i'm not coming home

[karcar]

first layer of bricks, second layer, third, fourth. this is how defensive you have become. layer after layer, you start to feel more cautious, more weary. that feeling you have become accustomed to, learned to love, the unpleasant feeling of your skin on a hot summers day sanding your origami smile.

change:
first time, you feel out of place, uncoordinated and angry.
second time, you experience your "i've been here before" moment.
third time, monotone and acceptance.