Excerpt from email received from an editor:

[karaokegal]

I have had lot of submissions so far, but a considerable percentage of them are superb stories written in the first person - as requested - but are more ‘stories’ than ‘confessions

Comments

[coffeethyme4me]

Well, there's real and then there's literature. It sounds like they want the first one. Can't please everyone all of the time. ;-)

[coffeethyme4me]

Of course, they don't really want real either. Real would be:

"Fuck, that hurts."

"Sorry."

"You're putting it in wrong."

"I dropped the lube. There's cat hair on it now."

"I said that hurts. Quit it. Pull out. Plus, I think I have to go to the bathroom."

"Okay, I'll wash the cat hair off the lube."

"I love you."

"Yeah, me too."

[starhawk2005]

Hi, you don't know me, but I'm a friend of the OP and when I saw your reply:

YOU WIN THE INTERNETS!!!

I think I love you. Have my babies? I know we just met and all, but... ;)

[coffeethyme4me]

LOL! Well, I'm in an 11 year relationship. It's how I know what "real" sex scenes are like. ;-) I mean, there's the hot awesome, too, but sometimes the damn dildo comes out and stabs you in the tailbone instead and it's just OWW, dang it!

Thanks for the Internets, though! Now I can plan my global domination tactics.

[starhawk2005]

*facepalms*

On the other hand:
Isn't 'good smut' relative, though?

[karaokegal]

In this case, it's clear that they want something more in the old "Letters to Penthouse" genre. My last six years of writing what (IMAO) is pretty "literary" fanfic, might make me a bad fit for what this editor is looking for. It's just that I do think my best fanfic is both HOT and Literary.

[starhawk2005]

*pets you* Keep looking, hon. I'm sure eventually you'll find the right fit. No pun intended.

Besides, you definitely get points for trying, in my book. I haven't even bothered trying to write anything that isn't fanfic.

[cuddyclothes]

Maybe you just should have written, "I lay down and OUCH OH OMYGOD YES YES YES YES GIVE IT TO ME YES YES and then I felt ashamed of myself."

Too bad you have the misfortune of being a good writer!

[karaokegal]

Well, we're talking about all of 25 quid in this case, so it's not the end of the world. I'm going to try another one and make it more in the "Letters to Penthouse" genre and see what happens.

[abbysiuta]

That's a flattering and horrible comment all at once... :)

[karaokegal]

I'm still waiting to hear from the editor as to whether she means my work specifically. For what it's worth, I think the email was sent to all the writers who'd submitted for this bunch of e-book anthologies. She says she'll read mine this weekend and let me know if it needs tweaking.