Mom's party and stuff
It's been a really long week and a half.
Less than two hours after my mom died, I received a phone call from an organ donation company. I didn't think that they would be able to use anything from mom, but they were able to take her eyes. I was able to do it over the phone, but it still took about an hour. I was exhausted and tried to keep as upbeat as possible with the guy on the phone, who was very nice and compassionate towards the circumstances. It's what mom would have wanted, so I felt good about it.
My aunt stayed at mom's until Friday. We did errands every day, all day. Mostly going though paper work and making arrangements, but we also got our nails done and went shopping. I have spent a lot of money this week on new clothes that I didn't need. It shouldn't have, but it made me feel a little better.
Mom had already made arrangements to be cremated and buried at Forest Lawn. She had it all pre-planned in the early eighties, when my father died. This made it fairly easy. We still needed to sign off on stuff and pay for some of it, but it only took about an hour. The worst part of the experience was hearing people crying in other parts of the mortuary, in other planning rooms. My aunt and I were in a good mood and didn't cry at all. We decided not to have a service at the mortuary and not to be present for the cremation or internment, which are taking place on Valentine's day. It just seemed morbid and unnecessary.
We decided instead to have a memorial service, that we called a party. The Glendale Police Department helped us make some of the arrangements. We had a luncheon at the Elks Lodge in Glendale. We completely underestimated the amount of people that would show up and the whole banquet room filled. We had close to two-hundred. One of the lieutenants played MC. They started the service with the police honor guard and a flag presentation. The chief of police spoke and the police chaplain said a prayer. It was nice and simple. The floor was opened up and several friends of mom's spoke about her. Mostly funny stories and memories. One friend ended up giving a long speech, including breaking down several times. The police dogs were there. I saw several people that I have not seen in a very long time, including my Godmother, Carlene and her family. I also met my mom's best friend growing up, Mary Lou Patten and her 90 year old father, who taught my mom to drive. We made picture boards, including some great pin-up style shots of my mom from the 50's. We played Elvis and swing music. Overall, it was a lot of fun. I laughed a lot and didn't cry at all. I think that it was exactly what my mom would have wanted.
I also realized that I have a lot of really good friends. Not that I didn't know this before, just that they jumped into action. Fanny came over the morning that my mom died and helped with the memorial program. She's a great listener. Luke gives the best hugs, totally enveloping and firm. Julie had called me every day. She called me from court the moment that she heard the news and wanted to drive over from Santa Monica to be with me. She also treated me to a spa day at Burke Williams. We had milk baths and full body massages. Burke Williams is an amazing spa, I can't wait to go back. This week I have also had my hair cut, hair high-lighted, eye brows arched and I had a facial at the Amadeus spa in Pasadena. I was really run down from the past few months, so this has helped. I also bought six personal training sessions at my gym. I had the fist yesterday and I am sore everywhere!
The next big project is my mom's house. I am going to completely remodel it and in a few months, it will hopefully be ready to move in. It's a big job, since the place is old and totally in my mom's style. I want to make it more modern. I am also going to get a new car. I don't want mom's and mine is getting old...time for a new one! It's all very exciting, but overwhelming.
I have been handling everything fairly well. I think I just cried so much when mom was in the hospital, that I am ready to be happy. I am a little down about Valentine's day. I have never had a bad Valentine's day, because my mom always made it special. My mom was huge for holidays. I think I am going to miss her the most around any holiday. Tomorrow I am going back to work and it really won't be a special day for anything. It's not really a big deal, but it makes me a little sad.
Less than two hours after my mom died, I received a phone call from an organ donation company. I didn't think that they would be able to use anything from mom, but they were able to take her eyes. I was able to do it over the phone, but it still took about an hour. I was exhausted and tried to keep as upbeat as possible with the guy on the phone, who was very nice and compassionate towards the circumstances. It's what mom would have wanted, so I felt good about it.
My aunt stayed at mom's until Friday. We did errands every day, all day. Mostly going though paper work and making arrangements, but we also got our nails done and went shopping. I have spent a lot of money this week on new clothes that I didn't need. It shouldn't have, but it made me feel a little better.
Mom had already made arrangements to be cremated and buried at Forest Lawn. She had it all pre-planned in the early eighties, when my father died. This made it fairly easy. We still needed to sign off on stuff and pay for some of it, but it only took about an hour. The worst part of the experience was hearing people crying in other parts of the mortuary, in other planning rooms. My aunt and I were in a good mood and didn't cry at all. We decided not to have a service at the mortuary and not to be present for the cremation or internment, which are taking place on Valentine's day. It just seemed morbid and unnecessary.
We decided instead to have a memorial service, that we called a party. The Glendale Police Department helped us make some of the arrangements. We had a luncheon at the Elks Lodge in Glendale. We completely underestimated the amount of people that would show up and the whole banquet room filled. We had close to two-hundred. One of the lieutenants played MC. They started the service with the police honor guard and a flag presentation. The chief of police spoke and the police chaplain said a prayer. It was nice and simple. The floor was opened up and several friends of mom's spoke about her. Mostly funny stories and memories. One friend ended up giving a long speech, including breaking down several times. The police dogs were there. I saw several people that I have not seen in a very long time, including my Godmother, Carlene and her family. I also met my mom's best friend growing up, Mary Lou Patten and her 90 year old father, who taught my mom to drive. We made picture boards, including some great pin-up style shots of my mom from the 50's. We played Elvis and swing music. Overall, it was a lot of fun. I laughed a lot and didn't cry at all. I think that it was exactly what my mom would have wanted.
I also realized that I have a lot of really good friends. Not that I didn't know this before, just that they jumped into action. Fanny came over the morning that my mom died and helped with the memorial program. She's a great listener. Luke gives the best hugs, totally enveloping and firm. Julie had called me every day. She called me from court the moment that she heard the news and wanted to drive over from Santa Monica to be with me. She also treated me to a spa day at Burke Williams. We had milk baths and full body massages. Burke Williams is an amazing spa, I can't wait to go back. This week I have also had my hair cut, hair high-lighted, eye brows arched and I had a facial at the Amadeus spa in Pasadena. I was really run down from the past few months, so this has helped. I also bought six personal training sessions at my gym. I had the fist yesterday and I am sore everywhere!
The next big project is my mom's house. I am going to completely remodel it and in a few months, it will hopefully be ready to move in. It's a big job, since the place is old and totally in my mom's style. I want to make it more modern. I am also going to get a new car. I don't want mom's and mine is getting old...time for a new one! It's all very exciting, but overwhelming.
I have been handling everything fairly well. I think I just cried so much when mom was in the hospital, that I am ready to be happy. I am a little down about Valentine's day. I have never had a bad Valentine's day, because my mom always made it special. My mom was huge for holidays. I think I am going to miss her the most around any holiday. Tomorrow I am going back to work and it really won't be a special day for anything. It's not really a big deal, but it makes me a little sad.