vague entry #1000
it's so hard to concentrate
i know i should distract myself but my thoughts are running in circles. i keep going back to that goddamn facebook photo where i'm so happy...i wish i had appreciated it while i had it. i knew i was happy but i took it so for granted! i thought things would keep going that way forever...so i was just swept along...and now look where i am. totally hurt. totally broken, even if i dont want to admit it to myself.
i've decided that hope is the most painful fucking emotion ever. it's so much easier when your hope is crushed. it kind of helped today that most of my hope was annihilated...but i still have that one fucking grain of hope in me that everything will be fine. that this was all some sort of stupid mistake.