Colorado Day 1
I don't know that it's actually Day 1. I have arrived, but it definitely hasn't set in yet. Probably because all my stuff is still in California. Once I go down to the DMV and get my Colorado license, maybe it will set in. I live here now. Not forever. For now. Not sure how long for now is, but it's more than a week.
I cried some today. Mostly describing how I deserve to be treated better to my parents. Like why do I choose men who treat me great at first and then stay with them after they treat me like crap? I have no sense of what a good relationship is. But I can pick amazing friends. What the hell is that about? Why don't I think I deserve to be with someone who treats me right? I need to find out. My mom is going to ask around about a counselor. I'm happy about that. I want to talk.
90 days to residency and then I can file for divorce. 90 days. 3 months. A lot can change in 3 months. I can do a lot of healing in that time. Perhaps a trip to New Zealand? Before I have to start looking for a job.
I've been so tired. I haven't sleep in what seems like years. Maybe tonight I will.
I'm grateful for my family today. They are amazing. Especially my mom.
I cried some today. Mostly describing how I deserve to be treated better to my parents. Like why do I choose men who treat me great at first and then stay with them after they treat me like crap? I have no sense of what a good relationship is. But I can pick amazing friends. What the hell is that about? Why don't I think I deserve to be with someone who treats me right? I need to find out. My mom is going to ask around about a counselor. I'm happy about that. I want to talk.
90 days to residency and then I can file for divorce. 90 days. 3 months. A lot can change in 3 months. I can do a lot of healing in that time. Perhaps a trip to New Zealand? Before I have to start looking for a job.
I've been so tired. I haven't sleep in what seems like years. Maybe tonight I will.
I'm grateful for my family today. They are amazing. Especially my mom.