Long Time No See
Long time no see, Depression! Welcome back to my life. Ugh. A lot of shit's been happening lately. I mean, like, hardcore. I've fallen for somebody I shouldn't, have a girl I know who kissed me and asked me out, but I haven't answered, and a boy who has convinced himself that I'm his willing girlfriend. My grandfather threatened me and started a fight and I haven't been back to my grandparents' home in two days. I just finished, less than five minutes ago, fighting with my mother "dearest" and her birthday is tomorrow. Fuck.
I'm apparently "grounded" but haven't had a phone to begin with, simply because my Razr vxx3 finally ceased working, and quite frankly, I hate going out places. Even if she takes my laptop, I have all-day computer access through my home desktop, however slow, and at school. At least five days out of seven this week. Pshh.
I don't want to have to talk to anybody, not even my friends, tomorrow. I'm beyond depressed. I dunno if I want to smile, to act like nothing's wrong - avoiding questions. Sometimes, I can vent to my friends, and to a few teachers, but I feel like it's worked itself up too high. I'm ready to close myself back in my little shell. I feel that terrible, and for several months now, I find myself crying over things that normally aren't "sad" or cry-worthy. Or I cry for no reason at all and feel hate towards the people I care about. I've so much fucking stress, and now all this emotional baggage that I can't shake off without hurting someone else.
Don't bother commenting on this one, guys. No peptalk here is going to make my situation any better. And no, I don't need medication; leave that to my mom. Feh. And I'm a child, apparently. Whatever.
- Al
I'm apparently "grounded" but haven't had a phone to begin with, simply because my Razr vxx3 finally ceased working, and quite frankly, I hate going out places. Even if she takes my laptop, I have all-day computer access through my home desktop, however slow, and at school. At least five days out of seven this week. Pshh.
I don't want to have to talk to anybody, not even my friends, tomorrow. I'm beyond depressed. I dunno if I want to smile, to act like nothing's wrong - avoiding questions. Sometimes, I can vent to my friends, and to a few teachers, but I feel like it's worked itself up too high. I'm ready to close myself back in my little shell. I feel that terrible, and for several months now, I find myself crying over things that normally aren't "sad" or cry-worthy. Or I cry for no reason at all and feel hate towards the people I care about. I've so much fucking stress, and now all this emotional baggage that I can't shake off without hurting someone else.
Don't bother commenting on this one, guys. No peptalk here is going to make my situation any better. And no, I don't need medication; leave that to my mom. Feh. And I'm a child, apparently. Whatever.
- Al