What can I even say
This summer so far has been amazing and random as fuck and I love it. But I'm scared.
I don't want Jessie to leave, because if she leaves, I don't know who I'm going to hang out with anymore. If you're reading this Jew, sorry I didn't say it to your face but I really am going to miss you. It's definitely going to suck without one of my best friends gone for most of the summer.
Last night/this morning we decided to mob to SFO to see Dominic before he left for Europe. It was probably the sweetest thing I have ever done for anyone, and I felt like a good person. He was so surprised. His face was priceless. The only struggle was getting to the airport at 2-something in the morning and waiting for 2 hours for Dom to even show up. John and me shot the breeze most of the night and talked about things sometimes I wish I don't talk about with other people when I'm on a drug because we were supposed to have a "date" tonight and he hasn't called and his phone is off so it makes me feel like obviously I did something wrong, or he thinks I'm really weird. So fuck that. I don't want to be this upset about something so trivial as getting fucking stood up but it really fucks with you sometimes.
I'm scared that my life is going to change and I'm not sure if I want that. I'm so content in my own loss of touch with reality that it's become the norm to feel unreal. I don't sleep anymore. I'm really scared.
I don't want Jessie to leave, because if she leaves, I don't know who I'm going to hang out with anymore. If you're reading this Jew, sorry I didn't say it to your face but I really am going to miss you. It's definitely going to suck without one of my best friends gone for most of the summer.
Last night/this morning we decided to mob to SFO to see Dominic before he left for Europe. It was probably the sweetest thing I have ever done for anyone, and I felt like a good person. He was so surprised. His face was priceless. The only struggle was getting to the airport at 2-something in the morning and waiting for 2 hours for Dom to even show up. John and me shot the breeze most of the night and talked about things sometimes I wish I don't talk about with other people when I'm on a drug because we were supposed to have a "date" tonight and he hasn't called and his phone is off so it makes me feel like obviously I did something wrong, or he thinks I'm really weird. So fuck that. I don't want to be this upset about something so trivial as getting fucking stood up but it really fucks with you sometimes.
I'm scared that my life is going to change and I'm not sure if I want that. I'm so content in my own loss of touch with reality that it's become the norm to feel unreal. I don't sleep anymore. I'm really scared.