbits and your furry feet... your stench saturates everything
Frodo: But I washed just the other day!
Elrond: Yes, but did you use the strawberry scented bubble bath, like you're supposed to? I think not, MR. Frodo
Frodo: But! ..but.... I’m sick of Sam trying to bathe me all the time! seven baths a day is enough!
Elrond: *cracks neck menacingly*
Sam: *runs in and whacks Mr. Elrond with frying pan* Ha! Take that!
Elrond: *dies*
Frodo: Huzzah! Thanks Sam! Now about that bubble bath?
Sam: Ok!