Cool vibes
Title: Cool vibes
Author: yuuki_saya
Beta & banner: tsuchi8562 (luv ya, as always ;)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: I have no idea... drama?
Summary: He's hurt. Badly. Why?
Disclaimer: I don't have boys nor lyrics. Just mixing them for own pleasure.
A/N: This fic was inspired by 'Cool vibes' by Vanilla Ninja - you can watch it here. This is made in different form, but probably I'll write more drabbles like this, because probably half of songs somehow bring Akame to me. So I sat and wrote this. I have no idea how it went. Text in italics is from 'Cool vibes' lyrics.
2004
Don't want you to lead me to the dark
Don't need you to tear my heart apart
Don't do that, the people say that you're my enemy
I know you can set me free
Jin... How it happened I fell in love with you? How it happened, I believed you? How happened, I let myself sink into this? How I could let my friend to become my lover?
I think, that love will let us spread our wings... So let’s keep that love growing.
2005
Don't want you to come so close to me
Don't need you to blow my fantasy
But I know that you are living far beyond those lies
I can see the danger rise in your eyes
Jin... You hate me, right? Just for this stupid debut, for drama and for spending most of my time with Yamapi? You didn’t need to use that harsh words, because I’m not a traitor, I’m not unfaithful, I’m not what you think I am. You prefer to act as hurt one, but in fact I’m the one, who’s left alone...
2006
Cool vibes, why don't you kill me?
Cool vibes, why don't you turn your eyes away?
Can't you see we're free to die?
Cool vibes, all we can do is fight and pray
Jin, we debuted, but still I have that bitter taste of being one step before you. I’m not OK with that, but who cares? Who cares, that I cry every night, that I have no strength to eat, to sleep, that I’m afraid of darkness? That I want to die so much, that I rarely step into the kitchen, because I could cut myself while using knife... Would you come to my grave if I died?
2007
Cool vibes, why don't you thrill me?
Cool vibes, why don't you kill me?
All that I can see are shadows of my destiny
You came back. But it didn’t solve any problem. We’re still keeping ourselves not to jump to each other’s throats... I have to hide my hurt heart... How can we work like this? How can we be friends? How can we find what we lost?
2008
Don't want you to make me feel afraid
Don't need you to take away the hate
But I know that you will break the seal of mistery
Leave it to my fantasy, what will it be?
You just went to your home after spending evening with me. We still rarely speak to each other, but you like sex with me and I don’t complain, happy to be with you few moments more, even if just as a simply relieve. Do we have any emotions or did we lost that BOND?
2009
Cool vibes, why don't you kill me?
Cool vibes, why don't you turn your eyes away?
Can't you see we're free to die?
Cool vibes, all we can do is fight and pray
Somehow we reached the point of being steady, but still it is empty, as much empty as filled with nothing but vacuum. It’s even worse than filled with hatred, at least it would be emotional. Jin, please, show me, that you care!
2010
Cool vibes, why don't you thrill me?
Cool vibes, why don't you kill me?
All that I can see are shadows of my destiny
You are leaving. For good this time. God, I wish I would die the day before manager told us. No more six of us. Does it mean, that you’re leaving me too? Please, don’t... I’ll be better, more caring, more loving, I’ll give you everything, just don’t leave me... This love is killing me...
***
Jin looked at Kame after reading paper he had found under the pile of magazines.
- Are you serious? All you wrote... How you felt, how you’ve been hurt?
- Jin...
- Answer me! I was certain, that you don’t give a shit about me! That you took only what you wanted! That you never loved me! That you acted this way...
Kame was silent, boring hole in the carpet with his eyes. After a minute his shoulders started shaking and room was filled with sobs.
- I had to... I couldn’t survive other way... Seeing disgust in your eyes, it was crushing me. But I had to live, even if so often I was about to give up! Do you know, how many times I could just end this? It’s so easy... But it would mean no more time with you. No more working with you. No more dreaming about you... False hope was the only thing that kept me alive!
Jin’s face paled.
- God, Kame! I would never hate you, or being disgusted with you... Just... Oh damn, Kame, I love you so much, and we lost so many years just because we couldn’t talk properly... Why do you think I decided step into this deal with sleeping with you? To be with you, to feel as it was before Nobuta... Kame, forgive me for hurting you...
Kame sat on the bed and smiled faintly.
- You’re forgiven. You said you love me. You can go and have whole America, but now I can wait for you decades. Now you gave me a real hope.
***
2011
Stay close to me, infinity
Enigma's what we share
But I don't care
You'll be there
Jin, my dear love. I have to thank you for that 3 days together. I haven’t had that much fun since our fooling around while shooting Gokusen. How’s your recording? Mine is tough, I have to train my voice more, but it never be like yours... So shame. But I think, that you’ll like my new high pitched moans... Oh, I’m starting to be naughty! Could you come and punish me? *winks* I love you!!!