GRRR...
So, I just got off the phone with Nick. We had a good, sober conversation about everything and cleared a lot of stuff up. But I'm really really upset.
I've told Nick everything. I have told him that I don't want a boyfriend. I've told him I don't know what I want. I've told him that I like him. I've told him I'm confused. I've told him that I don't expect him to wait around on me and that I won't be upset if he doesn't want to hang out. I've told him that I want to hang out with my friends right now and I don't want to be stuck up a guy's ass all of the time.
So please tell me why everyone thinks I'm such a fucking bitch? Nick and I would be just fine without all the drama and things would be normal and casual like relationships are at the beginning. Casual dating is not an unusual thing in college...so tell me why everyone is freaking out about it! All this drama and everything just drains me and the thing is, it is completely UNNECCESSARY!
Apparently everyone is upset with me and frusterated with me over this whole Nick situation. Apparently everyone thinks that I'm a bitch to him. Apparently EVERYONE has an opinion on stuff that ISN'T THEIR BUSINESS!!!
I KNOW that Nick is great. I know he is sweet and adorable and that he cares for me very much. These are not things that I take lightly or just push aside. Yes, I'm fickle. But only because I am being cautious about jumping into something because I don't want either of us to get hurt! I have been nice, and genuine towards him. I have told him everything upfront in a caring manner. I have been honest. So again...why am I the bitch?
Nick told me that so many people have come up to him to ask him "what my deal is" or "why does he waste his time on me". It hurts me TO THE CORE that other people, who are supposedly my friends, would ever say these things about something that is my business. Why is that concept so far out of reach for everyone? Are we not in college? Is this not a time in people's lives when they expirament and play and have fun? Is it not a time when people date casually to see what they really want? Is this not a time filled with alcohol and permiscuous sex!? I'm not having permiscuous sex. I'm not cheating on anyone. I'm not playing anyone. I haven't made false promises to anyone. I haven't pretended to be something I'm not. I haven't lied or cheated or killed anyone! So WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG!?
I don't understand why everyone else has created all of this drama in my life. I just want to have fun and be with friends and figure out what I want. I'm hurt over someone else and I'm still protecting myself. Give me some time for goodness sakes.
The crazy thing about it is, Nick and I are fine! We are fine and would be just fine without everyone else's two cents on everything.
The bottom line is, I'm very hurt. People who I thought I could trust ARE talking bad about me. People don't like me just because of this whole situation. And I have done nothing to deserve that!
I've told Nick everything. I have told him that I don't want a boyfriend. I've told him I don't know what I want. I've told him that I like him. I've told him I'm confused. I've told him that I don't expect him to wait around on me and that I won't be upset if he doesn't want to hang out. I've told him that I want to hang out with my friends right now and I don't want to be stuck up a guy's ass all of the time.
So please tell me why everyone thinks I'm such a fucking bitch? Nick and I would be just fine without all the drama and things would be normal and casual like relationships are at the beginning. Casual dating is not an unusual thing in college...so tell me why everyone is freaking out about it! All this drama and everything just drains me and the thing is, it is completely UNNECCESSARY!
Apparently everyone is upset with me and frusterated with me over this whole Nick situation. Apparently everyone thinks that I'm a bitch to him. Apparently EVERYONE has an opinion on stuff that ISN'T THEIR BUSINESS!!!
I KNOW that Nick is great. I know he is sweet and adorable and that he cares for me very much. These are not things that I take lightly or just push aside. Yes, I'm fickle. But only because I am being cautious about jumping into something because I don't want either of us to get hurt! I have been nice, and genuine towards him. I have told him everything upfront in a caring manner. I have been honest. So again...why am I the bitch?
Nick told me that so many people have come up to him to ask him "what my deal is" or "why does he waste his time on me". It hurts me TO THE CORE that other people, who are supposedly my friends, would ever say these things about something that is my business. Why is that concept so far out of reach for everyone? Are we not in college? Is this not a time in people's lives when they expirament and play and have fun? Is it not a time when people date casually to see what they really want? Is this not a time filled with alcohol and permiscuous sex!? I'm not having permiscuous sex. I'm not cheating on anyone. I'm not playing anyone. I haven't made false promises to anyone. I haven't pretended to be something I'm not. I haven't lied or cheated or killed anyone! So WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG!?
I don't understand why everyone else has created all of this drama in my life. I just want to have fun and be with friends and figure out what I want. I'm hurt over someone else and I'm still protecting myself. Give me some time for goodness sakes.
The crazy thing about it is, Nick and I are fine! We are fine and would be just fine without everyone else's two cents on everything.
The bottom line is, I'm very hurt. People who I thought I could trust ARE talking bad about me. People don't like me just because of this whole situation. And I have done nothing to deserve that!