I love my new icon!
Been a long time since i've updated so here goes. I've been working a lot lately and not easy shit either. A lot of stair climbing and heavy stuff but i can handle it. Still at dj's but I really hope to move out at the end of the month. I want a roommate but I may have to just get an apartment by myself, so if anyone is looking to get an apt. or needs a roomie, i've got money. I had a great time at akon with both if my cousins, which was a while ago, but i still wanted to mention it. I miss her and want to see her soon. Me and jessie went out last friday and I had a blast with her. She knows a lot of nice and interesting people. I miss all my friends at rocky and wish we could hurry up and get a print. It fuckin sucks that we don't have it yet, oh well. Dj and I have been having our usual conversations. More often we are on opposite sides of the fence but it does make it interesting.
My feelings change on a daily basis anyway. One day I'm fine and feel like my old self, I have faith, and have no hate in my heart at all. Then the next day its, I hate gays I wish they were all dead. I really am torn inside. I have both of these feelings at about an equal amount. I wish I could just figure out how I really feel inside. I'm totally confused. It drives me crazy sometimes. Maybe I really did go crazy when all that shit happenes and split into two or more people inside. It fucking feels like it all the time. Before all that shit I knew what I believed in and there was no question of it. Now, two years later I really don't know who I am. I'm more calm and have my head together with work and everything. I'm not depressed all the time like I used to be, actually I have a lot of fun. But my feelings about love, hate and most of all, gays, i really don't know how I feel about these things. Grrrrrrr, I really was happy before this shit. But thats how it goes. If I could ever take back "coming out" I so would. But since I already did I wish I could learn to live with it. I doubt I ever will but who knows, anything is possible, just not probable.
I do love all my friends, no matter what. And that goes for all of you. And there are those who are really special to me and you know who you are. So anyway except for my crazy feelings I would say things are going well.
I hope everyone likes my new icon, dj made it for me hehe. I love it.
Ps. call me if anyone wants to hang out or go see a movie, although you may have to try a few times since dj is usually on line.
Later................
My feelings change on a daily basis anyway. One day I'm fine and feel like my old self, I have faith, and have no hate in my heart at all. Then the next day its, I hate gays I wish they were all dead. I really am torn inside. I have both of these feelings at about an equal amount. I wish I could just figure out how I really feel inside. I'm totally confused. It drives me crazy sometimes. Maybe I really did go crazy when all that shit happenes and split into two or more people inside. It fucking feels like it all the time. Before all that shit I knew what I believed in and there was no question of it. Now, two years later I really don't know who I am. I'm more calm and have my head together with work and everything. I'm not depressed all the time like I used to be, actually I have a lot of fun. But my feelings about love, hate and most of all, gays, i really don't know how I feel about these things. Grrrrrrr, I really was happy before this shit. But thats how it goes. If I could ever take back "coming out" I so would. But since I already did I wish I could learn to live with it. I doubt I ever will but who knows, anything is possible, just not probable.
I do love all my friends, no matter what. And that goes for all of you. And there are those who are really special to me and you know who you are. So anyway except for my crazy feelings I would say things are going well.
I hope everyone likes my new icon, dj made it for me hehe. I love it.
Ps. call me if anyone wants to hang out or go see a movie, although you may have to try a few times since dj is usually on line.
Later................