finished it (Thursday lunch break)
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/documentary/growing-up-trans/
I think this is an excellent documentary, although it raises some questions that it cannot answer, and it provokes me to ask additional questions it doesn't answer.
Clearly, some people are driven to adopt a gender different from the one that society planned for them based on their sex organs at birth. And I'm 100% in favor of each person choosing their own gender, or choosing to have no gender at all, regardless of how old they are.
The details can get tricky, however. For receiving medication as a minor, there are a lot of issues regarding which effects of these medications will be permanent and which will be reversible. There are issues of insurance coverage and cost. There are issues with parental consent. There are issues with state law. There are issues with how the minor will be treated at school by teachers, coaches, and classmates.
If you are adult, many of these issues are similar or the same, except that you no longer need parental consent to receive medication or surgery. There are still a lot of issues, plus add in issues with employment, dating, and having/raising children.
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I never felt driven to become a girl or a woman. For me, adopting a nonbinary identity is perhaps more of a political statement than a statement of social nonconformity -- because just about anybody would classify me as "male" upon first sight as well as after getting to know me. But I do have sex with other males, which is definitely a form of gender nonconformity. And I've never in my life made a big deal about acting masculine instead of feminine, instead I'm me, wherever that me falls upon the so-called continuum between feminine & masculine.
I think this continuum is bullshit, that both genders are arbitrary constructions. But if somebody finds they prefer one gender to the other, I'm not going to forbid them from expressing whichever gender they prefer.
Watching the kids in this documentary, they found themselves living in a world of boys and girls, and they each wanted to be a boy or a girl, but they were born "in the wrong body". One of them said the absolute worst would be to look and act like you were in between a boy and a girl, that would get you picked on the most. Yes, picked on. There's so much societal pressure to be either a boy or a girl, that most people feel compelled to be one or the other. To me, both of these options are bullshit. But I understand the pressure, and I conform in a lot of ways without paying much attention to it. Yeah, I buy men's clothing. I get men's haircuts. Yeah, whatever. But usually because I feel the men's options are simpler. I just don't want to bother with stuff like hairstyles or makeup or shaving my legs. I don't even want to bother with shaving my face, so I have a beard. I don't want to bother with painting my nails.
My gender is basically "whatever is easiest". And I think that's why I'm attracted to guys, because it feels easier to have relationships within the same gender region. I don't have to worry about pregnancy. When I was younger, I didn't have to worry about marriage or children.
You might think that polyamory or relationship anarchy is more difficult than monogamy, so why am I not monogamous? But I don't feel that way. I feel that monogamy was a lot more work, I felt way more free to be me after I embraced polyamory, and then even more free to be me after I embraced relationship anarchy.
I think what I may have in common with transgender people -- I do not consider nonbinary to be transgender, although some people do -- is that I have zero interest in conforming with the gender roles selected for me at birth based on my sex organs. I wasn't interested in having relationships with girls. I'm not interested in either female or male fashion. I don't feel like gender had anything at all to do with my education or career choices, I studied what I wanted to study, and took a career that I wanted to take.
I wouldn't want to transition to a female body, because that seems more complicated to me. Having breasts would just get in the way. If I were somehow genetically female, I wouldn't want to have female reproductive organs because I wouldn't want to have a baby.
I keep my male reproductive organ locked up nowadays anyway. Mainly because I generally feel hornier with it locked up, so sexual activity -- whether solo or with others -- is more fun :o)
Yeah, my gender is basically "whatever is easiest". I don't feel like I have a gender, that's why after I learned enough about the nonbinary identity I embraced it, but embracing it didn't change a goddess damned thing either. I think I was already nonbinary, just didn't know the word for it.
Just like I was already gay when I was a kid, before I learned what it meant, before I had a role model. I was simply more attracted to guys, because guys seemed less complicated. There were probably other reasons also, perhaps many reasons both conscious and unconscious, perhaps some are genetic in origin.
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Well, it's a great documentary, I recommend it to everybody given the salience of transgender issues in our politics, in our schools, in our workplaces, in our families. I think it is well done except for the exclusive focus on affluent families. It leaves me wanting to know how kids living in poverty handle gender identity issues.
I think this is an excellent documentary, although it raises some questions that it cannot answer, and it provokes me to ask additional questions it doesn't answer.
Clearly, some people are driven to adopt a gender different from the one that society planned for them based on their sex organs at birth. And I'm 100% in favor of each person choosing their own gender, or choosing to have no gender at all, regardless of how old they are.
The details can get tricky, however. For receiving medication as a minor, there are a lot of issues regarding which effects of these medications will be permanent and which will be reversible. There are issues of insurance coverage and cost. There are issues with parental consent. There are issues with state law. There are issues with how the minor will be treated at school by teachers, coaches, and classmates.
If you are adult, many of these issues are similar or the same, except that you no longer need parental consent to receive medication or surgery. There are still a lot of issues, plus add in issues with employment, dating, and having/raising children.
-----
I never felt driven to become a girl or a woman. For me, adopting a nonbinary identity is perhaps more of a political statement than a statement of social nonconformity -- because just about anybody would classify me as "male" upon first sight as well as after getting to know me. But I do have sex with other males, which is definitely a form of gender nonconformity. And I've never in my life made a big deal about acting masculine instead of feminine, instead I'm me, wherever that me falls upon the so-called continuum between feminine & masculine.
I think this continuum is bullshit, that both genders are arbitrary constructions. But if somebody finds they prefer one gender to the other, I'm not going to forbid them from expressing whichever gender they prefer.
Watching the kids in this documentary, they found themselves living in a world of boys and girls, and they each wanted to be a boy or a girl, but they were born "in the wrong body". One of them said the absolute worst would be to look and act like you were in between a boy and a girl, that would get you picked on the most. Yes, picked on. There's so much societal pressure to be either a boy or a girl, that most people feel compelled to be one or the other. To me, both of these options are bullshit. But I understand the pressure, and I conform in a lot of ways without paying much attention to it. Yeah, I buy men's clothing. I get men's haircuts. Yeah, whatever. But usually because I feel the men's options are simpler. I just don't want to bother with stuff like hairstyles or makeup or shaving my legs. I don't even want to bother with shaving my face, so I have a beard. I don't want to bother with painting my nails.
My gender is basically "whatever is easiest". And I think that's why I'm attracted to guys, because it feels easier to have relationships within the same gender region. I don't have to worry about pregnancy. When I was younger, I didn't have to worry about marriage or children.
You might think that polyamory or relationship anarchy is more difficult than monogamy, so why am I not monogamous? But I don't feel that way. I feel that monogamy was a lot more work, I felt way more free to be me after I embraced polyamory, and then even more free to be me after I embraced relationship anarchy.
I think what I may have in common with transgender people -- I do not consider nonbinary to be transgender, although some people do -- is that I have zero interest in conforming with the gender roles selected for me at birth based on my sex organs. I wasn't interested in having relationships with girls. I'm not interested in either female or male fashion. I don't feel like gender had anything at all to do with my education or career choices, I studied what I wanted to study, and took a career that I wanted to take.
I wouldn't want to transition to a female body, because that seems more complicated to me. Having breasts would just get in the way. If I were somehow genetically female, I wouldn't want to have female reproductive organs because I wouldn't want to have a baby.
I keep my male reproductive organ locked up nowadays anyway. Mainly because I generally feel hornier with it locked up, so sexual activity -- whether solo or with others -- is more fun :o)
Yeah, my gender is basically "whatever is easiest". I don't feel like I have a gender, that's why after I learned enough about the nonbinary identity I embraced it, but embracing it didn't change a goddess damned thing either. I think I was already nonbinary, just didn't know the word for it.
Just like I was already gay when I was a kid, before I learned what it meant, before I had a role model. I was simply more attracted to guys, because guys seemed less complicated. There were probably other reasons also, perhaps many reasons both conscious and unconscious, perhaps some are genetic in origin.
-----
Well, it's a great documentary, I recommend it to everybody given the salience of transgender issues in our politics, in our schools, in our workplaces, in our families. I think it is well done except for the exclusive focus on affluent families. It leaves me wanting to know how kids living in poverty handle gender identity issues.