That feeling

[karcar]

It's so frustrating. That feeling of not getting what you want. Doing something because someone else wants you to, not because you want to. You continue on doing it anyways because of the form of attachment that exists between you and that someone else. You don't want to let them down. God you would be the meanest person in the world if you were to let them down. And you're not even nice to begin with.

I'm starting to lose count of days.  It's like time doesn't want me to know how long I've been here. Trapped in this state.