Oh, this is a very dangerous meme.

[kappamaki33]

Never Will I Ever meme: Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return, I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them.

Heavy emphasis on the attempt to write.  If you completely stump me on all three...I'll think of some kind of other prize, I guess.

Comments

[lls_mutant]

Three fics you'll never write, huh? Keeping it not-squicky and not impossible....

1.) Chief and Cally's wedding and baby.
2.) Zarek, Adama, and Roslin in Culture Shock reading Harry Potter
3.) Hot Dog teaching Hera how to fly.

They probably aren't that out there, truthfully, but I like to keep it somewhat reasonable :)

Not to Mention Crumple-Horned Snorkacks

[kappamaki33]

Ten years later…

“That has got to be the strangest experience I’ve had in a long time,” Bill said, joints creaking as he sat down heavily on the couch beside Laura.

“Hmm?” Laura asked, only half awake. “I thought you were just helping Lee and Emma put the girls to bed.”

“I was,” Bill said. “But they wanted Grandpa Bill to read them a bedtime story.”

“And that’s so strange?” Laura sat up and pulled the afghan around her tighter. “I would think you’d relish any opportunity you got to read to them. What with Lee living here on the other side of the continent, it’s not exactly something you get to do every day.”

“Oh, I’m not complaining about that,” Bill quickly clarified. “It’s just that, apparently, ‘Grandpa’ Tom has them hooked on the strangest books.”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Oh, Grandpa Tom is involved,” she repeated knowingly. “Well, then it can’t possibly be any good for them. Honestly, Bill. He was my rival, remember? If I can bury the hatchet, so can you

Re: Not to Mention Crumple-Horned Snorkacks

[lorrainemarker]

Zarek as the cool grandpa is wonderful. It's interesting how Laura assumes that Bill's issue with Zarek is his being her rival. I've always thought that behind all of it was that Zarek held a gun on his son and Bill's never forgiven him for it. It's one of those behind the curtain things that never gets mentioned. But Bill's never going to forgive him for threatening Lee.

Re: Not to Mention Crumple-Horned Snorkacks

[kappamaki33]

Very true--I hadn't thought about that. It's funny, how Lee seems to let go of that first incident with Zarek and, though he certainly doesn't trust him, is much more able to work with Zarek than his father is.

Thanks for reading!

[lorrainemarker]

I don't know how out there these are, but here goes:

1)A completely cheerful, non-angsty Gaeta/Baltar scene.
2)Zarek kissing Roslin.
3)Bill Adama and Tom Zarek having a civil conversation in Culture Shock.

I hope you can have fun with at least one of these ;D

Hero (so it's not what you probably expected, but it is #2...)

[kappamaki33]

Laura opened her eyes and found herself staring at the ceiling above her bed. She hadn’t slept in that morning, she knew-she had four meetings with new Quorum members scheduled for that day-so the view confused her.

“Huh?”

She felt a hand close around hers. “Welcome back. Dr. Cottle said you should rest, but-I didn’t want to leave you alone, just in case. I hope that was all right?”

“What happened?” Laura mumbled groggily.

The presence holding her hand leaned into view. “You don't remember? Your heart stopped, Madam President,” Billy said. “Dr. Cottle told you not to take chamalla with that new medication, remember?”

Laura groaned and reached for the glass of water on her bedside table. Billy helped her sit up while she drank, then took the glass away from her and eased her back down.

“Ugh,” Laura moaned, “my chest is…sore.”

“Dr. Cottle was afraid Mr. Zarek might’ve bruised some of your ribs when he performed CPR.”

Laura narrowed her eyes. “I must be drugged, because I thought you just said Zarek performed CPR on me

Re: Hero (so it's not what you probably expected, but it is #2...)

[lorrainemarker]

I love this! It's a wonderful giggle and one of the few ways we'd ever see a Roslin/Zarek kiss. Thanks!!

Re: Hero (so it's not what you probably expected, but it is #2...)

[kappamaki33]

:D It was the only way I could think of that didn't end in Tom getting slapped, at least!

Cheers

[kappamaki33]

“Oh. My. Gods.”

“Yep,” said Hoshi, taking another drink.

“Felix and Tory?” Dee said, still staring in utter disbelief at the pair chatting companionably at the bar. “I do believe that’s one of the signs of the apocalypse

Re: Cheers

[kappamaki33]

Glad you liked it!

[safenthecity]

Um.... Hm.

1. Culture Shock, Gaeta and Hoshi's first real fight
2. Inside Adama's head fairly immediately after the mutiny
3. Gaeta/Narcho, like the writers originally planned

Just for fun. :)

[kappamaki33]

Definitely #3--I have no idea what was going in #2, and as for #1, my Felix and Louis muses pointed out a clause in their contracts that says "absolutely NO angst for Lts. Gaeta and/or Hoshi in 'Culture Shock.'" Plus, a bunny already bit hard on #3. In fact, that'll probably be fic-length. Sadly, no time to write it at the moment (darn school gets in the way of all my fun), but it will be done!

[kappamaki33]

Woohoo! I finally did this one! My first idea didn't pan out, though I might try that again sometime, too, but "Flying High" is all yours! Now I can maybe get to your *current* Never Will I Ever prompt.

[puszysty]

1. cylon!Hoshi
2. Dee plotting the mutiny and Felix objecting
3. Bill dumps Laura for Saul

[kappamaki33]

This was the hardest of the bunch. I think I'm going to go with #1, oddly enough...might take me a bit, but...intriguing...