I no longer scanlate - And I sincerely apologize for having done it in the past.
I used to scanlate doujinshi, mostly from the Hetalia fandom. It started as a way to improve my Japanese, and to share things I liked with others, and let's be honest, I also enjoyed even the little bit of attention that it brought. Five years ago I was going through a very dark period of my life, and I found that dedicating myself to the multi-step process of scanlation was soothing and it felt like "I'm failing at every single other aspect of my life, at least here I can create something."
This is meant as an introduction, and by no means as an excuse for my behavior. I'd like to analyze my mindset from back then from the point of view of the adult I am today.
I knew scanlation was "wrong", just like torrenting anime or video games is "wrong", in the sense that I knew it was considered wrong but I had absolutely no scruples about doing it. I really loved all the art and stories, and I felt like by making it more accessible to English speakers I was doing good. I was introduced to the genre of doujinshi by the scanlations of others. Eventually I started buying my own, and I told myself that if I bought a hard copy of everything I scanlated, that would make it okay. I told myself that I was broadening the appeal of the genre, because I wouldn't have paid money for physical doujinshi if I hadn't gotten accustomed to them online first.
Eventually, I saw some of my more popular scanlations reposted without asking, made into youtube videos, or re-translated without my permission. This really shocked me (if you're rolling your eyes, just wait for it). It felt like all the hours of love and hard work that I had poured into the project was being smeared across the internet like used toilet paper.
What then, of the person who had actually drawn the doujinshi? Who was this person who had spent hours upon hours drawing and inking and slaving away in their free time fueled only by THEIR love for the original work?
As I got older, and thanks in no small part to the activism of people writing PSAs about posting Japanese fanart without permission and the like, I have changed my mind about the morality of scanlation. This is not just like pirating movies, music, etc. Doujinshi and fanart are made by fans just like us. There is someone in a different country, in a different culture, who just like me squees in the middle of the night or tries not to cry over their latest heart-breaking headcanon.
Why would you steal from your fellow fans?
I did it. I took people's love and joy and talent. I did whatever I wanted with it; I didn't just disrespect them, I walked all over them like they weren't even a person.
I am so deeply sorry for redistributing the work of others. They is no excuse for how I treated their property and their ideas.
This is useless apology at this point, because I'm pretty sure no one will ever read this post, and I'm positive my scans are uploaded to other doujinshi sharing websites. I will no longer distribute any scans I made.
Maybe at some point between now and five years ago, when I was thinking over this issue, I would have thought - "Deleting is the right thing to do, but it's such a shame because of all the work I put into it."
Well, the thing is, it wasn't my right in the first place.
In a sense, I wish people in the fandom had been more vocal like they are now so that I would have sooner become more aware about relations between Japanese and western fans. But then again, these days people on tumblr repost fanart all the time without permission, and maybe I'm less exposed to it because I follow more mature members of the community. Also I remember about something called the Olive Branch Project which I think was an attempt by western Hetalia fans to get other western fans to treat Japanese fans with respect. I just chose to ignore what they had to say, which means that deep down I felt I had A Right to things that weren't mine.
But what it comes down to is that only I am responsible for my own behavior. I treated other people like trash and their work like free candy. I truly regret what I did. Scanlation brought me personal satisfaction at a time when I had little else, but that is meaningless because I chose to steal and take and lord about like the queen of a crap-filled pig pen.
I sincerely apologize to the artists I wronged. You entrusted your blood, sweat, and tears to complete strangers and I betrayed that trust. I am truly sorry.
I don't care if no one ever reads this post. I can only hope that younger anime fans will, like me, think on how their actions reflect on the value they place on the agency of other human beings.
I am not Japanese, and I frankly do not understand many of the Japanese-culture-specific aspects of the doujinshi debate. There are many other posts on those subjects. And you know what? It doesn't matter where I come from or where you come from or what culture we grew up in. The golden rule belongs to all people.
Don't treat people like they don't exist. Don't treat their feelings and ideas like they're just their for the taking. What if it were you. Think. Every time you think "eh I'm being a little naughty but..." Just. Think. Think about what your actions say about you as a person. Think about the assumptions you're acting on, think about the value you're placing on other people.
Growing up is many things. (I'm not even 30 yet, so who am I to talk) It's about manning up and taking responsibility for your actions. It's also about learning empathy. It's about taking a second look at how your actions affect other people.
I changed my mind about scanlating. There is no excuse for what I did. I hope this doesn't come across as a rationalization of bad behavior; I guess I wanted to write out my thought process to document how my mindset changed over time. I hope others like me will also realize their mistakes.
This is meant as an introduction, and by no means as an excuse for my behavior. I'd like to analyze my mindset from back then from the point of view of the adult I am today.
I knew scanlation was "wrong", just like torrenting anime or video games is "wrong", in the sense that I knew it was considered wrong but I had absolutely no scruples about doing it. I really loved all the art and stories, and I felt like by making it more accessible to English speakers I was doing good. I was introduced to the genre of doujinshi by the scanlations of others. Eventually I started buying my own, and I told myself that if I bought a hard copy of everything I scanlated, that would make it okay. I told myself that I was broadening the appeal of the genre, because I wouldn't have paid money for physical doujinshi if I hadn't gotten accustomed to them online first.
Eventually, I saw some of my more popular scanlations reposted without asking, made into youtube videos, or re-translated without my permission. This really shocked me (if you're rolling your eyes, just wait for it). It felt like all the hours of love and hard work that I had poured into the project was being smeared across the internet like used toilet paper.
What then, of the person who had actually drawn the doujinshi? Who was this person who had spent hours upon hours drawing and inking and slaving away in their free time fueled only by THEIR love for the original work?
As I got older, and thanks in no small part to the activism of people writing PSAs about posting Japanese fanart without permission and the like, I have changed my mind about the morality of scanlation. This is not just like pirating movies, music, etc. Doujinshi and fanart are made by fans just like us. There is someone in a different country, in a different culture, who just like me squees in the middle of the night or tries not to cry over their latest heart-breaking headcanon.
Why would you steal from your fellow fans?
I did it. I took people's love and joy and talent. I did whatever I wanted with it; I didn't just disrespect them, I walked all over them like they weren't even a person.
I am so deeply sorry for redistributing the work of others. They is no excuse for how I treated their property and their ideas.
This is useless apology at this point, because I'm pretty sure no one will ever read this post, and I'm positive my scans are uploaded to other doujinshi sharing websites. I will no longer distribute any scans I made.
Maybe at some point between now and five years ago, when I was thinking over this issue, I would have thought - "Deleting is the right thing to do, but it's such a shame because of all the work I put into it."
Well, the thing is, it wasn't my right in the first place.
In a sense, I wish people in the fandom had been more vocal like they are now so that I would have sooner become more aware about relations between Japanese and western fans. But then again, these days people on tumblr repost fanart all the time without permission, and maybe I'm less exposed to it because I follow more mature members of the community. Also I remember about something called the Olive Branch Project which I think was an attempt by western Hetalia fans to get other western fans to treat Japanese fans with respect. I just chose to ignore what they had to say, which means that deep down I felt I had A Right to things that weren't mine.
But what it comes down to is that only I am responsible for my own behavior. I treated other people like trash and their work like free candy. I truly regret what I did. Scanlation brought me personal satisfaction at a time when I had little else, but that is meaningless because I chose to steal and take and lord about like the queen of a crap-filled pig pen.
I sincerely apologize to the artists I wronged. You entrusted your blood, sweat, and tears to complete strangers and I betrayed that trust. I am truly sorry.
I don't care if no one ever reads this post. I can only hope that younger anime fans will, like me, think on how their actions reflect on the value they place on the agency of other human beings.
I am not Japanese, and I frankly do not understand many of the Japanese-culture-specific aspects of the doujinshi debate. There are many other posts on those subjects. And you know what? It doesn't matter where I come from or where you come from or what culture we grew up in. The golden rule belongs to all people.
Don't treat people like they don't exist. Don't treat their feelings and ideas like they're just their for the taking. What if it were you. Think. Every time you think "eh I'm being a little naughty but..." Just. Think. Think about what your actions say about you as a person. Think about the assumptions you're acting on, think about the value you're placing on other people.
Growing up is many things. (I'm not even 30 yet, so who am I to talk) It's about manning up and taking responsibility for your actions. It's also about learning empathy. It's about taking a second look at how your actions affect other people.
I changed my mind about scanlating. There is no excuse for what I did. I hope this doesn't come across as a rationalization of bad behavior; I guess I wanted to write out my thought process to document how my mindset changed over time. I hope others like me will also realize their mistakes.