Just some rambling, I haven't done that in a while
I might be a little bit optimistic, but I think things are starting to look up for me.
This semester doesn't have me wanting to run and hide under a big pile of blankets yelling for surrender until all of it is over. Good sign number one. I actually really enjoy my Tap Dancing course, and there is always the plus that I have the potential of losing a couple pounds from dancing an hour or so twice a week. Plus my dance teacher is really nice and makes sure we GET it before having us try something new. I'm still at the stage where I'm kinda thinking over the dance moves too much and is a little stiff... but I've only been trying for two weeks!! I'll get better soon.
As far as relationships go, I'm still having some troubles. I have a friend that really wanted to date me, and we even talked about for a little bit, but he ended up almost digging his claws into me he was clinging so badly. I had to let him down gently, and even now he's kinda pouting about it. I told him "I'm sorry, I just can't see you as a boyfriend" and I think that HE thinks that if he tries to back off [which isn't drawing blood anymore, but it IS really annoying] he'll have a chance again. I feel bad about it... but I just know us trying for a relationship will either end up with me losing it and being a bitch as I told him off or just have me trying to hide from him. Neither or these are good scenarios, especially since he IS my best guy friend down here.
I also realized I was waiting on my EX. God... it's been such a roller-coaster. We broke up... I cried, I tried to get over it. We started to act like we were a couple again, I had hope. He told me no, I cried. He told me he missed me, I had hope. Now I'm waiting for him to tell me if we can make it work again. His response to this is "If I tell you no, I hurt you now. If I say yes then I'll probably hurt you later." I just want a fraggin' answer. I'm thinking about telling him I don't even want to try again, 'cause I think I'm starting to get over him. While walking back to my dorm the other day I met a guy in the parking lot and actually had the thought "He's attractive, nice, and likes Invader Zim. I would like to get to know him better, even if it ends up only being friendship" and this is the FIRST guy since my ex I've thought that about. If I'm starting to look at someone else, then it might be my que to move on with or without his answer.
It's also my birthday today, which is kinda cool/bad. Although I am not "old" that also means I'm getting to the point where old starts coming into the picture. Not that I can really do much about that. I love that as children we couldn't wait to get older, and then when it actually starts happening we're all like "GAH! I miss being kid! I wasted my entire childhood!!!"
Anyway... thats about it for me.
This semester doesn't have me wanting to run and hide under a big pile of blankets yelling for surrender until all of it is over. Good sign number one. I actually really enjoy my Tap Dancing course, and there is always the plus that I have the potential of losing a couple pounds from dancing an hour or so twice a week. Plus my dance teacher is really nice and makes sure we GET it before having us try something new. I'm still at the stage where I'm kinda thinking over the dance moves too much and is a little stiff... but I've only been trying for two weeks!! I'll get better soon.
As far as relationships go, I'm still having some troubles. I have a friend that really wanted to date me, and we even talked about for a little bit, but he ended up almost digging his claws into me he was clinging so badly. I had to let him down gently, and even now he's kinda pouting about it. I told him "I'm sorry, I just can't see you as a boyfriend" and I think that HE thinks that if he tries to back off [which isn't drawing blood anymore, but it IS really annoying] he'll have a chance again. I feel bad about it... but I just know us trying for a relationship will either end up with me losing it and being a bitch as I told him off or just have me trying to hide from him. Neither or these are good scenarios, especially since he IS my best guy friend down here.
I also realized I was waiting on my EX. God... it's been such a roller-coaster. We broke up... I cried, I tried to get over it. We started to act like we were a couple again, I had hope. He told me no, I cried. He told me he missed me, I had hope. Now I'm waiting for him to tell me if we can make it work again. His response to this is "If I tell you no, I hurt you now. If I say yes then I'll probably hurt you later." I just want a fraggin' answer. I'm thinking about telling him I don't even want to try again, 'cause I think I'm starting to get over him. While walking back to my dorm the other day I met a guy in the parking lot and actually had the thought "He's attractive, nice, and likes Invader Zim. I would like to get to know him better, even if it ends up only being friendship" and this is the FIRST guy since my ex I've thought that about. If I'm starting to look at someone else, then it might be my que to move on with or without his answer.
It's also my birthday today, which is kinda cool/bad. Although I am not "old" that also means I'm getting to the point where old starts coming into the picture. Not that I can really do much about that. I love that as children we couldn't wait to get older, and then when it actually starts happening we're all like "GAH! I miss being kid! I wasted my entire childhood!!!"
Anyway... thats about it for me.