i'm never alone, i'm alone all the time.

[kanoa]

there comes a time when i realize the things that annoy me..continue to annoy me just 4 days into a new year. now one would think..hey if it annoys u..do somethin about it.. right? but i dont. instead, i run circles in my head wondering why i am the way that i am and contemplate on lifes little unfortunates. it always seems to be the same story..and here i am ranting another rant that never seems to change.

so i'm tired. i'm tired of always being the ground somebody walks on. i'm tired of always being the one to wait around 45 extra minutes on people i have to give rides to. i'm tired of feeling used. i'm even more tired of feeling unused. i'm tired of trying to please everyone who makes my list..ok even the ones who dont. i'm tired of saving myself for last. i'm tired of worrying about disappointing others..more importantly, disappointing myself. i'm tired of walking on thin wire. i'm tired of walking on hot coals. i'm tired of the wind always blowing against me. i'm tired of walking up hill both ways. i'm tired of watching my personality fade into others. i'm tired of seeing my true self disappear. i'm tired of being able to determine how people will act and what the evening will turn out like. i'm tired of choosing negatives rather than positives. i'm tired of feeling out of tune with life's song. i'm tired of being out of sync. i'm tired of thinking..of talking..of writing..of everything. i'm tired of knowing 30 minutes after i post this..i'll feel perfectly fine.

i'm tired of being behind the wheel, but letting everyone else drive. my car, my ride, u go when i go, got it? my life, my feelings, u treat me with respect got it? my secrets, my attitudes, u accept what i give, got it? if u have a problem with any of these..or feel u are not able to meet up to my expectations..let me know now..

so i dont waste my time getting to know u.