Condom Wars
One of the rationalizations I'm seeing from guys who want to stop using condoms after starting Prep is:
"You can get STDs from oral sex too and nobody uses condoms for oral sex."
Yes, you can get STDs from oral sex. And some people do use condoms for oral sex, although they are the minority.
But the risk of getting an STD from oral sex is an order of magnitude lower than the risk of getting an STD from anal sex. Anal sex is much rougher on the tissues than oral sex, people are much more likely to bleed from anal sex than from oral sex. Also, saliva contains digestive enzymes that help to break down bacteria and viruses. Also, if you swallow the fluids you swap during oral sex, the acids in your stomach help to break down bacteria and viruses. There are no digestive enzymes or acids inside your anus.
Saliva and stomach acids are not bullet proof. They just reduce the risk. Ditto for using condoms during anal sex. They just reduce the risk. And ditto for Prep -- as I've written about before, there are cases of people catching HIV while on Prep, and a big problem with Prep is that you have to take it EVERY DAY for it to work. Many people forget to take their pills, or they temporarily run out of pills. So, in practice, on average, Prep reduces the risk of catching HIV by about 50%. Good, but not perfect.
Some people did get HIV from oral sex, back in the day. But the risk of getting HIV from anal sex was much higher.
It's all about risk reduction. Limit your sexual partners. Know your sexual partners. Get tested regularly. Use condoms for anal sex.
Prep can reduce your risk also, definitely. But what I'm struggling with is that most of the gay guys I meet think that if you're on Prep you can do without condoms even with multiple partners. When I weigh the risk reduction from Prep, against the risk reduction from condoms, if I can only choose one I think I'd rather stick with condoms.
I could go on Prep and then lie about it, that would add another layer of risk reduction. Hmmm. But I really don't want to lie to my sex partners. Instead, I'm using the willingness to use condoms as an IQ test to screen my partners for risk. It's great that you are on Prep, but you still have to be willing to use a condom with me, or we aren't playing.
"You can get STDs from oral sex too and nobody uses condoms for oral sex."
Yes, you can get STDs from oral sex. And some people do use condoms for oral sex, although they are the minority.
But the risk of getting an STD from oral sex is an order of magnitude lower than the risk of getting an STD from anal sex. Anal sex is much rougher on the tissues than oral sex, people are much more likely to bleed from anal sex than from oral sex. Also, saliva contains digestive enzymes that help to break down bacteria and viruses. Also, if you swallow the fluids you swap during oral sex, the acids in your stomach help to break down bacteria and viruses. There are no digestive enzymes or acids inside your anus.
Saliva and stomach acids are not bullet proof. They just reduce the risk. Ditto for using condoms during anal sex. They just reduce the risk. And ditto for Prep -- as I've written about before, there are cases of people catching HIV while on Prep, and a big problem with Prep is that you have to take it EVERY DAY for it to work. Many people forget to take their pills, or they temporarily run out of pills. So, in practice, on average, Prep reduces the risk of catching HIV by about 50%. Good, but not perfect.
Some people did get HIV from oral sex, back in the day. But the risk of getting HIV from anal sex was much higher.
It's all about risk reduction. Limit your sexual partners. Know your sexual partners. Get tested regularly. Use condoms for anal sex.
Prep can reduce your risk also, definitely. But what I'm struggling with is that most of the gay guys I meet think that if you're on Prep you can do without condoms even with multiple partners. When I weigh the risk reduction from Prep, against the risk reduction from condoms, if I can only choose one I think I'd rather stick with condoms.
I could go on Prep and then lie about it, that would add another layer of risk reduction. Hmmm. But I really don't want to lie to my sex partners. Instead, I'm using the willingness to use condoms as an IQ test to screen my partners for risk. It's great that you are on Prep, but you still have to be willing to use a condom with me, or we aren't playing.