breaking down
ok so ive been pretty sick lately. doctors think it might be swine flu and people are pissing me off... ive been stuck in my room for about 5 days now so im kinda isolated and yet people are making jokes about me probably having it asking if ive grown and fukkin pig tail and shit just layghin about it when i am miserable.
my entire body has hurt, high fevers,nauseas,havent ate for days, light headed,dizzy, and im weak yet its still funny to laugh and joke about? so im getting soo freakin butthurt and pissy about it. when they got stupid lil colds i dot make fun of them i say i hope they feel bettter and etc. people need to learn to be considerate and give a damn when someone they supposedly care about is pretty sick.
me being isolated has made me pretty emotional lately but still. get a clue people! then theres this guy i met not too long ago who ive hun gwit a few times and it all went great. hes very sweet he even just drove over at 4am to give me a hug and even hun gout. the last day we hung on sunday we made out a lil and like now he doesnt text me. id wake up to a text from him everyday and hed text me all throughout each day as well. now well he texts but barely. he answers back if i write him but thats it. he use to continuously write me now yeah right so im bummed about that. i wasnt expectin to like be with him but i really enjoyed talkin and seeing him i dont want it to end. idk if it is. im afraid to say anythin to him cuz i dont want him to think im gettin all attached and crazy on him.i wouldnt even know how to go about asking himwhats up without coming off stupid.
then ive been bummed cuz i havent had too much fun before i was sick. i use to havea big social life now its barely anything and its driving me crazy. everyones busy or has kids so they cant do noting anymore. i do not wanna become a loner. i refuse to be one again, back when i was younger it wrked for me i didnt really wanna be around people even tho they wanted mt around. now its just all crooked and lonely. its killing me. everythings going down the hole and idk wat to do about it anymore. im fcked. i cant really cent to anyone because they either make me feel worse or they just tell me OH THAT SUCKS IM SORRY. so if rather just vent on writing it all out then actually telling anyone. lovely huh. even though no one reads this at least im gettig it out of my head and onto something else! i dont like being used and im tired of waiting. period. fuk it
my entire body has hurt, high fevers,nauseas,havent ate for days, light headed,dizzy, and im weak yet its still funny to laugh and joke about? so im getting soo freakin butthurt and pissy about it. when they got stupid lil colds i dot make fun of them i say i hope they feel bettter and etc. people need to learn to be considerate and give a damn when someone they supposedly care about is pretty sick.
me being isolated has made me pretty emotional lately but still. get a clue people! then theres this guy i met not too long ago who ive hun gwit a few times and it all went great. hes very sweet he even just drove over at 4am to give me a hug and even hun gout. the last day we hung on sunday we made out a lil and like now he doesnt text me. id wake up to a text from him everyday and hed text me all throughout each day as well. now well he texts but barely. he answers back if i write him but thats it. he use to continuously write me now yeah right so im bummed about that. i wasnt expectin to like be with him but i really enjoyed talkin and seeing him i dont want it to end. idk if it is. im afraid to say anythin to him cuz i dont want him to think im gettin all attached and crazy on him.i wouldnt even know how to go about asking himwhats up without coming off stupid.
then ive been bummed cuz i havent had too much fun before i was sick. i use to havea big social life now its barely anything and its driving me crazy. everyones busy or has kids so they cant do noting anymore. i do not wanna become a loner. i refuse to be one again, back when i was younger it wrked for me i didnt really wanna be around people even tho they wanted mt around. now its just all crooked and lonely. its killing me. everythings going down the hole and idk wat to do about it anymore. im fcked. i cant really cent to anyone because they either make me feel worse or they just tell me OH THAT SUCKS IM SORRY. so if rather just vent on writing it all out then actually telling anyone. lovely huh. even though no one reads this at least im gettig it out of my head and onto something else! i dont like being used and im tired of waiting. period. fuk it