(no subject)
I thought that right now was as good of a time as any to do an update. I am currently at the hospital, in my mom's room. She went into the hospital eight days ago and has been declining pretty much every day. On Thursday, they amputated her right middle toe. This sounds more awful that it really is. I have seen it. It was completely black before they took it and it was causing her a lot of pain. It looks better gone.
Mom has had a ton of visitors every day. She even had the police K-9 unit stop by. They brought one of the german shepards and it really cheered her up. The dog climbed into bed with her and licked her hand. I think that it was comforting. The dog created a huge stir in the hospital and a lot of the nurses stopped in the room to pet him.
The nurses have been fantastic. My friend, Karin, from Junior high is a respiratory nurse. She has given my mom several treatments. It's nice to have a familiar face helping my mom. My mom's kind of out of it, so I don't think that she recognized Karin...but it's still nice.
One huge positive out of this is all of the time that I have been able to spend with my aunt. She kind of drives me nuts, but I love her. It's pretty much been the two of us in this together and we have grown a lot closer. We were close before, but it just feels like more now. I have heard a lot of great family stories and things I just didn't know before. It also makes me realize how small my family is, this is scary. I have been lonely a lot.
Mom has been going downhill all week, but today things took a big dive. This morning, she mostly slept and had few moments of clarity. We left her around five to get dinner and within an hour, her blood pressure dipped to below forty and she almost crashed. We came back and the nurses told us that we had better stick around, because it looks like she doesn't have too much time left. We thought hours, but it's almost five in the morning and she is still here. She is currently having a blood transfusion and it seems to help. Her breathing is very labored and she doesn't seem to be aware of anything around her. The worst part for me is when her eyes roll back into her head. Her eyes are pretty much always open, but she isn't focused. It's also bad when she starts gasping for breath, like a fish out of water. Her kidneys are failing, in addition to all of the other problems, so it's a matter of time.
I am actually dealing with this a little better than expected. I have hysterical crying spells, but I have mostly been calm, I think the hardest thing is I have power of attorney over my mom, so the doctors/nurses have been coming to me for big decisions. I had to sign a DNR form when she went into surgery. It's what my mom wants, but that doesn't mean that it makes it easier. At this point, I just want her to be comfortable, out of pain and all of this to end quickly. Mom also started to give us all her wishes for a memorial services and such. I am glad that she can tell us what she wants, but it doesn't make it any easier to hear.
One kind of funny thing that happened today...my mom had to have blood drawn to test it for the transfusion and the guy from the lab was flirting with my aunt. He was trying to be really funny and butter her up. Talk about bad timing! My aunt was not picking up on it, but the guy was pretty relentless until my aunt mentioned that she is married. I found the entire exchange to be amusing.
I guess that's about it. My aunt and I are sleeping at the hospital. I am really thankful that the hospital has wireless access and that Marc thought to bring the laptop to me. The nurses have also been bringing us coffee and tea. The head nurse has mostly been taking care of my mom personally and she has been extra nice to us. I feel like mom is in the best care possible,
Mom has had a ton of visitors every day. She even had the police K-9 unit stop by. They brought one of the german shepards and it really cheered her up. The dog climbed into bed with her and licked her hand. I think that it was comforting. The dog created a huge stir in the hospital and a lot of the nurses stopped in the room to pet him.
The nurses have been fantastic. My friend, Karin, from Junior high is a respiratory nurse. She has given my mom several treatments. It's nice to have a familiar face helping my mom. My mom's kind of out of it, so I don't think that she recognized Karin...but it's still nice.
One huge positive out of this is all of the time that I have been able to spend with my aunt. She kind of drives me nuts, but I love her. It's pretty much been the two of us in this together and we have grown a lot closer. We were close before, but it just feels like more now. I have heard a lot of great family stories and things I just didn't know before. It also makes me realize how small my family is, this is scary. I have been lonely a lot.
Mom has been going downhill all week, but today things took a big dive. This morning, she mostly slept and had few moments of clarity. We left her around five to get dinner and within an hour, her blood pressure dipped to below forty and she almost crashed. We came back and the nurses told us that we had better stick around, because it looks like she doesn't have too much time left. We thought hours, but it's almost five in the morning and she is still here. She is currently having a blood transfusion and it seems to help. Her breathing is very labored and she doesn't seem to be aware of anything around her. The worst part for me is when her eyes roll back into her head. Her eyes are pretty much always open, but she isn't focused. It's also bad when she starts gasping for breath, like a fish out of water. Her kidneys are failing, in addition to all of the other problems, so it's a matter of time.
I am actually dealing with this a little better than expected. I have hysterical crying spells, but I have mostly been calm, I think the hardest thing is I have power of attorney over my mom, so the doctors/nurses have been coming to me for big decisions. I had to sign a DNR form when she went into surgery. It's what my mom wants, but that doesn't mean that it makes it easier. At this point, I just want her to be comfortable, out of pain and all of this to end quickly. Mom also started to give us all her wishes for a memorial services and such. I am glad that she can tell us what she wants, but it doesn't make it any easier to hear.
One kind of funny thing that happened today...my mom had to have blood drawn to test it for the transfusion and the guy from the lab was flirting with my aunt. He was trying to be really funny and butter her up. Talk about bad timing! My aunt was not picking up on it, but the guy was pretty relentless until my aunt mentioned that she is married. I found the entire exchange to be amusing.
I guess that's about it. My aunt and I are sleeping at the hospital. I am really thankful that the hospital has wireless access and that Marc thought to bring the laptop to me. The nurses have also been bringing us coffee and tea. The head nurse has mostly been taking care of my mom personally and she has been extra nice to us. I feel like mom is in the best care possible,