Feb 10, 2007 17:11
So I'm sitting at work (Tarlton Law Library) and I'm just THINKING. what is wrong with me!? I feel so lost and overwhelmed right now. After this semester, I have 1 summer session and 1 semester left. I'm taking senior design this summer along with Gov't I, maybe (yea, I -still- haven't completed that requirement yet). Next spring, I have only 2 EE tech area classes left and I'll probably take the 3rd semester of Chinese, which will give me 11 hours to finish up my EE degree. That's the optimistic side of things too -- if I fail any classes this semester (which I may end up doing if things keep going on like this) then I'm going to have to take more classes during my last semester.
I have to keep a 3.5 GPA to keep my engineering scholarship, which I guess is just surplus money in addition to all the National Merit scholarship and financial aid I get, but it takes care of books and miscellaneous living expenses. The thing that blows me away is that I will have received more than $65,000 in free money by the end of my college career. This just goes to show you that doing well in HS actually does some good in terms of getting National Merit and university scholarships. Well, a lot of it also has to do with having 1 wage earner in the household. Either way, I feel so lucky that my parents don't have to worry about paying for me to attend college.
I suppose in a more selfish light, I don't feel indebted to them and I've come this far based on what -I've- done. Don't get me wrong - I am still very grateful to them. But I don't like feeling like I owe anyone anything.
My mom says it's a bad thing to be so independent and stubborn. I say I can't change the way I am.
emo