Dear Abby... [reported to facebook as abuse]
Dear Abby...
I'm writing this to remember it clearly later on.
We started talking again late in 2007, you were helping me through a previous heartbreak. I had been wishing to get you back for years. I had fantasized about you constantly since we last saw each other 15 years ago. We always had fantastic sex, that was never an issue for us.
I saw you on December 19th as I came back to Ontario to visit for the holidays, to see you, my family and especially my grandma. We were in your bed that very night that I got to Ontario, while you were still engaged to Jay. We went to Windsor, hung out with your family and mine. I introduced you to my grandma - only one other girl in my life had met her, Leann, and I thought her and I would get married too. I brought you into my circle of friends, we stayed at Kris' house together, I introduced you to my favorite kids in the world. They accepted you and loved you right away as one of our own.
You left on Dec 22 to see your fiance's family in Edmonton. You stayed there a couple nights, breaking off the engagement on Christmas eve and coming back to be with me in Windsor on Christmas day. We spent more time together, making love and enjoying each other.
Then I went back to Vancouver, not knowing where we stood or what it all meant. I had hoped we would get back together, but didn't expect much even though there was a lot of talk. I decided to move to TO to be with you. I never really liked TO, and loved Vancouver from the start, so that was a big sacrifice for me.
While we were apart there was temptation in Vancouver, and one indiscretion on my part. A one time thing that was just physical and looking back I really wasn't into. That was, as strange as it sounds, a sign for me. I decided to move to be with you earlier than planned, sold everything I owned, and bought a one way ticket to TO. I remember getting a shiatsu chair massage and I remember running to the bathroom with a crazy case of diarrhea - for some reason I thought it was a sign, I took it to mean that I was cleansing myself and leaving my shit behind me to be with you forever.
We moved in together as soon as I got there. We had crazy monkey sex all the time. It was incredible.
There were some strange things though... like introducing me to Vance and that crew as "Your Friend" - also it was strange that Vance would call at 3am and send sex text messages at all hours... I asked you and you said that nothing had ever happened between you and Vance - but come on, no man sends a woman those kinds of messages if he had been shut down time after time - only if it had worked for him before. You thought it was appropriate and fine that he sent those messages. I even had to intercept a call at 3am to tell him not to call anymore like that. But it didn't stop. I let it go though and didn't pursue it because you said that nothing ever happened, and I wanted to believe you.
Looking back, I don't believe for a second that you didn't have sex with him. Especially after you told me that you cheated on every boyfriend you've ever had.
You were always stressed out about stuff, school, whatever and I tried to help you be calm but to no avail. You were worried and asked me if anything happened in Vancouver while I was back there. I told you no but you persisted. You knew my facebook password, and on the day I changed it there was some funny business - you told me about someone trying to get into your facebook - they sent you a message that so many failed login attempts were made - and asked if I had gotten the same email - felt like a set-up, still does. You asked me about Vancouver again, and bet me that something would be in my facebook messages - apparently I forgot to delete them and you knew just where to find everything to convict me of your suspicions.
I grovelled, I got rid of friends on facebook - people I actually like, because you said I was just keeping them around because I couldn't 'close those doors' and I wanted them to still want me. I just wanted you to be happy and secure. We had a huge blow out, I tried to sleep on the porch, and slept on the couch for more than one night.
You had proposed to me the week before this all came out with a black twist tie. When things started going better - though you didn't want me to get back into acting, you were afraid I would sleep with all of my scene partners, and you didn't want to move anywhere where I had been with anyone else, so no more moving back to Van - anyhow when things started going better I did things every day to prove to you that I loved you. I brought you flowers, I wrote hearts on napkins and hid them all over the house, I bought you a ring, etc...
And to top it off I got a black twist tie tattooed on my ring finger to let you know that I was serious in accepting your proposal.
Things seemed back on track, we even showed your parents my tattoo and eventually you got one on your back to symbolize our relationship too - at least you can lie and say it's all just about you, mine is clearly about a relationship.
Then the trainer's retreat in LA. Work had been going pretty well for me and they sent me to LA for a weekend. Of course you were worried that there were be some other indiscretion, but I assured you there wouldn't be. I went, called you all the time, every day, and things were going great.
Then the LA group went out bowling and drinking. One of the girls who works for us is a body builder, and she was complaining about a ridiculously sore neck. I offered to show her some stretches that would help. She asked if I would work on her neck and shoulders a bit, so I did. Later in the night she said she was going to come back to my room for a massage later. I told her no, said that wouldn't be right.
I got home, called you and told you how much I loved you. My roommate Kris [a trainer from the Texas market who like boys] was there. There was a knock at the door. I opened it, and it was the girl from earlier. I told her to get lost, that she couldn't come in, she complained about how bad her shoulders were. I reluctantly let her in, I had no interest in sex with her which was a sign to me that I loved you. also I figured because my roommate was there it was safe. There was no chance that anything would happen. I showed her a couple more neck stretches and massaged her shoulders, then told her to get up, it was time to go. She was drunk, I walked her back to her room. I had told her roommate not to let her come to my room and I wanted to give her roommate a piece of my mind about it. I did. I left the two of them and went back to my room to sleep.
When I got back to TO you asked me if I had cheated on you, I said no.
A couple days later I admitted to you that I was struggling emotionally and felt bad about what happened in LA, even though nothing really
happened. You got into digging mode and made as much out of it as you possibly could. "Were you drinking?" "Was she flirting with you?" "Oh, so she wanted you." "You knew she wanted you and you let her into your room anyway..." you can't say no to any girl, you have to have them wanting you" etc, etc etc...
You made me move out. I grabbed some stuff and took it to the corporate condo and threw it into a room. I came back the next day and grabbed some more, we argued more about it, cried, and you drove me over with more stuff.
You were worried about how Shannon would see you if you didn't kick me out. We didn't see each other for a couple days, I was so lost I couldn't even breathe. My heart and head were spinning and I couldn't sleep or eat or anything. Then we saw each other. Things were not easy, but started working. We missed each other a lot. We started having sex again. Then you told me it was a mistake, we shouldn't be seeing each other. Then you came in one day when I was working, we spoke about how much we missed each other, you picked me up from work that night and we stayed together for days again, having sex, enjoying each other. I helped you paint. You had the first orgasm in a long time in my room, and another in your bed after we painted.
The next you said you couldn't be with me, that you didn't want to give me false hope. Things were going so well though, and actions speak louder than words, so I was lost again. I dropped the car back to you at your school, and you were going to give me a ride home but instead you had to pick up Shannon and obviously she couldn't see the two of us together. You offered a subway token, and asked if I was mad at you. I told you no but that I was frustrated with this game of yours - come here, go away, come here, go away, I love you, I can't be with you, sex, get lost - and told you that you wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. I walked away. You threw the token at me and it bounced off of my back. I kept walking.
You texted me: I cannot believe your behaviour. I am not the one that fucked this up. You are blaming me for being confused? I am sorry I don't have a rule book for this situation. The last thing I want is for it to end shitty like this.
You continued: I am sorry I wasn't strong enough to walk away from the start of this mess. It obviously would have been better for the both of us.
I responded: You said yourself that you would never trust me again, so fuck that - there is no way I am going to live my life in a relationship like that - this IS how you wanted it to end - and tell Shannon that we were hanging out and having sex - apparently our relationship is somehow her business.
I called you a week later, I needed closure, I needed you to know that I didn't hate you and that I missed you. You messaged me back to say you didn't think it was a good idea. You said I could have closure on the phone, so we got into it.
I talked about our relationship and the real reason why it didn't work - we never took the time to get to know each other again. We were so familiar emotionally and physically that we never took the time to figure each other out intellectually and philosophically. You were all about "ownership" - and I'm all about freedom and choice. You had no interest in my musical tastes, my film tastes or my TV series tastes - yet I watched yours, even listened to Justin Timberlake and gave it more than a fair shot - I even liked it. But Pink Floyd puts you to sleep, and Heroes is not something you want to watch. I think that should have been a pretty big tell right there. You pushed me to eat when I wasn't hungry. You lied to me about you quitting smoking, about how much you were drinking, to your parents about us living together, and deep down I'm pretty sure you were lying to me about where you would go when you felt you needed to go to a coffee shop to study - I could never come along, and you never knew when you'd be back. Funny that Vance's house was just around the corner. It was strange to me that you could never sleep, while I slept like a baby beside you.
You said people see you and me like we see Laura and her Craig, which only tells me that you've been badmouthing me to people behind my back for a while, otherwise who would think I was anything like that piece of crap.
To end it all, apparently you've blocked me from Facebook, and so has your sister, and her boyfriend. I can only assume it's because you've read my status which reads "Shannon Christopher W. says good riddance to bad rubbish." and you thought it applies to you. It doesn't. Not at all. In fact was in support of Dave and the celebration of burning the letter finally.
But if you want it to take it to mean you, and block me and such, more power to you. Looking back at this post I'm pretty sure my friends will think it's the bast thing for me.
I'm writing this to remember it clearly later on.
We started talking again late in 2007, you were helping me through a previous heartbreak. I had been wishing to get you back for years. I had fantasized about you constantly since we last saw each other 15 years ago. We always had fantastic sex, that was never an issue for us.
I saw you on December 19th as I came back to Ontario to visit for the holidays, to see you, my family and especially my grandma. We were in your bed that very night that I got to Ontario, while you were still engaged to Jay. We went to Windsor, hung out with your family and mine. I introduced you to my grandma - only one other girl in my life had met her, Leann, and I thought her and I would get married too. I brought you into my circle of friends, we stayed at Kris' house together, I introduced you to my favorite kids in the world. They accepted you and loved you right away as one of our own.
You left on Dec 22 to see your fiance's family in Edmonton. You stayed there a couple nights, breaking off the engagement on Christmas eve and coming back to be with me in Windsor on Christmas day. We spent more time together, making love and enjoying each other.
Then I went back to Vancouver, not knowing where we stood or what it all meant. I had hoped we would get back together, but didn't expect much even though there was a lot of talk. I decided to move to TO to be with you. I never really liked TO, and loved Vancouver from the start, so that was a big sacrifice for me.
While we were apart there was temptation in Vancouver, and one indiscretion on my part. A one time thing that was just physical and looking back I really wasn't into. That was, as strange as it sounds, a sign for me. I decided to move to be with you earlier than planned, sold everything I owned, and bought a one way ticket to TO. I remember getting a shiatsu chair massage and I remember running to the bathroom with a crazy case of diarrhea - for some reason I thought it was a sign, I took it to mean that I was cleansing myself and leaving my shit behind me to be with you forever.
We moved in together as soon as I got there. We had crazy monkey sex all the time. It was incredible.
There were some strange things though... like introducing me to Vance and that crew as "Your Friend" - also it was strange that Vance would call at 3am and send sex text messages at all hours... I asked you and you said that nothing had ever happened between you and Vance - but come on, no man sends a woman those kinds of messages if he had been shut down time after time - only if it had worked for him before. You thought it was appropriate and fine that he sent those messages. I even had to intercept a call at 3am to tell him not to call anymore like that. But it didn't stop. I let it go though and didn't pursue it because you said that nothing ever happened, and I wanted to believe you.
Looking back, I don't believe for a second that you didn't have sex with him. Especially after you told me that you cheated on every boyfriend you've ever had.
You were always stressed out about stuff, school, whatever and I tried to help you be calm but to no avail. You were worried and asked me if anything happened in Vancouver while I was back there. I told you no but you persisted. You knew my facebook password, and on the day I changed it there was some funny business - you told me about someone trying to get into your facebook - they sent you a message that so many failed login attempts were made - and asked if I had gotten the same email - felt like a set-up, still does. You asked me about Vancouver again, and bet me that something would be in my facebook messages - apparently I forgot to delete them and you knew just where to find everything to convict me of your suspicions.
I grovelled, I got rid of friends on facebook - people I actually like, because you said I was just keeping them around because I couldn't 'close those doors' and I wanted them to still want me. I just wanted you to be happy and secure. We had a huge blow out, I tried to sleep on the porch, and slept on the couch for more than one night.
You had proposed to me the week before this all came out with a black twist tie. When things started going better - though you didn't want me to get back into acting, you were afraid I would sleep with all of my scene partners, and you didn't want to move anywhere where I had been with anyone else, so no more moving back to Van - anyhow when things started going better I did things every day to prove to you that I loved you. I brought you flowers, I wrote hearts on napkins and hid them all over the house, I bought you a ring, etc...
And to top it off I got a black twist tie tattooed on my ring finger to let you know that I was serious in accepting your proposal.
Things seemed back on track, we even showed your parents my tattoo and eventually you got one on your back to symbolize our relationship too - at least you can lie and say it's all just about you, mine is clearly about a relationship.
Then the trainer's retreat in LA. Work had been going pretty well for me and they sent me to LA for a weekend. Of course you were worried that there were be some other indiscretion, but I assured you there wouldn't be. I went, called you all the time, every day, and things were going great.
Then the LA group went out bowling and drinking. One of the girls who works for us is a body builder, and she was complaining about a ridiculously sore neck. I offered to show her some stretches that would help. She asked if I would work on her neck and shoulders a bit, so I did. Later in the night she said she was going to come back to my room for a massage later. I told her no, said that wouldn't be right.
I got home, called you and told you how much I loved you. My roommate Kris [a trainer from the Texas market who like boys] was there. There was a knock at the door. I opened it, and it was the girl from earlier. I told her to get lost, that she couldn't come in, she complained about how bad her shoulders were. I reluctantly let her in, I had no interest in sex with her which was a sign to me that I loved you. also I figured because my roommate was there it was safe. There was no chance that anything would happen. I showed her a couple more neck stretches and massaged her shoulders, then told her to get up, it was time to go. She was drunk, I walked her back to her room. I had told her roommate not to let her come to my room and I wanted to give her roommate a piece of my mind about it. I did. I left the two of them and went back to my room to sleep.
When I got back to TO you asked me if I had cheated on you, I said no.
A couple days later I admitted to you that I was struggling emotionally and felt bad about what happened in LA, even though nothing really
happened. You got into digging mode and made as much out of it as you possibly could. "Were you drinking?" "Was she flirting with you?" "Oh, so she wanted you." "You knew she wanted you and you let her into your room anyway..." you can't say no to any girl, you have to have them wanting you" etc, etc etc...
You made me move out. I grabbed some stuff and took it to the corporate condo and threw it into a room. I came back the next day and grabbed some more, we argued more about it, cried, and you drove me over with more stuff.
You were worried about how Shannon would see you if you didn't kick me out. We didn't see each other for a couple days, I was so lost I couldn't even breathe. My heart and head were spinning and I couldn't sleep or eat or anything. Then we saw each other. Things were not easy, but started working. We missed each other a lot. We started having sex again. Then you told me it was a mistake, we shouldn't be seeing each other. Then you came in one day when I was working, we spoke about how much we missed each other, you picked me up from work that night and we stayed together for days again, having sex, enjoying each other. I helped you paint. You had the first orgasm in a long time in my room, and another in your bed after we painted.
The next you said you couldn't be with me, that you didn't want to give me false hope. Things were going so well though, and actions speak louder than words, so I was lost again. I dropped the car back to you at your school, and you were going to give me a ride home but instead you had to pick up Shannon and obviously she couldn't see the two of us together. You offered a subway token, and asked if I was mad at you. I told you no but that I was frustrated with this game of yours - come here, go away, come here, go away, I love you, I can't be with you, sex, get lost - and told you that you wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. I walked away. You threw the token at me and it bounced off of my back. I kept walking.
You texted me: I cannot believe your behaviour. I am not the one that fucked this up. You are blaming me for being confused? I am sorry I don't have a rule book for this situation. The last thing I want is for it to end shitty like this.
You continued: I am sorry I wasn't strong enough to walk away from the start of this mess. It obviously would have been better for the both of us.
I responded: You said yourself that you would never trust me again, so fuck that - there is no way I am going to live my life in a relationship like that - this IS how you wanted it to end - and tell Shannon that we were hanging out and having sex - apparently our relationship is somehow her business.
I called you a week later, I needed closure, I needed you to know that I didn't hate you and that I missed you. You messaged me back to say you didn't think it was a good idea. You said I could have closure on the phone, so we got into it.
I talked about our relationship and the real reason why it didn't work - we never took the time to get to know each other again. We were so familiar emotionally and physically that we never took the time to figure each other out intellectually and philosophically. You were all about "ownership" - and I'm all about freedom and choice. You had no interest in my musical tastes, my film tastes or my TV series tastes - yet I watched yours, even listened to Justin Timberlake and gave it more than a fair shot - I even liked it. But Pink Floyd puts you to sleep, and Heroes is not something you want to watch. I think that should have been a pretty big tell right there. You pushed me to eat when I wasn't hungry. You lied to me about you quitting smoking, about how much you were drinking, to your parents about us living together, and deep down I'm pretty sure you were lying to me about where you would go when you felt you needed to go to a coffee shop to study - I could never come along, and you never knew when you'd be back. Funny that Vance's house was just around the corner. It was strange to me that you could never sleep, while I slept like a baby beside you.
You said people see you and me like we see Laura and her Craig, which only tells me that you've been badmouthing me to people behind my back for a while, otherwise who would think I was anything like that piece of crap.
To end it all, apparently you've blocked me from Facebook, and so has your sister, and her boyfriend. I can only assume it's because you've read my status which reads "Shannon Christopher W. says good riddance to bad rubbish." and you thought it applies to you. It doesn't. Not at all. In fact was in support of Dave and the celebration of burning the letter finally.
But if you want it to take it to mean you, and block me and such, more power to you. Looking back at this post I'm pretty sure my friends will think it's the bast thing for me.