"The Switch" - Part 17
Rachel ran up to the Fabray house and pounded wildly on the door. She didn’t stop until Quinn pulled it open with wide eyes, looking like she was in the middle of getting ready for their date and Rachel flung herself into the blonde’s arms, sobbing and kissing her desperately.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she blubbered between kisses, “how could I have been so stupid, how could I not know, I’m so sorry, I love you, please forgive me, please, you have to forgive me Quinn, I’ll die if you don’t, I love you so much!”
She buried her face in her crook of her neck, fisting her hands in the soft blonde hair that fell free for once, and Quinn squeezed her so tightly it hurt, but Rachel didn’t care, it just meant she was still holding her. It took full minutes of sobbing and rambling nearly incoherent pleas of forgiveness for her to realize that Quinn was crying too.
It all came together just then.
The notebook. Charlie in the auditorium. The tears she glimpsed as Quinn had turned away this afternoon…
“You knew!” she croaked in slow realization, pulling away just enough to see her face. “You sent me there on purpose. You knew she was going to be there.”
Quinn only nodded, tears leaking from the corner of her eye, but she brushed them away furiously.
“Why would you do that to me?”
“I did it for you.”
It could have been Charlie she was talking to by the way she looked. Quinn usually kept her hair up to distinguish the twins, not just for the Cheerios, but tonight it was down and she was wearing her regular clothes. But Rachel never once doubted it. There would never be any doubt again. Quinn was Quinn and Charlie was Charlie. There was no mistaking them. Not for her.
“All this time you knew about… And never said-”
“It’s not like you said anything to me!” she retorted harshly.
Rachel cried harder. “I was so afraid…”
“I told you I would do anything to make you happy, Rach. A-at first, I was going to fight Charlie for you. I was going to do anything it took to keep you because I couldn’t bear to lose you, but then I remembered what I promised. I-if being with my sister made you happier than being with me…then…then I needed to let that happen. I promised you, Rachel! I swore!”
“I kissed her, Quinn.”
“I know.”
“She wasn’t you. It had me so confused in the beginning. You guys are so much more alike than you are different, no matter how hard you try. When she tricked me that first time…I started doubting everything. I do love her, Quinn. She’s one of my closest friends, we’ve all grown up together, but when I kissed her, she wasn’t you. She wasn’t. And I wanted her to be.”
“Did-did you like kissing her?”
“Yes,” she answered hoarsely, but unflinchingly. “I did. And to be brutally honest, were we to be together, I would enjoy it.”
Quinn tried not to let it show how badly that hurt. “Oh…”
“But I’m not in love with Charlie,” she continued determinedly. “When I kissed her, yes, it was pleasurable, but it was nothing…absolutely nothing like it is kissing you. I want to kiss you for the rest of my life, Quinn Fabray. I never want anyone else. So…please…please…you have to forgive me for what I did. Forgive me for doubting us. Forgive me for not knowing what I should have known. I-I don’t know what I’ll do if….if I’ve ruined us. God, Quinn…”
“You really want me?” she wondered tearily.
“I’ve always wanted you. I was just too stupid to know that for awhile.”
“You’re many things, Rachel Berry. Obnoxious, beautiful, controlling, magnificent, talented, loving, stubborn, loud, unforgettable…but never stupid.”
“I feel like I’ve done the worst thing in the world.”
“Yeah, I’m kind of putting on a brave front. You…this has been…the worst…” she trailed off and more tears came.
Rachel gently brushed them away with her thumb.
“Can you ever forgive me?” she asked in a trembling voice.
“Yes.”
Her heart leapt frantically with joy.
“But not right away.”
“Okay.” She swallowed thickly with a nod. “I-I can accept that. I understand. W-what do we do then? What do I do to make it up to you?”
“Right now?” She brushed away some of the dark hair that had fallen across her face and looked into her eyes. “You can make love to me.”
“Really?” she whispered, afraid if she said it too loud then Quinn might change her mind.
“It’s going to be hard for me to deal with this for a while, but I don’t want to go through it without you.”
“I’m here. I’ll always be here. No matter what.”
“And don’t think I’m not going to hold this over your head for a long time coming. You will be making it up to me, Rachel Berry.”
“I expected nothing less.”
“Starting now.”
(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3) (PART 4) (PART 5) (PART 6) (PART 7) (PART 8) (PART 9) (PART 10) (PART 11) (PART 12) (PART 13) (PART 14) (PART 15) (PART 16)
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she blubbered between kisses, “how could I have been so stupid, how could I not know, I’m so sorry, I love you, please forgive me, please, you have to forgive me Quinn, I’ll die if you don’t, I love you so much!”
She buried her face in her crook of her neck, fisting her hands in the soft blonde hair that fell free for once, and Quinn squeezed her so tightly it hurt, but Rachel didn’t care, it just meant she was still holding her. It took full minutes of sobbing and rambling nearly incoherent pleas of forgiveness for her to realize that Quinn was crying too.
It all came together just then.
The notebook. Charlie in the auditorium. The tears she glimpsed as Quinn had turned away this afternoon…
“You knew!” she croaked in slow realization, pulling away just enough to see her face. “You sent me there on purpose. You knew she was going to be there.”
Quinn only nodded, tears leaking from the corner of her eye, but she brushed them away furiously.
“Why would you do that to me?”
“I did it for you.”
It could have been Charlie she was talking to by the way she looked. Quinn usually kept her hair up to distinguish the twins, not just for the Cheerios, but tonight it was down and she was wearing her regular clothes. But Rachel never once doubted it. There would never be any doubt again. Quinn was Quinn and Charlie was Charlie. There was no mistaking them. Not for her.
“All this time you knew about… And never said-”
“It’s not like you said anything to me!” she retorted harshly.
Rachel cried harder. “I was so afraid…”
“I told you I would do anything to make you happy, Rach. A-at first, I was going to fight Charlie for you. I was going to do anything it took to keep you because I couldn’t bear to lose you, but then I remembered what I promised. I-if being with my sister made you happier than being with me…then…then I needed to let that happen. I promised you, Rachel! I swore!”
“I kissed her, Quinn.”
“I know.”
“She wasn’t you. It had me so confused in the beginning. You guys are so much more alike than you are different, no matter how hard you try. When she tricked me that first time…I started doubting everything. I do love her, Quinn. She’s one of my closest friends, we’ve all grown up together, but when I kissed her, she wasn’t you. She wasn’t. And I wanted her to be.”
“Did-did you like kissing her?”
“Yes,” she answered hoarsely, but unflinchingly. “I did. And to be brutally honest, were we to be together, I would enjoy it.”
Quinn tried not to let it show how badly that hurt. “Oh…”
“But I’m not in love with Charlie,” she continued determinedly. “When I kissed her, yes, it was pleasurable, but it was nothing…absolutely nothing like it is kissing you. I want to kiss you for the rest of my life, Quinn Fabray. I never want anyone else. So…please…please…you have to forgive me for what I did. Forgive me for doubting us. Forgive me for not knowing what I should have known. I-I don’t know what I’ll do if….if I’ve ruined us. God, Quinn…”
“You really want me?” she wondered tearily.
“I’ve always wanted you. I was just too stupid to know that for awhile.”
“You’re many things, Rachel Berry. Obnoxious, beautiful, controlling, magnificent, talented, loving, stubborn, loud, unforgettable…but never stupid.”
“I feel like I’ve done the worst thing in the world.”
“Yeah, I’m kind of putting on a brave front. You…this has been…the worst…” she trailed off and more tears came.
Rachel gently brushed them away with her thumb.
“Can you ever forgive me?” she asked in a trembling voice.
“Yes.”
Her heart leapt frantically with joy.
“But not right away.”
“Okay.” She swallowed thickly with a nod. “I-I can accept that. I understand. W-what do we do then? What do I do to make it up to you?”
“Right now?” She brushed away some of the dark hair that had fallen across her face and looked into her eyes. “You can make love to me.”
“Really?” she whispered, afraid if she said it too loud then Quinn might change her mind.
“It’s going to be hard for me to deal with this for a while, but I don’t want to go through it without you.”
“I’m here. I’ll always be here. No matter what.”
“And don’t think I’m not going to hold this over your head for a long time coming. You will be making it up to me, Rachel Berry.”
“I expected nothing less.”
“Starting now.”
(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3) (PART 4) (PART 5) (PART 6) (PART 7) (PART 8) (PART 9) (PART 10) (PART 11) (PART 12) (PART 13) (PART 14) (PART 15) (PART 16)