glad we had that pre-meeting
Since C. has now moved in with us and we are three in the house, we decided it would be a good idea to put regular household meetings onto the calendar, so we could discuss things that matter with respect to topics like finances, house cleaning, events we want to attend, etc., and we decided on Friday evenings as the default for that, accepting the fact that sometimes there would be something else on that evening and we would need to adjust.
However, on Wednesday evening, just after dinner (which was after accomplishing four batches of concrete for the earth cellar walls, yay!), we decided we were already inspired to look at finances, and we complied a spreadsheet of what categories lord_kjar have been spending our joint bank account money on so far this year, and what the average per month is for each category. Then we compared that with how much we have each been contributing to the joint account each month (back when we were both working full time we contributed the same amount, and a fair bit was left over each month to go into the "house savings account", but when I went to half time my contribution dropped, and the house savings account really slowed down on its growth rate). Then we decided that since he and I actually own the house, and C. not only does not, but couldn't buy into it if she wanted to, since in Sweden a house can't have more than two humans as an owner (though apparently groups can get around this by forming a corporation), we are going to change the approach--instead of putting money into house savings from the joint bills account if there is any left at the end of the month, we three will each contribute roughly the same % of our income, at a value set low enough that it should only be a little more than we need each month, and any month that his or my personal savings account is higher than an arbitrary amount we can contribute to the house savings account on our own (this is the account that will be used if there is a house emergency like "need to replace the heating system", and it is the account from which we occasionally trow extra money at the mortgage in a largish lump sum, since in Sweden one isn't permitted to just do a slightly higher payment than required each month).
That meeting took a few hours, but it was good to have, because we then pedaled into town on Thursday to have the bank do a new three-person joint account for buying groceries etc. The guy at the bank had problems understanding why we would want such a thing, when we can just swish cash between us. We explained that it makes accounting much simpler to do it this way, and didn't mention just how close the relationship between the three of us is (indeed, he looked like his brain would break if we had).
Normally we will be having our meetings on Friday evening, but since we are on vacation this week, and we thought the first meeting would take longer than usual, we opted to start in the early afternoon. Good thing we did. The meeting ran for nine hours, thirty minutes (including fika breaks). But now we are all on the same page as to:
*What the cleaning rotation will be (three main stations: A. bathrooms B. upstairs dusting/vacuuming C. downstairs dusting/vacuuming, with each of us to be responsible for one of them each week, and the next the following week), exactly what is expected to be done for each, and what daily cleaning tasks are expected. We are all fussy about cleanliness, but we each have different "this is really important" things, and we all agreed that it is best to make certain that all of them are taken care of.
*What our social calendar will look like this autumn. We are making an effort to make certain that we set aside some time each week for the three of us to do things together, and that there is time for each pair of us to do stuff just two at a time, and that each of us gets enough alone time each week, while still managing to get to the regular activities that we want to attend (choir, nyckleharpa, Frostheim, dance, etc.)
*What home improvement projects are urgent, which are moderately important, and which ones can take longer time.
Each of these took much longer to discus and find appropriate compromises for when needed than it does to type it up now, so I managed to get lots of progress on the sewing of my jester costume, and the day was well spent. But it is now well past bedtime, so I had best close this and do my yoga.
Oh--before I forget, I had an email from my step-sister who reports that mom is doing better and already getting mobility back in her arm etc., and in good spirits and joking, but will be spending some time staying at a hospital for further rehab etc. Thanks for the good wishes.
However, on Wednesday evening, just after dinner (which was after accomplishing four batches of concrete for the earth cellar walls, yay!), we decided we were already inspired to look at finances, and we complied a spreadsheet of what categories lord_kjar have been spending our joint bank account money on so far this year, and what the average per month is for each category. Then we compared that with how much we have each been contributing to the joint account each month (back when we were both working full time we contributed the same amount, and a fair bit was left over each month to go into the "house savings account", but when I went to half time my contribution dropped, and the house savings account really slowed down on its growth rate). Then we decided that since he and I actually own the house, and C. not only does not, but couldn't buy into it if she wanted to, since in Sweden a house can't have more than two humans as an owner (though apparently groups can get around this by forming a corporation), we are going to change the approach--instead of putting money into house savings from the joint bills account if there is any left at the end of the month, we three will each contribute roughly the same % of our income, at a value set low enough that it should only be a little more than we need each month, and any month that his or my personal savings account is higher than an arbitrary amount we can contribute to the house savings account on our own (this is the account that will be used if there is a house emergency like "need to replace the heating system", and it is the account from which we occasionally trow extra money at the mortgage in a largish lump sum, since in Sweden one isn't permitted to just do a slightly higher payment than required each month).
That meeting took a few hours, but it was good to have, because we then pedaled into town on Thursday to have the bank do a new three-person joint account for buying groceries etc. The guy at the bank had problems understanding why we would want such a thing, when we can just swish cash between us. We explained that it makes accounting much simpler to do it this way, and didn't mention just how close the relationship between the three of us is (indeed, he looked like his brain would break if we had).
Normally we will be having our meetings on Friday evening, but since we are on vacation this week, and we thought the first meeting would take longer than usual, we opted to start in the early afternoon. Good thing we did. The meeting ran for nine hours, thirty minutes (including fika breaks). But now we are all on the same page as to:
*What the cleaning rotation will be (three main stations: A. bathrooms B. upstairs dusting/vacuuming C. downstairs dusting/vacuuming, with each of us to be responsible for one of them each week, and the next the following week), exactly what is expected to be done for each, and what daily cleaning tasks are expected. We are all fussy about cleanliness, but we each have different "this is really important" things, and we all agreed that it is best to make certain that all of them are taken care of.
*What our social calendar will look like this autumn. We are making an effort to make certain that we set aside some time each week for the three of us to do things together, and that there is time for each pair of us to do stuff just two at a time, and that each of us gets enough alone time each week, while still managing to get to the regular activities that we want to attend (choir, nyckleharpa, Frostheim, dance, etc.)
*What home improvement projects are urgent, which are moderately important, and which ones can take longer time.
Each of these took much longer to discus and find appropriate compromises for when needed than it does to type it up now, so I managed to get lots of progress on the sewing of my jester costume, and the day was well spent. But it is now well past bedtime, so I had best close this and do my yoga.
Oh--before I forget, I had an email from my step-sister who reports that mom is doing better and already getting mobility back in her arm etc., and in good spirits and joking, but will be spending some time staying at a hospital for further rehab etc. Thanks for the good wishes.