[Multi-chapter] The Watches Series: Affinity (10/??)
Title: The Watches Series: Affinity
Authors: syunikiss1990
Beta: andreja1989 <-- as always arigatou ♥
Pairing: SakurAiba
Genre: Fantasy, Drama, Romance
Rating PG-13
Disclaimer: No, we don't own anything... We're just Border Watch's glaziers
*MASTERPOST*
“Sakurai, please come in. Take a seat, do you want some tea?” The head of the Border watch smiled widely at him. He nodded and bowed slightly when he was handed a steamy cup of green tea. For a short while neither of them said anything, they didn't always need words to have a conversation in this watch. Maybe it were the bright surroundings, maybe everyone was easy to read but it was known through the whole Border Watch that everyone could communicate with only a gaze or sometimes even the lack of one. It was the head of the Border Watch who finally broke the silence.
“How is everything going?”
“It's a bit tough lately but we are managing.” Although tough didn't fit their situation at all, he couldn't just tell his boss the past two weeks had been like hell. Even though he suspected the head of the Tokyo Border Watch knew what was going on between him and Aiba, it wasn't out in the open and he couldn't just say it. But that was the least of his worries. He was far more concerned about his lover who seemed to break down on an almost daily basis, trying to live with the fact that Sakurai denied him when he tried to get close. At the same time it was asking a lot of him not to just give what the younger man wanted, he had almost given in yesterday but he couldn't push the image of Aiba on the bathroom floor, winching in pain without him able to do anything about it out of his head. He couldn't cause him any more pain, even though he was not sure if what he was doing now was any better.
“Sakurai, your tea is getting cold.” The woman in front of him smiled warmly and sipped her own tea. Apologizing softly he drank his tea, trying to figure out how and where he should start.
“Excellency, I would like to ask you something.” The woman smiled and nodded, giving him the opportunity to ask his question.
“Is there any knowledge of another vessel somewhere in the world at this moment? In America or Europe?” The smile on the face of the head of the Border Watch faded a little.
“Not that I know of and I would know if there was anyone. I'm sorry Sakurai but I don't think I completely understand. Is something wrong with Aiba-sama?” Sakurai sighed and tried to think of a way to tell his boss what was going on. He couldn't possibly tell that Masaki didn't want the responsibility anymore because it was trying to ruin their relationship, the Treaty wasn't supposed to give in to human emotions as love.
“Ma... Aiba-sama is having a hard time right now. Keeping the Treaty inside is asking a lot of his body and I'm afraid it will only get harder on him if it continues like this. I think we might have misjudged his compatibilities for being a vessel.” The smile on the woman’s face had faded completely by now and had made place for a frown.
“You really think so? Are you sure it has nothing to do with anything else?” Sakurai stared at the cup in his hands, trying to find the appropriate reply.
“Look Sakurai, I'm not going to judge the two of you but please consider the consequences of the choices you have made or are trying to make right now.”
“I am aware of that but I can't watch the fact that being the Treaty is destroying Masaki without doing anything. How can it possibly be good or healthy, even for the Treaty, to be so unhappy? It is breaking out more and more from his mind lately, I can see it in his eyes. What if this all causes him to lose his ability to keep it trapped inside his mind? The Treaty would consume him.” The head of the Border Watch sighed deeply but nodded her head thoughtfully.
“I wish it was as easy as transfer it to another vessel right away but you know as well as me that it isn't possible. There isn't a known vessel in this world right now, even searching for one might take years. We don't know an easy way to find one. I'm sorry Sakurai but I can't help you. Aiba-sama has to find a way to live with it, he agreed to become the Treaty and now he has to bear with everything that it asks.” Sakurai had to try his hardest not to explode. No one has ever told him what those real consequences were in the first place! Of course this was because nobody knew about it but the fact that his boss stated that he had a choice to begin with made him angry. Aiba didn't have a choice, as soon as they had found out he was a perfect vessel he was put into training. Right now he started to regret he had recognized the signs of a vessel in the younger man, it felt like it was his fault to begin with. If he hadn't said anything to the top about Aiba when they were still investigating Ohno's case they wouldn't be in this situation right now.
“I understand. I guess I have no choice but to search for a vessel myself then.”
“Sakurai, you have your obligations you can’t leave like that. I'll send out someone to search but you have to make sure Aiba-sama does his job as the Treaty. Don't forget about that.” Sakurai snorted and stood up, bowing in front of his boss.
“Of course your Excellency. Please excuse me, I have work to do.” As he didn't feel like staying in the office one minute longer he decided to go back to Aiba right away. When he reached their apartment he found the younger man at the table in the kitchen, staring out of the window. It looked like he didn't notice him at first but smiled when Sho sat down in front of him.
“You're back already.”
“I couldn't concentrate, thinking of you sitting inside while the weather outside is so nice. Grab your coat, we are going for a walk.” Masaki smiled a bit confused but when he saw Sho was serious he got on his feet and grabbed his coat. Slowly they walked to the park nearby, taking all the time they wanted. Because it was in the middle of the day, it wasn’t busy since a lot of people were at their work or doing other things, making the park even more relaxing.
“I talked to the head of the Watch today.” Sho said when they sat down on a bench in front of the small water in the middle of the park. Masaki looked at him a bit confused, waiting for him to continue.
“I asked if there was any other vessel known of that could take over from you but she said there is no one known of at this moment.”
“Wait, what? What do you mean take over? Sho-chan I'm fine, I just need to grab myself together.”
“No Masaki, you are not fine. I can't just watch you like this, breaking down every time you think I'm not looking. It hurts me to see you like this.” Masaki sighed and shook his head furiously.
“Sho-chan, I just need to get used to it a bit more. I don't want to bother everyone, it is too much work to find a new vessel while everyone has their own job to do.”
“Masaki, you can't fool me on this one. You sometimes talk in your sleep, beg for someone to take it over from you, saying you don't want it anymore. Please let me try to help you in the only way I can think of.” He grabbed the younger man’s hand and looked into his eyes. Those beautiful brown eyes which were shining in a way he didn't like at this moment. Aiba swallowed hard and leaned forward to kiss him softly. Normally Sho wouldn't have allowed something like this in public but after his conversation with the head of the Border Watch today he didn't really care about being seen or not anymore. On top of that, if he pushed his lover away right now it looked like he could have a break down again and that was the last thing he wanted.
“I don’t know how long it will take but I’ll make sure it will be as fast as possible. I want to see you smile truthfully as soon as possible.” He gently stroked the taller man’s cheek and stole a quick kiss before getting up.
“Come on, we will go out for dinner. I know a nice place close by which you will love.” He pulled the taller man with him towards his destination. The time passed by quickly and before he knew it he was already alone again in their living room. Sighing he stretched his tired body, trying to get ready for another night on the couch. Even though Masaki had begged him several times to come back to their bed, promising he won't do anything, he had stayed at his decision to sleep on the couch. It wasn't like he didn't trust the younger man, he just didn't trust himself to stay in the big bed next to his lover. Even though he pushed him away every time he tried to seduce him, pretending he didn't want it, he did long for the more intimate touches of Masaki. As if the younger man was reading his mind he came out of the bedroom, crawling on his lap without saying anything.
“Sho-chan, can I stay here tonight?” Aiba asked sleepily. Sakurai softly stroked his back.
“The couch isn't big enough for the two of us.”
“Come back to our bed then. It's big enough and way more comfortable.”
“Masaki, you know I can’t. I don’t want to risk hurting you because of a tiny moment of losing control…” The younger man looked at him with big glimmering eyes.
“Please Sho-chan. It hurts me even more to stay away from you so much. I can’t stand the fact that I can’t touch you and that you push me away even though I see you want it just as much as me. And if you lose control it will only take two hours which I will bear without any trouble. It hurts all day long if you stay like this and push me away every time I even try to hug you. Please Sho-chan...” The last words were whispered against his lips. Sho sighed in the kiss. He made it sound so easy and he wished with his whole heart that he could but when Masaki's fingers bruised against his crotch which made him moan softly, the image of his lover’s pained expression flashed in front of his eyes. Gently he grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away a bit.
“Masaki I'm sorry... I want to, I really want but I can't... I just can't live with myself if I would have to see you like that again.” Masaki gave him a desperate pleading look but he saw Sho wouldn't give in. Tears welled up in his eyes and he tried to get away but Sho wrapped his arms tightly around him, making sure he couldn't get up. The younger man hid his face inside his neck, softly crying and whispering apologies and pleading begs.
“I'll find a new vessel. I'll make sure you will get free from this burden, I promise.” He softly kissed the top of the younger man’s head, stroking his back to try and comfort him. Something inside him seemed to snap that moment, making it unable to go on like this. It was hurting him so much that his lover was struggling with all of it lately and he knew that the fact that he was hurt by it was hurting the younger man even more. He had the same longing to be close to the other man and maybe it doesn't have to be like this. If he could trust the other man he could just believe in himself as well. Suddenly very determinate, he pulled Masaki up and avoided the confused eyes until they were both inside the bed underneath the warm sheets.
“If you can promise me you won't try anything to get into my pants I will try to let go more. I just want to be close to you, just as much as you want it and a simple hug or a single kiss won't hurt you right?” Masaki's face lit up with a bright smile and he pulled him in a breathtaking kiss. After only a short while he could feel the heat between them rise up and quickly he pulled away.
“Masaki...” He said with a dangerous tone in his voice. Immediately Masaki pouted.
“Sorry Sho-chan, I promise I'll behave. I'm just... Thank you.” Sho smiled and gave the younger man a soft kiss on his forehead.
“I can't stand watching your hurtful face anymore and realizing I'm causing it. And you know we don't need to keep everything up by making love, being like this is really nice too right?” To make his point clear he pulled the taller man even closer, making himself comfortable for a nice sleep. He could hear a blissful sigh as Masaki moved a bit as well, doing the same as him and for the first time in two weeks Sho finally fell asleep fast and soundlessly.
***
Their program rushed on as the weeks passed by. Sakurai opened the door of their hotel room in front of them and pulled a tired Aiba with him. The younger man had just finished his lecture in front of the Korean Watch students and just as the time in Shanghai it had drained him. The scary thought of what could have happened today if Aiba had been in the same state as a few weeks ago crossed his mind. Luckily they had been able to find their way to be together without getting too close to make it dangerous but close enough for both of them to love. Even though Aiba was stubborn about the situation and still tried to seduce Sakurai every once in a while, Sakurai was just as stubborn in refusing to give in to it. Just like right now. After Sakurai had sat down on the couch Aiba was sitting partly on his lap, partly on the ground. The younger man’s hands were wandering dangerously close to his crotch as he kept spreading soft kisses around his face and his neck but he kept pushing them away, making his lover pout a little.
“I can please you right? As long as I won't do or get anything myself I'll be fine right?” The cute and innocent eyes which looked at him made a sharp contrast to the thing Aiba was suggesting and made Sakurai laugh. The taller man took it as a yes and already started to move forward again but he stopped him by grabbing both his hands.
“Aiba-chan don't. I don't need it and it won't be fair to you. I'll wait, just as you, until our little problem is solved, okay?” Aiba looked at him a bit thoughtfully but seemed to accept it as he got up and sat down next to Sakurai. Smiling he wrapped his arms around the younger man’s waist and kissed his cheek.
“Are you sure? I don't mind…”
“Yes I'm sure. I’m fine with staying like this for the rest of the day but you should get some rest.” Aiba whined softly but got up anyway. Just when he was about to step into the big bed in the middle of the small hotel room he turned around to look at Sakurai.
“You know, you look like you could use some rest as well. Join me?” Sakurai smiled. The other man was right, he was tired from worrying about everything today and he could use some rest. Only a few minutes later he was beside his lover who made himself comfortable against his side and fell asleep quite fast. While he was watching his lovers peaceful sleeping face, he wondered if the younger man had seen the familiar face in today’s audience as well or if it had been just his imagination.