seems like I don't have a life....
It's been damn too long time again since my last journal.
It doesn't mean that I don't want to communicate with you guys or anything,
But I kinda realized, I don't actually have the life for my own self.
I don't know,when I'm busy, I'll be busy for someone else's sake.
and when I have the time for myself, I'd just lay down and think about nothing....
I have many friends, but it seems like I've lost them in the same time.
Too much lost in contact.....
I know I'm bad....
But when I have time....I just wanna keep being alone....
so it makes me feel lonely... but I couldn't help.... I need time....
the silent time...
then I lost my friends again?
or maybe not? I don't know.
But I'm so sure that I'm living a life as like I don't have a life,
life for myself....
Only one good thing to announce
Did I tell you? I have a dream?
working in the Japanese TV industrial?
Now I'm finally accepted by a small TV direction company.
So that means, after my graduation, I'll be working for any TV programs what you maybe watching!!!
That's the only thing that I think my life has come true,
it becomes real.
for something else...?? no... not at all....
I've busy, too busy to watch Arashi,
Too busy to remind myself turning on the TV watching Arashi...
I love Arashi as usual, but I just.....
my head's been blank for quite a while.
I don't know, it's complicated.
Maybe working is my life?
though I madly long for some kind of peace...
But still, I'm still seeking for the busy life...
ahhhhhh
Now you see.
I really have no life.
I even can't explain my feeling in the proper word.
Anyway!!
I GOT THE JOB!!!
(only I can pass through the final visa screen by Japanese government. if they allow me to get the work permit, then I'm fine, if not, I need to say goodbye and find new job ASAP)
so hope someday, I could work with any of our boys. LOL
And on that they, I'll tell them, there're too many girls/boys around the world who love them like crazy!
see you!!!
sorry for my randomness.
It doesn't mean that I don't want to communicate with you guys or anything,
But I kinda realized, I don't actually have the life for my own self.
I don't know,when I'm busy, I'll be busy for someone else's sake.
and when I have the time for myself, I'd just lay down and think about nothing....
I have many friends, but it seems like I've lost them in the same time.
Too much lost in contact.....
I know I'm bad....
But when I have time....I just wanna keep being alone....
so it makes me feel lonely... but I couldn't help.... I need time....
the silent time...
then I lost my friends again?
or maybe not? I don't know.
But I'm so sure that I'm living a life as like I don't have a life,
life for myself....
Only one good thing to announce
Did I tell you? I have a dream?
working in the Japanese TV industrial?
Now I'm finally accepted by a small TV direction company.
So that means, after my graduation, I'll be working for any TV programs what you maybe watching!!!
That's the only thing that I think my life has come true,
it becomes real.
for something else...?? no... not at all....
I've busy, too busy to watch Arashi,
Too busy to remind myself turning on the TV watching Arashi...
I love Arashi as usual, but I just.....
my head's been blank for quite a while.
I don't know, it's complicated.
Maybe working is my life?
though I madly long for some kind of peace...
But still, I'm still seeking for the busy life...
ahhhhhh
Now you see.
I really have no life.
I even can't explain my feeling in the proper word.
Anyway!!
I GOT THE JOB!!!
(only I can pass through the final visa screen by Japanese government. if they allow me to get the work permit, then I'm fine, if not, I need to say goodbye and find new job ASAP)
so hope someday, I could work with any of our boys. LOL
And on that they, I'll tell them, there're too many girls/boys around the world who love them like crazy!
see you!!!
sorry for my randomness.