[Multi-chapter] How can I love (FINAL)
Title: How can I love
Author: tsuchi8562
Beta: geminib <-- Thank you so very much!
Pairing: SakurAiba (main), Aimiya, JunBa (friendship), Juntoshi
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance, Drama
*MASTERPOST*
Of course he was nervous; he really didn’t know how to act. Two weeks passed Since the scene on the airport and Sho’s behavior towards Masaki changed a lot. Whenever they were alone, the older man couldn’t help himself from small kisses and holding Aiba’s hand, acting like teenager that just fell in love. All the tallest Arashi member dreamed of was becoming a true but he was afraid a bit. He was scared that if he believes in all of this, it will pop like a bubble and he will suffer even more than before. And he was sure that he won’t survive that.
“Masaki, are you ready?” The beloved voice asked just an inch from his ear.
“W-what? Ah, yes, I am ready. Let’s go.”
“Did something happen?” Sakurai asked concerned seeing spacing out Masaki.
“No, I am fine.” The taller man sold his beloved man a smile. “I just have to go to the bathroom, wait for me in the car, okay?” He ran out and stopped only when he was in the cabin, locking the door. Aiba knew well what will happen now; they are supposed to watch a movie at rapper’s place and it was obvious that Sho will try to touch him again. Yes, he craved for this for so long, he dreamed about the older member’s caresses and kisses all over his body but he was perfectly aware that Sakurai didn’t have sex with a man before and Masaki didn’t know how the latter will react. Aiba didn’t know what he will do himself and the last thing he wanted to do was to scare Sho. What if he will be too aggressive? What if he will rush things? What if…?
“Aiba-chan, are you okay?” Jun’s voice came from behind the door and the taller man jumped a bit, startled. He unlocked the door and pushed it, looking at his friends face.
“I don’t know… I am… scared…”
“If you want to talk about it, I am all ears.”
“No, I have to go. Sho’s waiting for me. See you later!” And before Matsumoto could reply in any way Masaki ran to the parking and got inside the car, apologizing for the delay. He was tensed and he felt that Sakurai noticed it, but he couldn’t hide it, it was stronger. Every retreat when the older one tried to touch him was so obvious and soon all excuses were so lame that Sho had to be dumb not to notice that something was going on. They were sitting on the floor in Sho’s apartment and the movie was already forgotten. Aiba was staring at the rug, almost crying out of frustration and the newscaster was watching him closely.
“Masaki, if you don’t want it all you have to do is to say so… I won’t force you…”
“It’s not like that… It’s weird; it should be the other way around!”
“I don’t understand… Please, explain it to me…”
“I… It’s your first time with a man, right? I mean the REAL first time…” Aiba didn’t count Sho’s first failed attempt with some guy. Yes, in the past couple of weeks they explained and told everything to each other, so they could start their relationship without any dark secrets. “It is also our first time, I don’t want to spoil anything. I just don’t want…”
“Shhh…” Sakurai’s fingers touched the taller man’s lips. “I am a big boy; you don’t have to protect me because of some… irrational fears. Just relax and let me…” The rapper didn’t finish the sentence, because he was shushed by a kiss. He was right, there was no sense in Aiba’s behavior; he wanted the older man so badly, that refraining himself from touch was painful. Masaki pushed all concerns away, giving space to feelings. Sho pushed his soon-to-be lover on the floor, settling on top of him and spreading small kisses all over his face, finishing again on the full lips, exploring the mouth with his tongue. When quiet moan left Aiba’s throat the latter broke the kiss and looked at the man beneath him.
“Am I not too heavy?”
“No… Just perfect…” Masaki smiled and touched his beloved man’s cheek. Unconsciously he started to move his hips against Sakurai, brushing their crotches together what caused the older man’s moaning. This sweet sound made Aiba’s member harder and when he felt a growing bulge in the latter’s pants he knew that there is no turn back. Not that he wanted though.
“Masaki…” Their lips joined again in heated kiss; their tongues started a sweet battle and soon their upper clothes landed under the TV. The rapper’s breath fastened while he was looking at beloved face; the face he wanted to see every morning just after waking up. “Masaki, I love you…”
“I love you too… Let me… Take care of you…” Aiba whispered, not sure what exactly he was talking about. He rolled on the floor, so he was on top of Sho now and settled more comfortable. He leaned forward and licked the latter’s nipple, sucking it gently. Soon he felt Sakurai’s fingers tangling in his hair, massaging the scalp gently and after a short while the older man pulled Masaki for a kiss, full of passion.
“Masaki, I…. want you…” Those were only words that the newscaster could whisper. The taller man nodded, not able to say a thing and unzipped the latter’s pants, pulling them down a bit. The following events were like in slow motion; Aiba helped Sho take off his pants and leaned down to kiss and lick his semi-hard flesh through the material. Sakurai gasped and clenched his hands in fists, as if he were about to come only from that. Meanwhile Masaki exposed his lover’s erection and slowly, without any rush licked it from base to tip and back, giving the older man as much pleasure as he could. After a short while of that caress the taller man looked up and bit his lower lip.
“Sho-chan, you will have to…” Yet he wasn’t allowed to end the sentence, when the rapper kissed him and changed their position, being on top now. Somehow the newscaster took all the control; without breaking the kiss he got rid off the rest of Masaki’s clothes and just then moved away.
“Don’t worry…” Nothing else needed to be said. The older man reached for the bottle of lube and a condom he had in the drawer and came back to his band mate as quick as he could, pouring the cold liquid on his fingers. He was nervous and Aiba could see it clearly, but he was perfectly aware that if he escapes this time it will just make things between them worse. That didn’t stop the taller man from trying to calm his beloved one down by touching his torso softly and rubbing his nipples.
Masaki didn’t expect two lubed fingers invading him, so he groaned loudly more because of the surprise than from actual pain, but it seemed that Sho read it differently. He stopped every move and wanted to remove his hand, but Aiba’s tight grip around his wrist stopped him.
“No, please… It’s okay… Don’t stop…” The younger man whispered ensuring that he was perfectly fine. He just wanted to say that it’s not his first time, but he bit his tongue before any word could leave his throat. Sakurai nodded and continued, trying to stretch the walls as much as he could and at the same time being gentle and extremely focused. The rapper moved his fingers in and out, slowly and deeper with every step accidentally brushing the latter’s prostate. The taller one started to shiver and that made Sho certain that he can replace his fingers with something bigger. The sound of torn condom pack was coming from the distance, when Masaki was concentrated on the small sweat drops on the rapper’s forehead. He reached out his hand and wiped them away, smiling and spreading his legs more, inviting. Without any delays the older man put the condom on and lubed it, pushing in slowly.
“God, so tight…”Sakurai winced and closed his eyes, but then he opened them and looked at his lover’s face, making sure that he can go further. “I can’t…I just…”
“Take your time… Slowly…” Aiba whispered looking at Sho’s face all the time, without any wince and relaxed his muscles. That seemed to help, because soon the newscaster was fully in. The older man closed his eyes and leaned, pecking the latter’s lips.
“Does that mean you’re mine now, Masaki?” Sakurai gasped with effort straight to his band mate’s ear. The taller man just nodded, feeling the approaching tears, so he just closed his eyes tight and wrapped legs around Sho’s waist. He started to thrust tenderly, moaning loudly with each move and crossing the edge far too soon for their both likings. “I’m sorry…”
“For what?”
“I just couldn’t hold anymore…” The rapper gasped for an air and looked at his lover, who smiled cutely.
“It’s okay, don’t worry… I’ll handle myself…” Aiba grabbed his member and stroked, feeling that he is close to the edge himself. Soon Sakurai’s hand joined him, pumping faster until Masaki’s warm juices stained their palms and the taller man’s stomach.
“I love you Masaki…” The younger one didn’t see that happy smile on Sho’s face ever before so he couldn’t help but return the same. How long he dreamed about this? How long he waited for this?
“I love you too… I was stupid, I should say it earlier… It would save us many troubles…”
“Better later than never. Now we’re together and that’s what the most important. But you have to promise me one thing…”
“What?”
“You won’t wait four years before you tell me something as important as this, okay? No secrets!”
“No, no secrets… Not anymore…” Aiba smiled and yawned sleepily.
“Tired?”
“A bit, but we have to take a shower now… And then let’s go to bed…”
“Now, this is an idea I like…”
The white sign “THE END” flashed on the black screen of Sho’s TV by a split of a second.