....life sucks...
It seems like no matter what I do nothing is ever good enough... not for most of my family .. not for anyone... I can never do the right thing... and that Killls me.... maybe it is just a pressure i put on myself i dont know.. but it feels like i am 2 years old... and that i have to get permission to go take a shit!!! I am 18 years old.. and sure all the decisions i have made usually flop.. but at least i made them for myself.. and some else didnt make them for me!! it felt better to flop 10 times then it ever did when i did everything "they" wanted me too!! I just cant take it anymore...!!! I am a big girl....!! I shouldn't have to ask permission to go out...and i shouldnt have to be home at 8:30 when I do....!! It is just stupid.. I have to grow up eventually...!! How many college kids do you know... would not go to the beach because there DAD wouldnt let them beacue he was afraid that she couldnt drive home by herself... cause the Brand new car might break down.. i had to tell a good friend.. well i cant come to VA beach and see everyone.. cause my dad said i couldn't.... and then he is like well i will let you go to Gatlinburg.. but you want to know the catch... he HAS to go!! and that is just dad... then you have a grandmother... who decides one week you are too fat...you lose weight then you are too thin.. you need to eat more.. or your hair is too long... you need to cut it and then when you do its to short... i cant make anyone happy...and then you get to hear from you mom that your grandmother said you were a good kid until last feb.. then you just turned into the devil and has been ever since...!! i dont know i guess everyone has those moments.... but i am too my breaking point!!