That sounds like a tough situation all around. It's hard to know when to say something or if you should.
I've told two close friends before that I was really worried about their drinking. I mean :( I loved them they were good friends and I felt like I couldn't say I cared about them and not say something!
But I did it privately, and totally non preachy just, I'm really concerned about your drinking. I love you and want you to be healthy and happy. are you okay?
It went okay enough. I don't drink because of the medications I take for my chronic illnesses but even before then I never drank frequently, it just wasn't my thing.
I mean we all have our vices and shit we shouldn't do - like I should go to bed at a decent hour. And my friends tell me they are worried about me about certain things too.
I dunno I'm just rambling now it's nearly 2am here XD
The whole thing is compounded by the fact that the backdrop is a bar. Yes, there's a small tea-drinking contingent like me and Sebastian who are only there to get our karaoke fix, but the main reason the joint is there is to sell mass quantities of alcohol, and to keep people drinking them often to the point of insensibility. That's the reality of a bar. That's the reality of drinking. So once Scotty (or his disease) made the decision to pick up the first drink, that really should have been the end of it.
The really sad part is that I felt I could HEAR the guilt and humiliation in Scotty's outburst. He HAS to know that he'd be better off without the booze, but the disease is telling him he can't survive without it. That's the one thing we know about alcoholism. It's baffling, powerful and cunning.
I don't know what to say here except to speak from my own experiences. 12 step meetings might work for some people but they're not for everybody (they wouldn't work for me at all because I'm an atheist and they can't shut up about god for five minutes) and you can't really make anyone go who doesn't want to. I try to avoid mean drunks as much as possible but that's just coming from all the fucking mean drunks I've had to deal with both in school and when I was a bartender. And it was worse in school. When you're the bartender you can make them GTFO.
I haven't been to a meeting in probably over 20 years, because I can't stand old-timers and I can't handle new-comers, but I still consider the 12 Steps pretty much the only way to go IF you are an alcoholic as opposed to a heavy drinker. AS you know, I'm an imperfect atheist and I wouldn't try to argue anybody into the program beyond the fact that I think it is the only thing that works, so everyone who goes in and wants to recover has to make their peace with the higher power of their own choosing
( ... )
AA seems to use "higher power" as a euphemism for religion, although that's only been my experience with it. of course I'm not an alcoholic although I will cop to having issues with food. I did try going to meetings of Overeaters Anonymous but had the same thing happen.
has to make their peace with the higher power of their own choosing And what if they don't choose any? I'm with chocolate_frapp on this. I went to the AA website, read the 12 steps, and it was the same fucked up self-loathing my church had been serving me all through my formative years. I'd rather die than go back there (as you may recall I have no addictions, but a history of depression and pathetically low self-esteem, so it's not like I'm an unbiased observer).
It's still a fine line I'm not sure that line exists. I've lost (at least) three colleagues to alcohol, one of them my most beloved and creative teacher. About each of them, as about a few of my current colleagues, I'd just say they're heavy drinkers. I think I'm deeply in denial.
And drinking has a social aspect, which seems stronger in the US than in Europe. With us going to a bar and drinking juice or a virgin longdrink (sodas always seem disgusting unnatural to me) is completely acceptable. Most of the social drinking I'm aware of is at dinner, and then you can just
( ... )
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I've told two close friends before that I was really worried about their drinking. I mean :( I loved them they were good friends and I felt like I couldn't say I cared about them and not say something!
But I did it privately, and totally non preachy just, I'm really concerned about your drinking. I love you and want you to be healthy and happy. are you okay?
It went okay enough. I don't drink because of the medications I take for my chronic illnesses but even before then I never drank frequently, it just wasn't my thing.
I mean we all have our vices and shit we shouldn't do - like I should go to bed at a decent hour. And my friends tell me they are worried about me about certain things too.
I dunno I'm just rambling now it's nearly 2am here XD
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The really sad part is that I felt I could HEAR the guilt and humiliation in Scotty's outburst. He HAS to know that he'd be better off without the booze, but the disease is telling him he can't survive without it. That's the one thing we know about alcoholism. It's baffling, powerful and cunning.
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And what if they don't choose any?
I'm with chocolate_frapp on this. I went to the AA website, read the 12 steps, and it was the same fucked up self-loathing my church had been serving me all through my formative years.
I'd rather die than go back there (as you may recall I have no addictions, but a history of depression and pathetically low self-esteem, so it's not like I'm an unbiased observer).
It's still a fine line
I'm not sure that line exists. I've lost (at least) three colleagues to alcohol, one of them my most beloved and creative teacher. About each of them, as about a few of my current colleagues, I'd just say they're heavy drinkers. I think I'm deeply in denial.
And drinking has a social aspect, which seems stronger in the US than in Europe. With us going to a bar and drinking juice or a virgin longdrink (sodas always seem disgusting unnatural to me) is completely acceptable. Most of the social drinking I'm aware of is at dinner, and then you can just ( ... )
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