i don't need you anymore

[karadyan]

what a weekend. friday night we went over to nick's apartment and watched a little bit of beverly hills ninja, then switched to the pacifier. then i came back to my dorm and went to sleep for a very, very long time. woke up around 1130 and went to see casandra because i love her. nick called while i was there and was like "hey.. let's go out to eat" so i called josh and he said he'd be back in like 45 minutes. waited till he got back, met everyone at the mall. left from there, back to the dorms, and left for life light. the drive was a lot of fun - josh is insane. he got fidgety after a while and i wanted to punch him.. but kasi did instead. haha i love her too. we got to vermillion and picked up jordan, then drove forever to the concert.. walked around for a while, bought some stuff, then josh and i went back to my car to put the stuff in there.. and kinda got lost. it was a good time. anyway.. we got back in time to see TFK (not as good as i hoped it would be) left there around 1145 but it took FORever to get out of the parking lot. got back to jordan's around 130 ish.. and i was so tired i decided we shoudl just stay there.. specially since no one but jordan was helping me stay awake and if we had gone home last night, he would have stayed in vermillion. anyway.. so the 5 of us (josh, me, kasi, jennifer, and jordan) all pile into jordan's dorm room which is smaller than mine. he's got two beds made into lofts (his roommate wasn't coming home) and a love seat. josh and i made ourselves at home on the love seat and zonked out by 2. kasi was in jordan's bed, jen was in austin's bed, and jordan was on the floor. it was SO cramped.. i woke up like 3 times cuz i couldn't breathe.. then i had to blow my nose. it was a good time. i woke up around 930 and woke josh up.. then we woke everyone else up. jen and jordan went to get donuts and milk adn we had breakfast.. then we all chilled and played pool. i beat jordan and lost to josh by one ball.. stupid stupid. then went to have lunch. in the student center, something reeked really bad, and i realize it was us.. we were all wearing the clothes from yesterday, hadn't showered, and had gone to that concert with all those sweaty bodies rubbing against us. so we sat away from everyone else. then we told jordan goodbye and made our way back to campus. i'm really glad we decided not to come back last night cuz we probably would have died.

we got back there around 315 i think.. and kasi and i walked in and our bed sheets were switched - her sheets on my bed and visa versa. so we switched them back and went to shower - gloriousness!! then jeff texted and wanted to talk, so i said ohkay and called. he said he didn't need me anymore and he was going to move on. at first, it hurt. really bad actually. wow.. he doesn't need me anymore. then i realized - when was the last time i needed him to say "i love you"? when was the last time i really needed him to hold me? i didn't need him either. now i'm ohkay with it. it was just kindof a kicker i guess. i'm happy. i guess my assumptions about jeff and i's relationship being a long goodbye were true. it was time so say goodbye.. we should have said it six months ago. so i guess that that book is now closed. a new chapter is beginning and i can't wait.

well.. i'm giong to catch up on some much needed sleep. i hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend. God bless. xoxo