Black belt....yay for me
So I passed my black belt test....I was on cloud nine for so long, and of course then I came home and the games began. My sister was freaking out the whole way home about NOTHING, and directing it all at me. Then we get home and she starts screaming at everyone just cuz I wanted to go online for a little while. Then of course my dad got all emotional cuz he can't help it, and my mom got mad at both of them. I'm so sick of this bullshit. My mom, dad, and Emily are always fighting with each other and it drives me nuts. You'd think when you could have lost everything (i.e. my dad in the accident) but DIDN'T, you'd be a little more inclined to not take things for granted and fight with each other. Yeah it's stressful....but you don't yell, you just walk away and discuss it later. I just don't get it and I don't want to hear it anymore. It really upsets me and I don't know what to do about it all. I was like ecstatic all night long...black belt was so important to me and I just had this great sense of pride that I passed that test so well. And now the whole moment is ruined. Which is mostly my fault, cuz if it wasn't for me, she wouldn't have this depression problem anyway.
So then I was talking to Heather and was acting freakish as usual...mainly cuz I had that BS on my mind. It really fucks with my head, I'm telling you! Anyway I like her a lot and I don't know what to do cuz I havent felt this way about anyone in a REALLY long time. I don't know how to do anything having to do with dating because I've never dated! Never! Me and Tif never dated, we were just together. But I have a hard time accepting the fact that anyone would like ME, cuz I'm totally crazy most of the time, and not that attractive! Oh well though....I'm not THAT bad. I'm a nice person anyway, if nothing else.
I just want to talk to someone who understands me...I just want a hug or something! :-( I'm such a freaking dork, I swear. Well I'm going to go to bed...though I most likely won't be able to get up in the morning cuz my muscles are so stiff. Oh well....at least then I can't fuck up yet another day.
So then I was talking to Heather and was acting freakish as usual...mainly cuz I had that BS on my mind. It really fucks with my head, I'm telling you! Anyway I like her a lot and I don't know what to do cuz I havent felt this way about anyone in a REALLY long time. I don't know how to do anything having to do with dating because I've never dated! Never! Me and Tif never dated, we were just together. But I have a hard time accepting the fact that anyone would like ME, cuz I'm totally crazy most of the time, and not that attractive! Oh well though....I'm not THAT bad. I'm a nice person anyway, if nothing else.
I just want to talk to someone who understands me...I just want a hug or something! :-( I'm such a freaking dork, I swear. Well I'm going to go to bed...though I most likely won't be able to get up in the morning cuz my muscles are so stiff. Oh well....at least then I can't fuck up yet another day.