Home Alone :-)
T left very early this morning, earlier than I expected. I still needed to work a half day, so that's what I did. Stopped working at 2pm, started warming up for toys 2:45pm. Nothing on the Bug Calendar until Sunday afternoon! Yay!
For some reason T left his new laptop behind, which has an account for me from when my laptop was "sleeping", so I'm using that to type this while my other laptops are busy showing porn :o)
I created an account at a poetry site, and posted two of my favorite poems there, along with the one I wrote this morning. I already have two followers! I've had multiple people who are close to me in real life ask me to write more poetry, but I feel like it's not something I can produce on demand, but maybe that's just a confidence thing, maybe if I worked at it instead of occasionally pissing it out on the page after a long period of pent up poetry piss ...
I once described poetry as prose with most of the words deleted, but there's more to it than that, and so many different ways of doing poetry. But working on poetry more may lead me into writing lyrics and then putting together music with vocals ... so, more angles on this very slow project that is nevertheless moving forward -- my concept album. I know the title of the album, the names of the songs, it's top-down in this way, but also bottom-up in that I'm going to grow my songs into the concepts instead of growing the concepts into the songs. Can I apply the role-play method I use to write stories to writing music? How would that work?
27 days since orgasm, feels like longer? Tomorrow I may draw another card, and I probably will. If I'm still awake at midnight I may draw it then. I can't expect anything to come of this draw, my expected date of next orgasm is in February now? I haven't been horny much lately because of my overall life confidence issues since my annual review last Friday, but my mood has been improving. I've done some good work this week, although my Boss can't see it, so much of what I do is stuff he'll never know about. I did some top-level negotiating with representatives of a major multinational corporate acquisition valued at tens of billions of US dollars this morning. Not to "brag" but to build up my self-confidence, that I have wonderful attorneys working for me, who can brief me up in 30 minutes, and then I can go toe-to-toe with major multinational corporations.
Sometimes T says I should go work for those multinational corporations and increase my salary by several times. But instead I daydream about becoming a union organizer on my way to becoming a neo-gatherer heh.
I wouldn't have any money problems if I weren't in a nesting relationship with T -- I didn't have money problems before I bought this house with him. I don't need more money, I need the streams of money that I do have to be predictable, which has always been the issue with T -- eventually I get the cash, but the timing can drive me nuts, because our personalities are different along the money dimension. And I need to stop living in this money pit of a house, which, yeah, by retirement time the plan is to have a much less expensive dwelling.
Part of me wants to move back to Racine, the city I was born in, after retirement. It's one of the most affordable places to live in the US. Because there's no reason for college graduates to live there, heh. I think about living there for a year to write a book and create an album and volunteer with some sort of political cause. Heh, we'll see. For now, I'm just trying to not go crazy while waiting for this Quarantine to end.
For some reason T left his new laptop behind, which has an account for me from when my laptop was "sleeping", so I'm using that to type this while my other laptops are busy showing porn :o)
I created an account at a poetry site, and posted two of my favorite poems there, along with the one I wrote this morning. I already have two followers! I've had multiple people who are close to me in real life ask me to write more poetry, but I feel like it's not something I can produce on demand, but maybe that's just a confidence thing, maybe if I worked at it instead of occasionally pissing it out on the page after a long period of pent up poetry piss ...
I once described poetry as prose with most of the words deleted, but there's more to it than that, and so many different ways of doing poetry. But working on poetry more may lead me into writing lyrics and then putting together music with vocals ... so, more angles on this very slow project that is nevertheless moving forward -- my concept album. I know the title of the album, the names of the songs, it's top-down in this way, but also bottom-up in that I'm going to grow my songs into the concepts instead of growing the concepts into the songs. Can I apply the role-play method I use to write stories to writing music? How would that work?
27 days since orgasm, feels like longer? Tomorrow I may draw another card, and I probably will. If I'm still awake at midnight I may draw it then. I can't expect anything to come of this draw, my expected date of next orgasm is in February now? I haven't been horny much lately because of my overall life confidence issues since my annual review last Friday, but my mood has been improving. I've done some good work this week, although my Boss can't see it, so much of what I do is stuff he'll never know about. I did some top-level negotiating with representatives of a major multinational corporate acquisition valued at tens of billions of US dollars this morning. Not to "brag" but to build up my self-confidence, that I have wonderful attorneys working for me, who can brief me up in 30 minutes, and then I can go toe-to-toe with major multinational corporations.
Sometimes T says I should go work for those multinational corporations and increase my salary by several times. But instead I daydream about becoming a union organizer on my way to becoming a neo-gatherer heh.
I wouldn't have any money problems if I weren't in a nesting relationship with T -- I didn't have money problems before I bought this house with him. I don't need more money, I need the streams of money that I do have to be predictable, which has always been the issue with T -- eventually I get the cash, but the timing can drive me nuts, because our personalities are different along the money dimension. And I need to stop living in this money pit of a house, which, yeah, by retirement time the plan is to have a much less expensive dwelling.
Part of me wants to move back to Racine, the city I was born in, after retirement. It's one of the most affordable places to live in the US. Because there's no reason for college graduates to live there, heh. I think about living there for a year to write a book and create an album and volunteer with some sort of political cause. Heh, we'll see. For now, I'm just trying to not go crazy while waiting for this Quarantine to end.