[Multichapter] The beginning (FINAL)
Title: The beginning
Author: tsuchi8562
Beta: syunikiss1990 <-- Thank you so very much!
Banner: andreja1989 <-- Thank you a lot~!
Pairing: SakurAiba
Rating: NC-17 (this chapter)
Genre: AU, psychological, romance, drama
Disclaimer: All I own is plot.
*MASTERPOST*
How could he spoil everything again? The evening was perfect, he was sitting with Masaki in his small apartment, watching some movie and talking about random things. But what was the most important, they were close to each other, hugging and cuddling like normal, happy couple. Then the same weird and disturbing thoughts appeared, those which should never be important and should be ignored. What exactly Matsumoto told the taller man over a year ago what made him wait this long before he contacted with Sho? Of course their meeting was accidental and who knows how long would pass before Masaki decided to call Sakurai but still, it was too long. But on the other hand maybe this was the best for all of them? They had time to settle their own lives and get pass with their past and now can start everything again, from scratch. Well, maybe not exactly, since there was still love in their hearts, but most definitely they had to get to know each other once more. The ex-editor didn't contact with Jun at all, limiting his conversations with Ninomiya as well. This constant heavy and kind of dark aura which was around Matsumoto told him very clearly that there will be no friendship between them and all they can do is to tolerate each other when they must. Sho was very grateful for everything Kazunari did for him long time ago but he didn't feel comfortable near the couple. Probably antipathy to the journalist covered every other emotion, creating distance between all of them. Neither Ninomiya nor Matsumoto seemed to bother with not so often contacts from Sho's side and everyone seemed to be happier this way. However Sakurai still was very curious what Masaki heard from the journalist...
"Is it really that important?" The younger man asked, sighing when Sho asked the same question for nth time already. He made some kind of secret from that part of their past and this irritated the older man a bit. Aiba (this was the name Masaki chose for himself in the clinic) seemed to be bothered but this question and refused to reply each and every time he heard it.
"It's not important, I just wonder what exactly he told you... You know he doesn't like me, he may lied to you..."
"Oh come on... Seriously you want to go this way with it? I am here, right? I love you and I want to be with you. Isn't it really enough? Besides, if you want to know ask Jun-kun." The taller one seemed to lose his good mood. "I have to go, I promised my boss I will be at work earlier and help him with some paper work."
"Masaki, wait... I am sorry... I... Can't you stay?" Sakurai pleaded, feeling more and more guilty. After all three months has passed since they decided to start their relationship again and Sho should be able to leave everything behind them, focusing on the most important person in his life.
"Unfortunately I can't. But I will call you tomorrow, okay?" The younger man smiled and pecked Sho's lips quickly before disappearing behind the door, leaving the shorter one alone.
Great, you had to spoil everything again, you moron! Sakurai scolded himself and hit the wall with his fist. His boyfriend was right, if he wanted to know everything he should ask Matsumoto or at least Ninomiya about it. The reason why he didn't do it was obvious - he was afraid that what Jun had said was truth and Masaki is with the older man only because he is afraid that without him Sho will drown in despair again. Even though he didn't want to believe that, doubts crawled up his throat, making the breathing more painful. Sakurai needed a long, hot bath to relax and clear his head. When Sho sat in the bathtub and leaned back, all tension he felt in his muscles slowly disappeared, leaving place for calmness and sleepiness. Everything will be fine, he just needs to trust the latter a bit more and believe that Aiba is indeed fully grown up man. He said he loves him, why on earth he would be lying?
Adults lie easier than they breathe. A quiet voice sounded in the older man's head, planting seed of anxiety in his heart. Sho took a deep breath and without thinking what he is doing he slid down in the tub until his head was covered with water. He looked at his bathroom ceiling from under the water for good two minutes, until his lungs started to burn. When Sakurai sat back up all stupid doubts and thoughts disappeared but he was fully aware he will need to talk with Takarai-sensei about it. Or, as Masaki said, ask Matsumoto about it. The clock was showing few minutes past 10 pm when he sat on his bed and with guilt crawling back to his throat he dialed his only friend's number hoping he won't wake him up. Ohno didn't answer but as soon as Sho hung up, he wrote him a text message saying he will be right there. After fifteen minutes Satoshi was already sitting on the floor next to the small table in Sakurai's room.
"Okay, shoot." The actor (now more a singer) looked at his friend both with curiosity and worry written all over his face.
"You didn't have to come all the way here..." Sho smiled bitterly while handing the latter a glass of water.
"You were so chirpy and happy for at least a week already because Masaki was supposed to stay here tonight. It's far before midnight and you are freshly bathed and alone... Come on, I am not stupid, I know something has happened. So don't beat around the bush and tell me."
"I screwed it up..." Sakurai sighed and sat next to the older man. "Remember I told you that Masaki went to Matsumoto after he came out of the clinic to ask about me... I can't stop thinking about it. What that scribbler told Masaki..."
"Let me guess... And instead of asking Matsumoto himself, you bugged Masaki about it, right? Listen Sho, I love you, you are to me like a brother I never had but I need to tell you this. You are a moron."
"Tell me something I don't know..." Sakurai chuckled lowly and shook his head. Why the hell this is so damn important for him?!
"Sho-kun, if it's really that important for you to know, just go and ask. Everything will be clear. Then the question will be what will you do with this knowledge? How this will affect your feelings for Masaki? What if Jun is really a scumbag and said something really awful about you or made you look weak or incapable of living without your Masaki? Will you start questioning his love for you? Sho, you will do whatever you want to but I would just let it go and focus on something far more important than some journalist."
"Curiosity killed the cat, huh?"
"And this time it can end exactly like that, just instead of a cat it will be you." The actor was very serious and also looked tired. Sakurai frowned and sighed loudly. His friend is right, Masaki is right, he should just forget about it. It won't be that easy but he will try with all of his strength and eventually, with time the curiosity will pass. Sho didn't know how long he was lost in his thoughts but gentle glimmer caught his eyes. The younger man frowned and focused his gaze on the silver object which was shaking right in front of his face.
"You want to hypnotize me or what?"
"I would if that meant that you will forget about Matsumoto... But no, I am just offering you something... Catch!" Ohno threw small item right in Sakurai's hand.
"What is it?" The taller man looked closely to a pair of keys with cute penguin keychain attached to it.
"You know, people here call it keys. It opens doors for their apartments, houses and so on..." Satoshi giggled when his friend's eyebrows went up and Sho looked at him as if he was an idiot. "Those are to my house near the lake. Well, it's more like a hut... Anyway, it's far enough from civilization to get relaxed and forget about the everyday rush and close enough not to starve. I want you to take Masaki there for a while."
"Oh... Oooohh!!" Sakurai smiled widely and looked at his friend. "You didn't have to... I don't know if I can..."
"Stop pretending you hesitate... I can see your pervy smile on the thought what you two will be doing there... Just go there and don't come back at least for a week. Build your foundations."
"Build what?" Sho couldn't help but giggle, both from happiness and at the actor.
"Oh you know what I meant."
"I do... Thank you... You are saving me again, I don't know how can I repay you for everything you had done for me..."
"Just be happy. Listen, I have to go. It's late and I have to get up early tomorrow. We're shooting a PV and the director insists on me in cold, misty water wearing white shirt..."
"Don't catch a cold..." Sakurai smiled, hugged the latter and looked at the keys which were still in his hand after the older man had left. He will make sure their trip will be perfect.
***
"Where are we going?" Masaki looked through the window, hoping to see something familiar.
"I told you, this is a surprise. You will see soon enough."
"Come on, tell me! Or at least give me a hint!" The younger man pouted but his excitement was still clearly visible. Sho chuckled and shook his head, turning the radio's volume up as his favorite song was playing. Aiba, seeing he won't get any answer, leaned back in the seat and enjoyed their ride. Sakurai had planned everything, he even took care of Masaki's friend with Takarai's help. Those few days without outside world disturbing them will make their relationship solid.
Rest of the road passed with Aiba whining and asking questions and Sakurai not answering on them in any way. When they reached their destination the younger man gasped, opened his mouth wide and got out of the car, looking at the hut, then at the lake just to look at the small house again.
"You bought a house near the lake?!" The taller man smiled widely and jumped few times and clapped. Sho couldn't help but smile seeing that this part of the man he loved didn't change, he still was able to be very excited and happy like before. Guess that is was his way to remain a tiny bit the same, cherishing his inner child in such moments.
"I didn't buy it, it belongs to Satoshi-kun. He lent that for us for few days. I do hope he managed to clean it a bit at least... Don't want to spend first two days trying to find anything under the dust..." The older man smirked and took the bags from his car. Masaki opened the door and to their relief the hut was neat and well organized as for a house which is not used that often. Fireplace was empty, fresh food was in the fridge and clean towels hanging in the bathroom. It seemed that the singer really came here last night and prepared everything for them.
"It's nice of him! Remind me to thank Ohno-san when we'll back home." Aiba smiled widely and took a deep breath, looking through the window. "It's so beautiful here... So green, peaceful and calm... It's hard to believe such place exists..."
"Yes, very beautiful." Sho said without turning his eyes away from his boyfriend. Masaki blushed and hit the latter playfully, going outside to check on the surroundings. The older man smiled and looked around on the bedroom. The chamber was small and cozy, the one you can find in huts like this one, with big window and view on the lake. Sakurai was sure they will spend very good time together and their bond will become stronger than before. And they will make love, that for sure. Sho was practically as nervous as if it was his first time ever. Partly that was true, he didn’t allow anyone to touch him since Masaki left back then and now the younger man seemed to be whole new person. Will it be okay?
“Penny for your thoughts…” Aiba came back and hugged his boyfriend from behind. “You are standing here for fifteen minutes and didn’t even notice I came back… Something happened?”
“No, not at all. Just spaced out…” Sho smiled and kissed the latter’s hand gently. “You’re hungry?”
“No, I am not hungry. I could use a shower now though, my skin is sticky…” The taller one winced as if somebody put something stinky right in front of his nose. Sakurai chuckled and nodded, deciding to prepare everything for the night. He wanted everything to be perfect and just as the way it used to be. After all he is the best in planning things, right?
“I’ll be right back then…” The younger one pecked the latter’s cheek and disappeared in the bathroom.
“You will be sticky again soon anyway…” Sho mumbled to himself and felt his cheeks heat up a bit on the thought. The blood started to boil in his veins, seeming to concentrate in one point when he thought about his naked boyfriend being so close yet so far away. Sakurai knew he has to do something about this arousal which grew on every image of water drops slowly running down the slightly tanned skin so without wasting much time he took huge bedcover and placed it in front of the fireplace. The air became chilly and few lightning cut the sky as a promise that they will need to stay inside the hut. Masaki called him few times quietly but Sho didn’t want to reply, forcing him that way to come to the biggest room in the entire house.
“Here you are, I was calling you… What are you doing?” Aiba frowned but smiled while looking at the latter fighting with the fire.
“And what do you think I am doing? It will get cold soon so I thought…”
“We are alone in a place where nobody can interrupt us, I am almost naked and the only thing you could think of to warm me up is to set the fire?” Masaki tried to stay serious but his moving chin showed clearly he is on the edge of bursting with laugh. The older man just looked up, right in the face of the one he loved the most and just shrugged, chuckling lowly. Even though Sakurai knew well it all should look different, slower and more celebrated, he just ripped off the only piece of material which separated him from the latter’s manhood. Aiba was surprised a bit by this move, he even squealed quietly but he didn’t move away even an inch, waiting for the older man’s move. Sho kept looking up when his lips moved closer, gently blowing hot air right on the younger man’s sensitive body part. At this moment nothing else mattered, as if the lust they kept inside for so long decided to strike in that particular moment with all strength it had. The older man buried his face in the taller one’s abdomen, kissing every inch of skin he could reach, concentrating on one point and slowly taking Masaki’s member inside his mouth. Sakurai tried to make his moves stay slow and calm because the last thing he would want to do was to make everything end faster that it started. The taste of his lover on his tongue made his pants tighter; gentle and unhurried hip movements allowed Aiba’s member go deeper in Sho’s mouth. Masaki tensed and held his breath, shivering after each and every lick until he grabbed the latter’s hair and moved him away a bit.
“If you don’t stop I will… I don’t want to, not yet… Let me cool off…” His voice was not louder than a whisper. He kneeled and kissed Sakurai, pouring all the lust he had at the moment in that one kiss. “It’s not fair though, you are still dressed…”
“Can’t you do something about it then?” Sho was teasing, kissing Aiba’s face whenever he could reach while the latter was getting rid of unneeded clothes. For a short while nothing happened, they were gently exploring their skin only with finger tips checking if they didn’t forget the other man’s body.
“It’s been so long since I kissed you…” The taller man whispered and bit his lower lip.
“Nah, not so long… I don’t think even a minute passed…”
“Oh you know what I mean!” Masaki frowned for a second but when he looked at the latter’s face he smiled and moved even closer. “Make love to me Sho…” He simply said and as a reply he received a hungry kiss. The older man pushed Aiba on the soft blanket and straddled him. Without parting their lips Sakurai slowly rolled his hips, feeling his erection becoming harder with each move when their crotches brushed against each other. Even if he wanted it to last long, his body showed otherwise. He had to stop his movements each few minutes not to cross the edge just yet and that frustrated him a bit. The other man felt it and simply rolled them over, making Sho lay flat on his back.
“Don’t hold yourself… We will have our long-lasting sessions later for sure… Now I just want you… Don’t you want me?” Aiba said with a bit hoarse voice. Sakurai only nodded and that was enough to make the latter smile. “Then just do it…” The last sentence was whispered straight in Sho’s ear, making shivers run down his spine and concentrating in one certain point. Everything what happened next was like in a dream. The older man reaching for a lube bottle, its soft click, coldness of the gel on his fingers and tightness around his index finger when he finally slid it inside his lover. Masaki tensed a bit at the beginning but tried to relax and adjust to the feeling. Soon he started to move his hips up and down, relaxing his muscles and allowing Sakurai to add another digit. Neither of them said anything, enjoying their closeness. It was more than enough for them, the quiet sounds of their joined bodies moving in one rhythm, to spoil it with any word. When Sho could move his fingers easily, he slipped them out and wiped the leftovers of lube on his already leaking member. He poured a bit more of cold liquid hoping this will cool him off a bit before he will bury himself inside his lover. Apparently he waited too long because before he managed to make any move Masaki positioned himself and sat on Sakurai’s arching erection slowly, swallowing it inch by inch until he was fully in. Aiba didn’t move for a while, looking down at his beloved man and smiling. Few sweat drops were decorating his forehead, few wet wisps stuck to his face and this was the most beautiful view Sho had ever seen. After a while which seemed to last forever it was the older man who lost his patience and thrusted up few times, getting a tight grip on the other’s hips.
“Impatient…” The younger man giggled and then moaned loudly when Sakurai’s hand wrapped around his member.
“You were the one who told me not to hold it… And you are the one who is not moving…”
“You want me to move, huh?” Aiba smirked and leaned a bit forward, having his face just few inches from the latter’s. “Oh, I’ll move…” And he did. The taller man’s hips started slowly just to increase the pace with passing time. Their moans filled the air mixing with the sounds of two bodies clashing against each other. Soon enough Sho pushed his hips up, meeting Masaki halfway and trying to find the best angle to hit the right spot. When the younger man’s breath hitched he knew he found it and wrapped his hand around his lover’s leaking member, stroking it in the same rhythm. Sakurai felt the familiar warmth concentrating in his abdomen and he knew his climax is just around the corner. His movements intensified and when he felt warm semen spurting on his hand and chest he didn’t hold himself back and came inside his lover. Breathless Aiba slowly rolled off of his beloved man but stayed as close as possible. When his breath evened Sho poked his side and chuckled.
“Just don’t fall asleep here… I don’t want you to catch a cold…”
“I won’t… I was just thinking…”
“What about?”
“You, me… Us… How lucky I was when you found me at this clearing back then. How happy you made me… How much I love you… You know, stuff…”
“Yeah, stuff…” Sakurai laughed and pulled his lover closer, hugging him tight. “I love you Masaki.”
“Good… Because I love you too. And because of that you won’t get rid of me so easily you know?”
“Why on earth would I want to get rid of you?!” Sho frowned, worried but when he saw beaming smile on the latter’s face all he could do was mirror it. This was just the way it was supposed to be. Masaki in his arms, fire gently warming their bodies after making love… This was just perfect.
“Nee, Sho-chan…”
“Yes?”
“I don’t regret anything what happened to me in my past. All good and bad things that happened brought me right in this moment with you… Thank you for taking care of me.” Aiba became very serious and that squeezed Sakurai’s heart.
“I always thought it was you who takes care of me…”
“Let’s just agree that we both take good care of each other, okay?” The younger man chuckled and softly kissed the latter
Around an hour later, when they both were lying in the bed after quick shower and cleaning the mess in the bigger room, Sho was lost in thoughts. He heard Masaki talking to him but he couldn’t focus on anything, having only lyrics of one song in his mind. Song which he liked and probably now he will start to love it…
I cried myself to sleep
When I woke up the next morning
You were lying next to me
And I felt perfectly fulfilled
Even if everything before my eyes
Were to disappear
As long as I have this moment
I believe I can survive
Flying with arms spread
I strip myself of everything
There’s only my body and heart
Like on the day I was born
I mute the noise
That fills my ears
I want to hear
Only your voice
When did I forget
Those kinds of things ?
I should cry in a loud voice
Like a child
Take me back to the point where I began
‘Cause my voice goes on
Now and ever
Flying with arms spread
I strip myself of everything
There’s only my body and heart
Like on the day I was born
When did I forget
Those kinds of things ?
I should cry in a loud voice
Like a child