And now a different baby story...
E's post got me thinking about my story. It is a very different account and I recall the entire thing.
I remember us driving in there and me being totally unprepared, in hindsight. I was a bundle of nerves and I was freaking that soon I would be a "mother". I didn't know what that meant.
I got checked in popped into a shared room and waited. It was 7.30am. I got changed into "surgery fatigues" and this woman who I had never seen before came in and asked us if we would donate some cord blood for research. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about and she gave us some literature to read, a distraction I guess. We said yes, signed the papers and she went on her merry way.
They then came and got me and I was wheeled into the "epidural room". Imagine this if you will...a heavily pg woman sitting on the edge of a hospital bed with a guy inserting a hair thin needle into her back and saying "now don't flinch or move" yeah right! After the needle has been inserted and the "goodness" has started to work imagine the guy saying "Now swing your legs back on to the bed" Who was he kidding I couldn't even feel my bloody legs how was I supposed to swing em up? It took 3 people to get my legs up and place me in a relatively comfortable position.
As this was happening Michael was stripping off to his unmentionables and putting on matching "surgery fatigues" with a stunning red hair net ;o)
We met in the surgery and they started to explain what would be happening. I had been told previously that there would be 8 extra people in the room with us and they all had a job to do...that was fine but the room seemed very small for 8 people to be working in & lets not forget the "cord blood" lady who popped in towards the end and thanked us for making our donation. Anyway if I'd been told just how much I would feel I think I would have done better! I felt the whole damn thing...the incision, and sucking, the pulling, the pushing. As Alyssa had got herself stuck in my hip on her turning round trip, foreceps were required to dislodge her. And as she was so big my ribs had to lifted out of the way so they could get a clean shot at her. No pain...but felt it all.
Now while this was going on I remember telling Michael that he was never touching me again, it felt like the right thing to say. That was when the sheet fell down! The protective sheet that was seperating the business end from our end fell down and we both copped an eyeful of my insides!!! Oh dear, that didn't do me any good. No one should see the inside of themselves and their partner never should never ever see that much. I will not go into detail for the sake of good form but (for those with gentle stomaches skip to the next line)lets just say, much blubber folded back and much blood!
When they extraced her, they suctioned her out and put her on my chest. It was 8.50am...followed by "My God that's a big placenta!" said by the assisting OB. My OB "What do think, it's a big baby" Followed by what everyone was doing for their Christams Holidays...HELLO!!! Trying to have a baby here! Then the vacuuming started. They sucked out all the unnecessary stuff that was left over. Not a pleasent feeling and it sounded just like our vacuum at home!
Then I started crying out "Get her off me she's slipping" and then I passed out!
I woke in recovery, pain shooting through every part of me and thinking where the hell is my baby?
When I was fully awake and in about 57 different kinds of pain I was wheeled back to a different room and left on my own. Still no Michael nor baby (she didn't have a name at this time) I was panicking thinking every terrible thing that could possibly go wrong all common sense gone.
Then Michael and "Baby McGoldrick" arrived and the rest is history.
I spent 5 days in hospital including Christmas Eve and went home Christmas Day. My PND had fully settled in and I was a space cadet. I had lots of trouble feeding and while I was in hospital they made me sign a piece of paper saying that because my milk hadn't come in fully and she wasn't feeding properly that the hospital was not responsible for anything that happened to Alyssa being put onto formula. They may as well have made me sign a piece of paper saying "You are a bad mother and it's not our fault" well...that's how it felt! Oh they tried to get her to latch on...I was bleeding and in pain but they just kept putting her on. I had two lactation consultants come and "handle me" and many, many midwives...if one couldn't do it they would go and get another one and they would both stand there and pull at me.
There are many other things that happened, Alyssa was quite jaundice and a very young, very inexperienced nurse came in and told me that my baby was severley jaundice, I had no idea what she meant by this so I asked if any of the other babies had it.."oh not as bad as yours" THANKS!
I had 49 different midwives (Christmas holidays) I had no physio (Christmas holidays) and I had a new baby that I had no idea what to do with...all I knew was I liked her feet. Sounds weird but that was a PND thing!
Anyway...that's how it went for me. PND is unpleasent but I am not ashamed to admit I had/have it.
I actually have no recollection of Alyssa for the first 3 months. I remember all the expressing, thank God for Next Gen, and I remember little events (rolling over, lifting her head up) I wrote them all on the calendar but I don't remember her. It kills me to not, I feel like I missed out on the first 3 months but we did take heaps of photos so I can look on them and know she was ok. PND will do that to ya.
Well that's it...the end...well not the end the begining really ;o)
Feels good to finally get it out there. Thanks for listening.
I remember us driving in there and me being totally unprepared, in hindsight. I was a bundle of nerves and I was freaking that soon I would be a "mother". I didn't know what that meant.
I got checked in popped into a shared room and waited. It was 7.30am. I got changed into "surgery fatigues" and this woman who I had never seen before came in and asked us if we would donate some cord blood for research. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about and she gave us some literature to read, a distraction I guess. We said yes, signed the papers and she went on her merry way.
They then came and got me and I was wheeled into the "epidural room". Imagine this if you will...a heavily pg woman sitting on the edge of a hospital bed with a guy inserting a hair thin needle into her back and saying "now don't flinch or move" yeah right! After the needle has been inserted and the "goodness" has started to work imagine the guy saying "Now swing your legs back on to the bed" Who was he kidding I couldn't even feel my bloody legs how was I supposed to swing em up? It took 3 people to get my legs up and place me in a relatively comfortable position.
As this was happening Michael was stripping off to his unmentionables and putting on matching "surgery fatigues" with a stunning red hair net ;o)
We met in the surgery and they started to explain what would be happening. I had been told previously that there would be 8 extra people in the room with us and they all had a job to do...that was fine but the room seemed very small for 8 people to be working in & lets not forget the "cord blood" lady who popped in towards the end and thanked us for making our donation. Anyway if I'd been told just how much I would feel I think I would have done better! I felt the whole damn thing...the incision, and sucking, the pulling, the pushing. As Alyssa had got herself stuck in my hip on her turning round trip, foreceps were required to dislodge her. And as she was so big my ribs had to lifted out of the way so they could get a clean shot at her. No pain...but felt it all.
Now while this was going on I remember telling Michael that he was never touching me again, it felt like the right thing to say. That was when the sheet fell down! The protective sheet that was seperating the business end from our end fell down and we both copped an eyeful of my insides!!! Oh dear, that didn't do me any good. No one should see the inside of themselves and their partner never should never ever see that much. I will not go into detail for the sake of good form but (for those with gentle stomaches skip to the next line)lets just say, much blubber folded back and much blood!
When they extraced her, they suctioned her out and put her on my chest. It was 8.50am...followed by "My God that's a big placenta!" said by the assisting OB. My OB "What do think, it's a big baby" Followed by what everyone was doing for their Christams Holidays...HELLO!!! Trying to have a baby here! Then the vacuuming started. They sucked out all the unnecessary stuff that was left over. Not a pleasent feeling and it sounded just like our vacuum at home!
Then I started crying out "Get her off me she's slipping" and then I passed out!
I woke in recovery, pain shooting through every part of me and thinking where the hell is my baby?
When I was fully awake and in about 57 different kinds of pain I was wheeled back to a different room and left on my own. Still no Michael nor baby (she didn't have a name at this time) I was panicking thinking every terrible thing that could possibly go wrong all common sense gone.
Then Michael and "Baby McGoldrick" arrived and the rest is history.
I spent 5 days in hospital including Christmas Eve and went home Christmas Day. My PND had fully settled in and I was a space cadet. I had lots of trouble feeding and while I was in hospital they made me sign a piece of paper saying that because my milk hadn't come in fully and she wasn't feeding properly that the hospital was not responsible for anything that happened to Alyssa being put onto formula. They may as well have made me sign a piece of paper saying "You are a bad mother and it's not our fault" well...that's how it felt! Oh they tried to get her to latch on...I was bleeding and in pain but they just kept putting her on. I had two lactation consultants come and "handle me" and many, many midwives...if one couldn't do it they would go and get another one and they would both stand there and pull at me.
There are many other things that happened, Alyssa was quite jaundice and a very young, very inexperienced nurse came in and told me that my baby was severley jaundice, I had no idea what she meant by this so I asked if any of the other babies had it.."oh not as bad as yours" THANKS!
I had 49 different midwives (Christmas holidays) I had no physio (Christmas holidays) and I had a new baby that I had no idea what to do with...all I knew was I liked her feet. Sounds weird but that was a PND thing!
Anyway...that's how it went for me. PND is unpleasent but I am not ashamed to admit I had/have it.
I actually have no recollection of Alyssa for the first 3 months. I remember all the expressing, thank God for Next Gen, and I remember little events (rolling over, lifting her head up) I wrote them all on the calendar but I don't remember her. It kills me to not, I feel like I missed out on the first 3 months but we did take heaps of photos so I can look on them and know she was ok. PND will do that to ya.
Well that's it...the end...well not the end the begining really ;o)
Feels good to finally get it out there. Thanks for listening.