Expect a silly Christmas Star Trek ficlet soon...
Music pounded in his ears as he watched fools on the dance floor looking stupid and having fun. Spock did not approve of his captains idea of a "kick ass" shore leave.
"Hey, Spock!" There was his captain now, dressed in garshish civilian clothes. "Why aren't you dancing with Uhura? You look like a disgruntled chaperon."
"Where did you get that chocolate bar?"
"Chekov and me took a trip to the convenience store across the street. Want some?"
"No."
Kirk pouted and Spock took note of his glazed over eyes. He wasn't stumblingly drunk, but the half-Vulcan could tell his captain had a few drinks. Probably more than a few.
"You know something, Spock? If I ever need to punish you for something I'm gonna give you candy and comic books because you obviously don't know how to have fun."
"On the contrary, Captain. I am quite enjoying observing the activities of this establishment."
"You don't have to lie about being shy." Kirk was trying to get under Spock's skin and he knew it.
"As I stated before, Captain, fun for me is much more queit and tame than it is for you. Furthermore-" Spock couldn't finish his statement because Kirk had decided to shut him up by stuffing his chocolate bar in the half-Vulcan's mouth. Kirk smirked as his First Officer's eyes widened.
"Captain...do you realize what kind of effect chocolate has on Vulcan's?" Spock clutched the candy bar in his hand. He nervously licked the chocolate off his lips.
"Well, it's a good thing you're only half-Vulcan!" Kirk gave him a hard slap on the back before returning to the dance floor.
Spock swallowed hard. He'd never had chocolate before. What little he'd just had tasted good. He better not eat anymore though. Why is it already half gone?
---
Uhura, Sulu, and Chekov looked at their drinks. Then their eyes simaltaneiously looked out at Spock. He was out on the dance floor, he'd shed off his sweater vest (which was ugly, but nobody said anything because Uhura elbowed Kirk hard in the ribs), and moving his body in such a fluid way that anyone who didn't know him would assume he was a dancing fool.
"Should ve be vorried about Mr. Spock?" Chekov asked.
"I thought alcohol didn't affect Vulcans the same way it affected humans." Sulu pointed out.
"I got him a drink, but that was a couple hours ago." Uhura said.
Out of nowhere Kirk collided with Chekov and nuzzled him. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeey, guuuuuyz."
"Keptain!" Chekov squirmed out of his now completely tanked Captain's arms.
"Kirk," Uhura used her stern Don't Fuck with Me Voice. "Do you know what's wrong with Spock?"
"Wrong? I thought my peptalk got him to loosen up."
"What did you say?"
Kirk seriously thought about that for a moment. "You know, I can't really remember. Something about comic books...then I gave him my candy bar."
"Chocolate?"
"Yeah."
Uhura looked up to find Spock. "Where'd he go?"
Sulu pointed toward the door. "I think he's leaving."
Without another word Uhura jumped up from her seat and bolted across the bar. Chekov and Sulu helped Kirk stumble out of the bar.
"Where are we goin'?"
---
McCoy flipped open his communicator. "Is this the "Party Train"? Kirk for the last time I have too much work to do-"
"Are you mad at me?" Kirk sounded drunk. "Are you mad? Don't be mad, I love you."
"What happened?"
"We need your help finding Spock."
"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a detect-you lost Spock?"
The voice on the other side of the line gained a sudden Russian accent. "Doctor, did you know that Wulcans get drunk on chocolate?"
---
Kirk tried to hide behind Sulu when he saw a recently beamed down Leonard McCoy armed with a Hypo-Spray. The less drunk of the three Star Fleet officers held their flailing Captain down while McCoy shot the spray into Kirk's neck.
"There, that outta sober you up enough to find your First Officer. Anyone else need some?"
McCoy was mildly disapointed when everyone displayed they were sober enough to function.
"Ah, this is worse than a hangover." Kirk held his head in his hands.
"You'd have gotten a headache anyway, but it could've waited if you hadn't lost Spock."
"Everyone else lost him too!"
"And you're the one you gave him chocolate!"
"I was tipsy and it seemed like a good idea at the time."
"Now look where that's got you."
"Guys!" Sulu interupted their banter.
"I lost Spock in a crowd, but he was going down this street." Uhura stated.
"That's wonderfully vague. Don't we have anything to track him with?" McCoy asked.
"No, why do you think we called you to help us?" Kirk was standing up straight now.
"Vhy don't ve split up? Ve'll cower more ground that vay." Chekov said.
---
Spock stumbled into a bathroom stall. He braced himself against the wall and rubbed his stomach comfortingly. His cheeks were flushed green and his eyes refused to focus.
---
"Pointy ears?"
"Yeah, he's a Vulcan. Have you seen anyone like that?" Sulu asked hopefully.
The bubble gum pink haired girl raked her memory. "I don't...wait...I think I saw him with some Fluffy chasers."
"With who?"
"You know the band Fluffy? They don't schedule shows like other bands, they drop in cities at random and have surprise concerts. They're supposedly in town, but they're not playing until really late."
"Okay, thanks."
Sulu went to find Chekov who was trying very hard to not confuse people with his accent.
---
"Fluffy?" Uhura asked.
"What kind of band calls themselves Fluffy?" McCoy wondered out loud.
"Chekov and I are going to try to find where this band is playing. If Spock is with some people trying to find this band chances are they'll drag him to the concert." Sulu said.
"How the hell do we find them?" Kirk asked.
"Ze girl zed that their mascot is a pink bunny. People vill paint this bunny in random places with clues." Chekov interjected.
"If that doesn't work try finding a radio. This band is pretty popular so Radio DJ's probably have a better idea of how to find Fluffy."
---
"You're down the wrong alley if you're trying to find that faggot ass band." A gruff looking man with a hooded jacket said.
"Hey, we just want to find a bunny and be on our way." Kirk said. He noticed Uhura digging in her bag.
"Now girlie," One of the gruff man's cohorts reached for Uhura. "There ain't no use in calling the police."
Uhura sprayed something at his face and he went down trying out his eyes. The leader of the gang lunged at her, but was intercepted by Kirk. Uhura sprayed his face as well. McCoy had Hypo-Sprayed the third man with a mild sedative. Our heroes took off.
"Uhura, what is that stuff?" Kirk asked.
"Wasp spray. It's cheaper than mace and has a longer range."
"That's ingenious."
"You did say no phasers."
---
Spock felt someone cling to him. They nuzzled his neck and he welcomed the affection. Had he been sober he would've nerve pinched them.
He giggled as he watched someone press their ear to a radio.
---
Sulu wasn't sure how they ended up in someone's apartment or this very comfortable couch, but there he was with Chekov on top of him.
"Hikaru, do ve really have to find Spock right now? Right this second?" Chekov asked as some drunk Fluffy enthusists were listening to the bands music.
"I guess not. Why?"
"Because this has been fun! All things considered of course."
"Yeah, I have to admit this has been pretty fun. Though, being with you is always fun."
"And really? I just vant to snuggle." Chekov nuzzled the crook of Sulu's neck. Their torso's were pressed against each other, their legs hooked, and their laps teasingly close.
"Pavel, when's your birthday?"
"In a few weeks."
"I don't think I can wait that long. This-This is happening NOW."
Chekov chuckled and kissed Sulu full on the mouth. They didn't notice the blip of the communicator.
---
Uhura was hoisted up on McCoy's shoulders.
"I'm a doctor, not a step ladder."
"Oh, hush up. He's got to be here."
Kirk tried calling Sulu and Chekov again. "If this keeps out we'll have three missing officers."
---
Chekov's face was flushed a deep pink as he looked down at Sulu with half lidded eyes. He fidgeted nervously atop of the object of his desire.
Sulu kissed Chekov's nose. "You're so cute."
"Cute? I vas trying to be sexy." Chekov pouted.
"You're that too. Though I don't think we should-Spock!"
"Spock?"
Spock was attempting to sit on them. "Me?"
---
Kirk couldn't help shaking his hips to the music. Fluffy was a pretty good band.
Uhura's communicator blipped and she answered immediately. "Chekov? Sulu? Where are you?!"
"Ve found Spock!"
---
Spock's brow was knitted.
"In all fairness, you should've told me that chocolate made you drunk."
"I am not speaking to you!"
---
Chekov knocked on the door. "Are you naked, Hikaru?"
"No. Come in." Sulu looked up from what he was reading.
"Eh, you never know vhen you get lucky."
Sulu chuckled as his roommate entered. Chekov plopped down on Sulu's bunk and put an ear bud in Sulu's ear.
"What is this?"
"I made us a playlist."
"Why?"
"The music just seemed appropriate."