Hate and Tears
At this point all I want is for the drama to end. Cause when you wake up and feel like crying for three days in a row because the person you thought was your best friend hates you theres nothing esle you think about. I can't stand her hating me. I used to think that as long as I had her that everything would be ok. She made me feel safe. She'd always try and be there for me and now she hates me. What am I suppose to do? Is there anything to do? She didn't tell me things that made her mad. I have no idea I was hurting her until she snapped. What am I suppose to do? Cause right about now I want to crawl into a hole and die. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I just can't stand the thought of her hating me. Chris tried to help by taking me away from the situtation that only ended up in it being another reason for her to be mad at me. I can't seem to make her happy. Every time I try I mess up. She's the person who gets me through things. She was my best friend for a long time. I'm compleltly lost without her. I've talked to 3 people today and found that the only person I would want to talk to is her. She is the only person that I could ever talk to. I just don't know what to do. I think that I could apologize for the rest of my life and it wouldn't fix anything. Why didn't she tell me what was bugging her. Oh one side I want to get mad and bitch about Amy this and Amy that. But it's not about amy. It's about her and I. Amy has no place in between the two of us. I love everything about Kristen. She is one of the few people I would die for. But what does it matter... I can't make her forgive me. She's putting me through more pain than I've ever had from anyone esle. I can't believe this all started over something so stupid. I Don't want it to end because I was acting like an idiot. I don't know what I'm trying to say maybe I'm just not the kind of person that people like her want to hang out with. Maybe I've gotten to the point of no return. Maybe I'm notm worthy of a person like her. She used to make me smile all the time and now she doesn't even want to talk to me or see me. Maybe she'd be better off without me in her life. I must be the most horrible person in the history of friends. What's the point now she hates me...