stress trigger insomnia, so Grindr!
Had an unexpected conversation at work late in the day about work stuff that triggered some work stress memories from earlier this year that are still unresolved, so after some initial sleep I'm not falling back asleep yet. Which is OK, I don't fret about not being able to sleep, I just putz around until I feel sleepy. Or until dawn. Whatever. If trying to sleep doesn't work then I do something else. I may yet fall asleep, maybe after I write about stuff.
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So I put together a free Grindr profile to see what that app looks like nowadays. I was actually pleased with some recent pics I took as I pondered which ones to use. I'm not some toned young dude with visible abs, but the effort I put into running, lifting, and intermittent fasting does portray a fit older guy, for those willing to meet an older guy.
I'm the kind of person who fills in all the 255-space text box with a description of what I offer and what I'm looking for, and selects all 10 keywords, all 3 tribes, etc. But most guys on the app throw up a faceless pic of their abs plus minimal text, if they even use a pic at all.
Although I live in a neighborhood of $500,000 homes, there are working-class apartments just a couple miles away that are predominantly hispanic. That's the kind of neighborhood Missa lives in with his mother and sister (he's still in the closet). Missa is the only one of my current crew who I initially met via Grindr. He had a minimal no-pic profile, but when he texted me he sent a face pic so I texted him back. Pre-pandemic I had one other repeat visitor who I'd initially met on Grindr, but when he got into architecture school in NYC he said goodbye and then forthrightly cut off all contact (he was also in the closet). I met some other people on Grindr who didn't stick around at all, plus one I ghosted when he didn't respect my stated boundaries about condoms and chastity. [Right, I forgot about the guys who beg me to let them bareback me before they've earned my trust.] I think overall I've met more people on Grindr than on Recon, but I feel Recon is the higher quality app with higher quality guys. Grindr is more quantity than quality.
I think I was ultimately driven off Grindr because of soooooooo many romance scammers. It started to feel like a stupid waste of time. I might lend/give $$$$ to somebody I've known for years, but not to somebody I've never met who claims to love me already LOL.
There's sort of a standard practice with these apps that if you don't have a pic in your profile you should send a pic as an introduction when you initiate a chat. I mainly ignore picless people because I don't want to get into a long discussion with somebody when I have no idea what they look like, and then have to turn them down when they finally send a pic. I know there are people who are discreet, or shy, but you gotta take some risks if you wanna meet people. I'm not discreet, I always use face pics for my profiles with shirtless & jockstrap pics down below. I have nothing to hide, and I only use the most recent pics I have, not the cute pic from my beach vacation 10 years ago.
But I don't open these location-based apps when I'm at the office! I probably won't open Grindr even during my lunch breaks downtown, I don't need any of my gay coworkers seeing my shirtless pics from 0.5 miles away LOL.
The last time I used Grindr I blocked T's profile as soon as I saw it. He hasn't opened the app recently so I can't do that yet. But as soon as I see him I'll block him. Not because it is a secret -- I already told him I'm back on Grindr. And he's already seen me shirtless or naked LOL. I just don't want to feel like I'm flirting with other guys "in front of him". He's got more of a history with jealousy about me than my other dudes. Why rub his face in it? I tell him about all my fellas, even giving him updates about K.
I already saw DavidS on Grindr LOL, he doesn't live far away. If he wants to be looking for hookups while he's too busy to see me again, that's his business. I'm 99% over him now and it won't bug me to see him online. If it does bug me, I'll block him also.
Maybe I'll use the apps while I'm in Beverly Hills next month and hookup with a gay movie star LOL. I could have them open while I'm at Turkey Day and get some Fairfax County nibbles, heh.
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Although I felt some work stress today, overall I have been reopening my social life as the overall work stress level has decreased from earlier this year. But now that Kent is hosting Game Days once or twice per month, I'm not sure I'll try to compete with that and host my own open attendance events again. I will still try to have Kent, Steve, and B over for Hegemony after I finish my current solo playthrough, but that playthrough has been on hold since T got COVID and I had to spend the weekend away from him, and now he had to cancel his trip to Seattle. I'll get back into that game next week. But finding a time when all three of those guys are available will be ... a bit of work?
-----
So I put together a free Grindr profile to see what that app looks like nowadays. I was actually pleased with some recent pics I took as I pondered which ones to use. I'm not some toned young dude with visible abs, but the effort I put into running, lifting, and intermittent fasting does portray a fit older guy, for those willing to meet an older guy.
I'm the kind of person who fills in all the 255-space text box with a description of what I offer and what I'm looking for, and selects all 10 keywords, all 3 tribes, etc. But most guys on the app throw up a faceless pic of their abs plus minimal text, if they even use a pic at all.
Although I live in a neighborhood of $500,000 homes, there are working-class apartments just a couple miles away that are predominantly hispanic. That's the kind of neighborhood Missa lives in with his mother and sister (he's still in the closet). Missa is the only one of my current crew who I initially met via Grindr. He had a minimal no-pic profile, but when he texted me he sent a face pic so I texted him back. Pre-pandemic I had one other repeat visitor who I'd initially met on Grindr, but when he got into architecture school in NYC he said goodbye and then forthrightly cut off all contact (he was also in the closet). I met some other people on Grindr who didn't stick around at all, plus one I ghosted when he didn't respect my stated boundaries about condoms and chastity. [Right, I forgot about the guys who beg me to let them bareback me before they've earned my trust.] I think overall I've met more people on Grindr than on Recon, but I feel Recon is the higher quality app with higher quality guys. Grindr is more quantity than quality.
I think I was ultimately driven off Grindr because of soooooooo many romance scammers. It started to feel like a stupid waste of time. I might lend/give $$$$ to somebody I've known for years, but not to somebody I've never met who claims to love me already LOL.
There's sort of a standard practice with these apps that if you don't have a pic in your profile you should send a pic as an introduction when you initiate a chat. I mainly ignore picless people because I don't want to get into a long discussion with somebody when I have no idea what they look like, and then have to turn them down when they finally send a pic. I know there are people who are discreet, or shy, but you gotta take some risks if you wanna meet people. I'm not discreet, I always use face pics for my profiles with shirtless & jockstrap pics down below. I have nothing to hide, and I only use the most recent pics I have, not the cute pic from my beach vacation 10 years ago.
But I don't open these location-based apps when I'm at the office! I probably won't open Grindr even during my lunch breaks downtown, I don't need any of my gay coworkers seeing my shirtless pics from 0.5 miles away LOL.
The last time I used Grindr I blocked T's profile as soon as I saw it. He hasn't opened the app recently so I can't do that yet. But as soon as I see him I'll block him. Not because it is a secret -- I already told him I'm back on Grindr. And he's already seen me shirtless or naked LOL. I just don't want to feel like I'm flirting with other guys "in front of him". He's got more of a history with jealousy about me than my other dudes. Why rub his face in it? I tell him about all my fellas, even giving him updates about K.
I already saw DavidS on Grindr LOL, he doesn't live far away. If he wants to be looking for hookups while he's too busy to see me again, that's his business. I'm 99% over him now and it won't bug me to see him online. If it does bug me, I'll block him also.
Maybe I'll use the apps while I'm in Beverly Hills next month and hookup with a gay movie star LOL. I could have them open while I'm at Turkey Day and get some Fairfax County nibbles, heh.
-----
Although I felt some work stress today, overall I have been reopening my social life as the overall work stress level has decreased from earlier this year. But now that Kent is hosting Game Days once or twice per month, I'm not sure I'll try to compete with that and host my own open attendance events again. I will still try to have Kent, Steve, and B over for Hegemony after I finish my current solo playthrough, but that playthrough has been on hold since T got COVID and I had to spend the weekend away from him, and now he had to cancel his trip to Seattle. I'll get back into that game next week. But finding a time when all three of those guys are available will be ... a bit of work?