(no subject)
"Right now she isn't the perfect girl for me, however I thought she had potential to become that perfect girl for me. I was wrong."
Its ironic to me that you can talk about how I'm not "perfect" for you. Look how you've been acting.
Its ironic that you say that, yet tell me you want to be with me.
Its ironic that you say one thing and do another, but criticize me for it.
Its ironic that you constantly contradict your own feelings, but criticize me for that, too.
"When I heard those things I realized that more or less I'm just a pawn being manipulated."
Its funny to me how you can write things like that and expect me not to get offended. What am I supposed to think? "Hmmm, Brad just said he's a pawn being manipulated...that's cool." Yeah right...cut me a break. Sometimes you expect to much, and at that rate, it could be a very long time before you find anyone that satisfies you. When you say something that offensive, it becomes irrelevant whether or not you felt it when you wrote and not two days later.
"Anyways, we're not together so what does it matter? If she wants to be around me, then great, and if she doesn't, then I'll just find other things to do. She has a car now, so I know I'll be seeing her less."
That's funny, too...cause since I got my car, I came over almost everyday. Once a week there may have been one day I didn't come over. Your assumptions always get me.
"We hardly talk anymore because she spends most of her time talking or hanging out with her friends, so there's not much left for me."
Again, everyday I'd come over your house. My friends would say everyday, "what are you doing today"...my answer, "going to Brad's"...soon it turned into, "What are you doing today, going to Brad's?" I'm sure my friends would back me up on that, too.
You should stop and look around sometime. Its not easy for me either. But hell, its your choice.
You don't act the same and I won't tolerate it anymore. Its not acceptable to me. I get no attention and no affection and I feed off those two things. I love being spoiled with affection. I admit it, I LOVE it. If you ar just going to continue acting the way you are then I don't want to be a part of your life. I'm not going to ditch hanging out with friends to go sit at your house while you don't even talk to me. Then, when I complain about, you go lay down and go to sleep. If that doesn't sound like bullshit to you, then don't even bother. That's about as blunt, honest, and straight forward as I can be: I don't accept your new attitude, get rid of it, or I won't even bother.
If you think I'm not "perfect" for you, then that's fine. I don't expect to be "perfect" for anyone. No one is perfect. I don't expect anyone to be perfect for me. Maybe that doesn't make sense to you, but it does to me. I'm making a sacrifice with you being on house arrest and anything you don't like about me you expect me to change or just forget about the whole damn thing. Just because I don't expect someone to be perfect, doesn't mean I'm willing to tolerate everything, and the way you've been acting is not good enough for me.
I've been trying. I try to please you in everyway that I know how to. Maybe I'm not very good at it, but I try. You told me I'm "trying in the wrong ways". How are you going to set those standards? Its obviously just not the way you want me to try, but I don't know any other way.
I don't understand how you ask me to change myself when you've been treating me like you don't even care about me. That isn't odd to you?
Stop and think about how you've been acting, and tell me if you'd want to be around someone who treated you that way. Yeah, I made mistakes because I really didn't know what to do, but obviously I'm not good enough for you to still want around. If that's how you feel, I'm okay with that. I can't expect people to be with me just because I want to be with them. I know that. You know I found out that the hard way.
You know you hurt me bady if i ripped up that book. I've never done something like that for a guy, and it hurt that i made that, and you still wanted to throw everything away with me. I thought that would show you how much you mean to me and how much i want to be with you.
I guess not.
I love you. Kara.
Its ironic to me that you can talk about how I'm not "perfect" for you. Look how you've been acting.
Its ironic that you say that, yet tell me you want to be with me.
Its ironic that you say one thing and do another, but criticize me for it.
Its ironic that you constantly contradict your own feelings, but criticize me for that, too.
"When I heard those things I realized that more or less I'm just a pawn being manipulated."
Its funny to me how you can write things like that and expect me not to get offended. What am I supposed to think? "Hmmm, Brad just said he's a pawn being manipulated...that's cool." Yeah right...cut me a break. Sometimes you expect to much, and at that rate, it could be a very long time before you find anyone that satisfies you. When you say something that offensive, it becomes irrelevant whether or not you felt it when you wrote and not two days later.
"Anyways, we're not together so what does it matter? If she wants to be around me, then great, and if she doesn't, then I'll just find other things to do. She has a car now, so I know I'll be seeing her less."
That's funny, too...cause since I got my car, I came over almost everyday. Once a week there may have been one day I didn't come over. Your assumptions always get me.
"We hardly talk anymore because she spends most of her time talking or hanging out with her friends, so there's not much left for me."
Again, everyday I'd come over your house. My friends would say everyday, "what are you doing today"...my answer, "going to Brad's"...soon it turned into, "What are you doing today, going to Brad's?" I'm sure my friends would back me up on that, too.
You should stop and look around sometime. Its not easy for me either. But hell, its your choice.
You don't act the same and I won't tolerate it anymore. Its not acceptable to me. I get no attention and no affection and I feed off those two things. I love being spoiled with affection. I admit it, I LOVE it. If you ar just going to continue acting the way you are then I don't want to be a part of your life. I'm not going to ditch hanging out with friends to go sit at your house while you don't even talk to me. Then, when I complain about, you go lay down and go to sleep. If that doesn't sound like bullshit to you, then don't even bother. That's about as blunt, honest, and straight forward as I can be: I don't accept your new attitude, get rid of it, or I won't even bother.
If you think I'm not "perfect" for you, then that's fine. I don't expect to be "perfect" for anyone. No one is perfect. I don't expect anyone to be perfect for me. Maybe that doesn't make sense to you, but it does to me. I'm making a sacrifice with you being on house arrest and anything you don't like about me you expect me to change or just forget about the whole damn thing. Just because I don't expect someone to be perfect, doesn't mean I'm willing to tolerate everything, and the way you've been acting is not good enough for me.
I've been trying. I try to please you in everyway that I know how to. Maybe I'm not very good at it, but I try. You told me I'm "trying in the wrong ways". How are you going to set those standards? Its obviously just not the way you want me to try, but I don't know any other way.
I don't understand how you ask me to change myself when you've been treating me like you don't even care about me. That isn't odd to you?
Stop and think about how you've been acting, and tell me if you'd want to be around someone who treated you that way. Yeah, I made mistakes because I really didn't know what to do, but obviously I'm not good enough for you to still want around. If that's how you feel, I'm okay with that. I can't expect people to be with me just because I want to be with them. I know that. You know I found out that the hard way.
You know you hurt me bady if i ripped up that book. I've never done something like that for a guy, and it hurt that i made that, and you still wanted to throw everything away with me. I thought that would show you how much you mean to me and how much i want to be with you.
I guess not.
I love you. Kara.