[Multi-chapter] Blood on blood (9/12)
Title: Blood on blood
Author: tsuchi8562
Beta: xxdaviexx ArigaPYON, Twiny~~!! This chapter is also your masterpiece!
Pairing: SakurAiba
Genre: AU, romance, angst
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Only plot is mine.
*MASTERPOST*
Masaki entered Sakurai’s apartment almost noiselessly. It was quite late, and he was sure that his lover had already fallen asleep. The bartender put his bag on the floor and went to the bathroom because all he wanted to do now was to wash away Matsumoto’s fingerprints from his skin. When he was naked, he carefully watched his body. It wasn’t looking good at all. Bruises on his chest, forearms, stomach, and inner thighs; bite marks here and there; hickeys molding his entire body; the blemishing fingerprints of Jun’s hands on his neck... All of these marks were impossible to hide, especially from a very perceptive Sho. Aiba was sure that, sooner or later, he would have to show his body to his lover. Once done, he wasn't going to be able to escape the avalanche of questions of the newscaster. If only he could find a way to leave for a few days... at least until the marks disappeared… But that was impossible. He had no place else to go.
The tall man went under the shower and, soon, warm water was swilling off all the sin hiding deep down inside every pore of his skin. This shower represented a kind of redemption that is not absolute but helps to exist. Tears started to flow but mixed themselves with water, diluting pain and dirt. The worst was that, no matter how many times he scrubbed his body, nothing could ever make him feel clean. He was bringing pain to the person he loved the most. It was impossible to deserve Sho. Not anymore...
Suddenly, he felt someone’s hands caressing his chest. It couldn't be anyone other than Sakurai. Masaki didn’t want to be touched by him... not now... not ever. He knew that their love was being destroyed bit by bit because of him. But he refused to stop sacrificing himself in order to protect the man he loved.
- I missed you… - The newscaster whispered, cuddling against the bartender by his back. Aiba gently pushed Sho’s hands away and, without turning back, he said:
- Not today... Could you leave me alone now?
- Something happened?
- No… I’m just tired; that’s all. - The younger man prayed silently. He was praying for the bruises to remain unnoticed. Unfortunately, his lover quickly turned him to face him and looked straight into his eyes. The newscaster tried to spot traces of tears in his face, but all he could see were traces of someone else’s palms on the bartender’s neck. His gaze immediately fell upon the rest of Aiba's body, and he could observe numerous smudges all over him. They were fresh, lightly blue, yet noticeable and they proved that something was definitely wrong. He believed that these marks explained Aiba's recent behavior. As predicted, there was no escaping the newscaster's poignant questions.
- Care to explain? - Sakurai hissed with anger. No, he wasn’t mad at Masaki. He was mad at the person who did this to him. That monster dared to lay a finger on his precious person, ventured to hurt him and break that smooth skin of his. As soon as he noticed the bruises on the bartender’s inner thighs, he knew that the situation was more serious than a simple beating, crueler.
- Masaki… Did someone… touch you? - Sho was forced to finish this question. He couldn't bring himself to ask if a stranger had taken his lover by force. He couldn't bring himself to ask if someone had violated Aiba's golden body and sensitive skin. Sho wished, with all his might, to be wrong. The newscaster wanted to believe that his strong feelings for Aiba were clouding his judgment. He needed Aiba to deny the terrible images that were being played over and over in his head. He wanted to believe that his imagination was simply running wild, running lose. If what he was thinking happened to be true, Sho couldn't imagine the depth of the scar this experience would leave in the purest heart he had ever come across.
His questions were left unanswered. The bartender tried to cover the bruises on his chest while piercing the floor with his eyes.
- I asked you a question… Did anything happen to you? Did anyone hurt you? Tell me. - The older man repeated, but there was still no answer. This was frustrating and painful, and the silence was merciless. Sakurai tried again.
- Masaki…
- Leave me alone! I told you to leave me alone! Why couldn't you just give me some time alone? Were you so insatiable that you needed to enter this bathroom at the middle of the night only to get some? Jeez! I never took you for that kind of guy. I guess that what they say is true: you never get to meet someone completely... no matter how many times you share the bed. You turned out to be like every other costumer in the end. - A striking sound was heard. Aiba's mouth was soon bleeding. The words he had just uttered seconds ago, however, hurt him more than Sho's slap. The mere thought of these words broke his heart. He would have never wanted to hurt Sho this way, but he needed him to back off. Aiba needed to make sure that the newscaster wouldn't have a proper chance to question him. As a newscaster, the bartender knew that it would only take Sho a couple of minutes to put the pieces of the puzzle together. This was his daily job after all, his specialty. He couldn't risk it. If Sho were to find out all about Jun, Aiba's sacrifice would have been in vain because his beloved boyfriend would irrationally start his car engine and follow his abuser until one of them ended up dead. Hurting Sho with these horrendous, heartless, and merciless words was the only option he had right now in order to keep him from harm. He just loved him too much. Sho's life was more important than his dignity, his body, his everything. Nothing else mattered to Aiba. Sho had become his only reason to exist, his own self. He was doing the right thing... he thought. Protecting Sakurai was the most important thing right now.
The caster realized what he had done and leaned against the wall, hiding his face in his hands. Was it really necessary to hurt each other in that way? Why couldn’t everything stay as it was before? Then, suddenly, a thought invaded Sho’s mind: “Masaki has been withdrawn when it comes to our bedroom life.” Every night, after taking a shower at night, Aiba would shiver every time Sho touched him. The newscaster had noticed that these chills did not result from desire. After the bartender’s recent reaction, Sho was starting to believe that they were a result of pain and fear. Could it possibly be that this wasn’t the first time that Aiba had been forced to have sex? No way! It couldn’t be…
- Masaki… Is this the first time? - He asked forgetting all the painful words and actions that had taken place a few minutes ago. - Tell me. Is someone hurting you?
The bartender looked straight into his lover’s eyes; it was all as he predicted. He came out from the shower and covered himself with a towel, remaining silent, but that didn’t stop Sho from asking more questions. He was not acting like a reporter. Sakurai was acting more like an investigator, and the taller man was fully aware that soon his beloved man would force him to answer. He couldn’t stand the pressure anymore, so he just pushed Sakurai and made him leave the bathroom, locked the door behind him, and started to get dressed. The silence was broken by the caster when he hit the doors, yelling Aiba’s name. He was desperately trying to find out something more about the entire situation. After a while, which seemed never ending, Masaki came out and headed to the kitchen. The interrogation was far from over of course. Sho gently hugged him and whispered:
- I just can’t stand the thought of someone hurting you… of someone touching you. I know that you don’t want it… But, please, tell me what’s going on…
- Nothing...
- But Masaki…
- I said nothing. It doesn’t concern you. It’s not your body…
- It IS my body... the body and soul that I love. If someone hurts them, I feel the same pain. I’m begging you…
Aiba stood still without making any movement, lost in thoughts. Or, more so, in pain-physical and mental… He knew what he needed to do… The moment had come. Perhaps this was going to be the end of everything, but he cared more about the “staying-alive-and-safe-but-in-pain” Sho than a Sho without a future, with a destroyed life, annihilated one.
- You have a strong sense of ownership, Sakurai-san. I told you not to bother. - Masaki said in a very cold way. He didn’t even address the newscaster by his first name. This could only mean one thing: the bartender wanted to hide behind his imaginary wall once again in order to protect Sho from the truth, the painful truth. Somebody was hurting Aiba, but the victim was not willing to say a word. It was frustrating and painful. It only showed lack of trust. Of course, he was aware that the silent man loved him and wanted to spare him the pain, but this was too much to bear. His most precious person was suffering and he couldn’t do anything about it. Sakurai started to think and tried to find the connection between the obvious awful rapes and the conversation he had with Ninomiya.
- Masaki, you know something. About the monster that want to destroy our love…
The bartender became pale. As he predicted, Sho had hit the bull’s eye. He hated himself for lacking the ability to hide his emotions. He was like an open book-everybody could read his feelings by merely looking at his face.
- I don’t know a thing. - He whispered, stubborn, moving away from Sakurai. He was already at his limit. One more word, one more touch, and he would say everything; he would confess his every sin.
- Masaki, don’t lie to me please… Let’s end this “hurting-each-other” marathon. I don’t want to cause you any more pain…
- I don’t know a thing. - Aiba repeated, trying to put an end to the conversation. Meanwhile, he found himself thinking about his earlier encounter with Matsumoto. “Why did Jun have to be so rough tonight? Why did he have to leave those marks on my skin?” A small wave of pain ran throughout his whole body and he felt nauseated, so he covered his mouth with his hand. He was sad and exhausted, so he wanted to go to bed. Sho, however, stopped him.
- Tell me! - Anger was visible in the newscaster’s eyes. He was willing to do anything in his power to make the bartender talk no matter what.
- I told you! I don’t know.
- Who did this to you? And why?
- Nobody… Leave me alone.
- You don’t trust me anymore?
Masaki had enough. This whole conversation was bringing him even more pain, almost impossible to endure even in the name of love.
- It’s not about trust…
- Masaki…
- Sakurai-san, I won’t tell you anything about it, got it? I trust you, and I love you. God knows how much! But there are just things that I have to keep to myself.
- Even if somebody is forcing you to… do things you don’t want to?
- Yes, even then.
- Listen; I don’t care about the devil who is disturbed by our relationship. The most important thing is your wellbeing. If you won’t tell me anything, I…
- You’ll what?
- I don’t think that I can stand the thought of having someone else touching you without your permission…
- So maybe we should break up…
- Yeah, maybe we should. - As soon as these words were said, Sho regretted it. He wanted to do something to erase them, but it was impossible.
Aiba quietly left the apartment, heading to the only place he knew, the only place where he felt safe: the Moratorium.
The single tear that ran down Sakurai’s cheek was left unspotted.
~*~
Ninomiya didn’t think that that… diva… had such a strong punch. He felt a familiar metallic taste in his mouth and smirked. Matsumoto was really mad at him for the little chat he had organized with the caster.
- Easy Kawaii-ko-chan! - Kazunari said laughing. Jun was really cute when he was furious.
- Are you stupid? Do you know what you did? If Ohno finds out, he will kill you for sure. And who knows what he’ll do to me!
- If we play this game well, he won’t be able to do anything.
- What game?
- Come on! I know that you’re not enjoying this whole situation. You’re already bored with that bartender, right? And that damn blackmailer is waiting God knows for what!
The actor had to agree. He had to admit that there was another body that made him shiver… the same body that was sitting right in front of him.
- Listen… If we lead Sakurai to Ohno, he will forget about that… Besides, the caster is not his real target.
- What? But he told us that he wants to destroy Sakurai!
- And you simply believed him? Ah, Kawaii-ko-chan… You’re so naïve…
- So why is he trying to destroy Sho’s career?
Ninomiya was supposed to answer when his phone rang. He looked at the screen and frowned. It was the Moratorium’s owner. This call could only mean one thing: the implementation of his plan was just behind the corner. The photographer picked up.
- The man who holds our life in his hands, welcome! - He just couldn’t stop laughing. - Yes, yes… I’m sorry… My who?! OK, we’ll come right away. - Nino hung up.
- Who was that?
- Ohno… He said that “my woman” and I had to meet him in the club.
- Your woman?!
- He meant you… - Another laughter attack overcame Kazunari, making him cry. This was his only way to conquer the fear he was feeling right now, the fear that the end of everything was near.