(no subject)
its 5 am.
i feel like im back up at state. and i cant sleep. its a good thing that i dont have to be up for anything.
i feel like shit.
im having issues at the moment. and i dont know how to get rid of them. i dont want to have to see any less of him, but at the same time i dont see how im gonna get unattatched from him, if we dont. its a sad thing whats happening. im completely miserable when im not with him, i feel like my heart breaks each time... i figured that maybe typing up what im feeling in here might help me a little, so far no good.
i dont know exactly what im feeling, but i know its not a good feeling...right now is what i mean, not all the time. on wednesday i went to work cause i was feeling down and as soon as i saw him i started bawling, and i dont know why. i just missed him sooo much. and tonight after he left i was soooo crushed. i tried talking to him but neither of us know what to do. neither of us want to spend less time w/ each other. but i need to feel ok when im not with him. im kinda starting to think that this is why ive been so sick lately... cause i always get sick when im not w/ him, except for that one time in the parking lot...
i dont know what to do. i love him sooo much. and i know that he loves me, but its hard. ive never felt like this....like i wanted to just keal over and die when he leaves and just not be awake when im not with him.
i just got physically sick like 10 min ago. i think to much...i know. i just want to be happy, and i am, but i hate being preoccupied with the thought of losing him, and he keeps telling me that its not going to happen. but ive almost lost him, twice...(nov and feb). and my heart was shattered to pieces each time and i was miserable.
::begins to sob...again::
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO...
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i feel so overwhelmed...what am i going to do tomorrow?? i wont get any homework done just cause i know that i wont. maybe my mom will take me shopping. ill prolly have to drive out to new hudson tho sometime tomorrow... i dont want to go out that way.
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im gonna try to go to sleep...i guess.
i feel like im back up at state. and i cant sleep. its a good thing that i dont have to be up for anything.
i feel like shit.
im having issues at the moment. and i dont know how to get rid of them. i dont want to have to see any less of him, but at the same time i dont see how im gonna get unattatched from him, if we dont. its a sad thing whats happening. im completely miserable when im not with him, i feel like my heart breaks each time... i figured that maybe typing up what im feeling in here might help me a little, so far no good.
i dont know exactly what im feeling, but i know its not a good feeling...right now is what i mean, not all the time. on wednesday i went to work cause i was feeling down and as soon as i saw him i started bawling, and i dont know why. i just missed him sooo much. and tonight after he left i was soooo crushed. i tried talking to him but neither of us know what to do. neither of us want to spend less time w/ each other. but i need to feel ok when im not with him. im kinda starting to think that this is why ive been so sick lately... cause i always get sick when im not w/ him, except for that one time in the parking lot...
i dont know what to do. i love him sooo much. and i know that he loves me, but its hard. ive never felt like this....like i wanted to just keal over and die when he leaves and just not be awake when im not with him.
i just got physically sick like 10 min ago. i think to much...i know. i just want to be happy, and i am, but i hate being preoccupied with the thought of losing him, and he keeps telling me that its not going to happen. but ive almost lost him, twice...(nov and feb). and my heart was shattered to pieces each time and i was miserable.
::begins to sob...again::
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO...
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
i feel so overwhelmed...what am i going to do tomorrow?? i wont get any homework done just cause i know that i wont. maybe my mom will take me shopping. ill prolly have to drive out to new hudson tho sometime tomorrow... i dont want to go out that way.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
im gonna try to go to sleep...i guess.