long time no speak
Thanks to buildingblocks, I've been sucked back into Livejournal.
Instead of posting an update on the past eight months of my life (that's enough time to have a premature baby), I'm just going to say that I recently quit smoking, and as such I will be soon posting a poll on which new picture I should use as my avatar. The most insightful comments will win cookies or their pick from my vast collection of raunchy internet porn, depending on whether I can afford cookie ingredients or not.
I would like to take a moment to let everyone know how terrible my job is. It's terrible. Really. I have absolutely no work to do, but, of course, must look busy to avoid being saddled with ridiculously retarded manual labor-related projects. I've already resolved not to reach out and make friends with any of the soul-sucking office zombies I come in contact with, so any amusement I derive from the workplace must come solely from yours truly.
Today, I've come up with a few ways to occupy my vast quantities of free time.
1) Masturbate in one of the bathroom stalls.
-since I'm on the executive floor, this is always a rush.
2) Prepare funny/disturbing/horrific faces and stand right in front of the elevator doors before they open up onto the lobby.
-people love this one...I've promised myself that I won't stop until someone spills hot coffee on their expensive suit.
3) Sneak onto my supervisor's computer while she's at lunch and download porn onto it.
-okay, so maybe I won't do this...but then again, maybe I will.
4) Make a chain of paper clips that will reach to the sidewalk from my window on the 17th floor.
-escapism at its finest.
5) Shred the wrong documents.
-oops.
I've been seriously thinking about quitting, especially if I can find a better paying job somewhere in Los Angeles, but I've been feeling really guilty over the three year commitment I made at my final interview. Looking over my to-do list, however, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not something of a liability to the company...they may be better off without me. :(
I have lots of very talented friends on LJ, but I'd really like for mysneaker to meet and read buildingblocks. Yes, I am obsessed with getting all my brilliant writer-friends hooked up into some vast, national think tank. I am your best networking tool. Stay friends with me.
Instead of posting an update on the past eight months of my life (that's enough time to have a premature baby), I'm just going to say that I recently quit smoking, and as such I will be soon posting a poll on which new picture I should use as my avatar. The most insightful comments will win cookies or their pick from my vast collection of raunchy internet porn, depending on whether I can afford cookie ingredients or not.
I would like to take a moment to let everyone know how terrible my job is. It's terrible. Really. I have absolutely no work to do, but, of course, must look busy to avoid being saddled with ridiculously retarded manual labor-related projects. I've already resolved not to reach out and make friends with any of the soul-sucking office zombies I come in contact with, so any amusement I derive from the workplace must come solely from yours truly.
Today, I've come up with a few ways to occupy my vast quantities of free time.
1) Masturbate in one of the bathroom stalls.
-since I'm on the executive floor, this is always a rush.
2) Prepare funny/disturbing/horrific faces and stand right in front of the elevator doors before they open up onto the lobby.
-people love this one...I've promised myself that I won't stop until someone spills hot coffee on their expensive suit.
3) Sneak onto my supervisor's computer while she's at lunch and download porn onto it.
-okay, so maybe I won't do this...but then again, maybe I will.
4) Make a chain of paper clips that will reach to the sidewalk from my window on the 17th floor.
-escapism at its finest.
5) Shred the wrong documents.
-oops.
I've been seriously thinking about quitting, especially if I can find a better paying job somewhere in Los Angeles, but I've been feeling really guilty over the three year commitment I made at my final interview. Looking over my to-do list, however, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not something of a liability to the company...they may be better off without me. :(
I have lots of very talented friends on LJ, but I'd really like for mysneaker to meet and read buildingblocks. Yes, I am obsessed with getting all my brilliant writer-friends hooked up into some vast, national think tank. I am your best networking tool. Stay friends with me.