(no subject)
i can't take it here...i just cant. and i keep reminding myself, "one year left, one year." but thats such a long time..more than 365 days until i'm out...365 days.
thats practically forever...i'd kill to be going to college this year, or to panama, or on a misson somewhere......i just cant live another year here. i'm going insane..i feel like i want to explode, i'm going to lose it. ever seen Me, Myself and Irene? he holds everything in and eventually goes skizo...that will be the story of my life. i cant hold back anymore..i'm sick of walking on my tip toes all the time, afraid to say what i think, afraid to THINK mean thoughts. i'm sick of lying about where i'm going, i'm sick of lame ass curfews. i'm sick of being treated like i was just released from juvinille hall. i'm sick of never being fucking good enough.
i need to get away from THEM. they wake me up bitching about something, all day they bitch about me..i'm lazy, i dont try hard enough, i need to get my act together...all fucking day. my free time is my only time where i dont feel like letting lose and blowing something up. too bad they're rapidly shrinking that too.
and in like 5 days, i wont even have that. they'll wake me up in the morning, i'll spend all day with them, and i'll go to bed at night....with them there all the time. GREAT. i have an idea, lets see how sane i am when i get back from up north.
i can't handle it...i'm ready to leave, i'm ready to live on my own, be responsible for myself. i'm ready to be treated like i'm 17...not 12. i'm ready to get away from them. somebody help me, take me away.
thats practically forever...i'd kill to be going to college this year, or to panama, or on a misson somewhere......i just cant live another year here. i'm going insane..i feel like i want to explode, i'm going to lose it. ever seen Me, Myself and Irene? he holds everything in and eventually goes skizo...that will be the story of my life. i cant hold back anymore..i'm sick of walking on my tip toes all the time, afraid to say what i think, afraid to THINK mean thoughts. i'm sick of lying about where i'm going, i'm sick of lame ass curfews. i'm sick of being treated like i was just released from juvinille hall. i'm sick of never being fucking good enough.
i need to get away from THEM. they wake me up bitching about something, all day they bitch about me..i'm lazy, i dont try hard enough, i need to get my act together...all fucking day. my free time is my only time where i dont feel like letting lose and blowing something up. too bad they're rapidly shrinking that too.
and in like 5 days, i wont even have that. they'll wake me up in the morning, i'll spend all day with them, and i'll go to bed at night....with them there all the time. GREAT. i have an idea, lets see how sane i am when i get back from up north.
i can't handle it...i'm ready to leave, i'm ready to live on my own, be responsible for myself. i'm ready to be treated like i'm 17...not 12. i'm ready to get away from them. somebody help me, take me away.