posting this part again, in public view instead of friends only
There are nights during the year when, if you're prone to feeling lonely, it feels worse. I can feel that on Valentine's Day, I can feel that on New Year's Eve. And with a pandemic overlay, it can feel even worse.
[I felt pretty darn lonely that Friday night in Chicago when I got stood up by an old ex. Not calendar related, but harsh.]
I used to throw a Single's Party every Valentine's Day when I was single, I'd invite all my other single friends to hang out. Different numbers of them would show up. We didn't have to sit at home by ourselves!
But with this pandemic, I do, and some of you do, and that's OK. But if it's not feeling OK for you, I get that. It's winter, it's cold, it's dark, and the couples are all coupling. But there's value in being yourself and pursuing your own interests and loving yourself. You've got to love yourself. And that kind of love is a decision, not a feeling. It's a commitment, choosing to love yourself, choosing to treat yourself well, creating a relationship with yourself in which you love yourself, support yourself, give to yourself, listen to yourself, create a safe space for yourself to say and feel and listen. You're OK, you're going to be OK, and you won't always be alone. But it's OK to feel lonely too. Feeling lonely is part of what makes us human, is part of what we all have in common, eight billion of us feeling lonely, not all at the same time, but we've all been there, and will be there again.
That's what I find in loneliness -- that loneliness is universal. You can learn about what it is like to be other people, from being alone with yourself.
Maybe after I retire I'll volunteer with a mental distress help line on Valentine's Day. It sucks to feel lonely. But there should always be another person ready to pick up the phone, if that's what you really need.
I was thinking today -- not because I was in distress -- but because this is a day on which so many people can feel distress -- why did I not, the last time I was distressed -- when I was feeling lonely in Chicago -- why didn't I call somebody on the phone?
Even if all I could do was leave them a message.
One thing I'm blessed by at this stage of my life is that there's probably a lot of people who if I called them while in distress, they'd eventually call me back and offer to help. A sort of invisible safety net. Even some people I haven't spoken to in years. Do they feel the same way about me?
If you're in distress, give somebody a call. I'll try to remember this advice myself next time.
[I felt pretty darn lonely that Friday night in Chicago when I got stood up by an old ex. Not calendar related, but harsh.]
I used to throw a Single's Party every Valentine's Day when I was single, I'd invite all my other single friends to hang out. Different numbers of them would show up. We didn't have to sit at home by ourselves!
But with this pandemic, I do, and some of you do, and that's OK. But if it's not feeling OK for you, I get that. It's winter, it's cold, it's dark, and the couples are all coupling. But there's value in being yourself and pursuing your own interests and loving yourself. You've got to love yourself. And that kind of love is a decision, not a feeling. It's a commitment, choosing to love yourself, choosing to treat yourself well, creating a relationship with yourself in which you love yourself, support yourself, give to yourself, listen to yourself, create a safe space for yourself to say and feel and listen. You're OK, you're going to be OK, and you won't always be alone. But it's OK to feel lonely too. Feeling lonely is part of what makes us human, is part of what we all have in common, eight billion of us feeling lonely, not all at the same time, but we've all been there, and will be there again.
That's what I find in loneliness -- that loneliness is universal. You can learn about what it is like to be other people, from being alone with yourself.
Maybe after I retire I'll volunteer with a mental distress help line on Valentine's Day. It sucks to feel lonely. But there should always be another person ready to pick up the phone, if that's what you really need.
I was thinking today -- not because I was in distress -- but because this is a day on which so many people can feel distress -- why did I not, the last time I was distressed -- when I was feeling lonely in Chicago -- why didn't I call somebody on the phone?
Even if all I could do was leave them a message.
One thing I'm blessed by at this stage of my life is that there's probably a lot of people who if I called them while in distress, they'd eventually call me back and offer to help. A sort of invisible safety net. Even some people I haven't spoken to in years. Do they feel the same way about me?
If you're in distress, give somebody a call. I'll try to remember this advice myself next time.