Orchard of mines [Junsu/Jaejoong]
Title: Orchard of mines
Pairing: Junsu/Jaejoong
Rating: R
Warning: Sex. Religious themes. Profanity. Un-betaed.
Disclaimer: DBSK are not mine. The title comes from a song by Globus.
"Who can say, 'I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin'?"
-Proverbs 20:9
Junsu's neck is sweaty and he pushes hair out of his face impatiently. He starts feeling uncomfortable, clothes are scratching him and becoming damp. He isn't really wearing anything suitable for jogging but right now running is his excuse so he runs.
It's well before sunrise and Junsu feels a bit ridiculous, rushing forward through more anonymous streets of Tokyo. Everyone around is probably either too drunk or sleepy to care. He hopes he still has time before anyone recognizes him as Kim Junsu, before he has to shape his face into a mask of a smile that would be anything but sincere.
He's running and thinking about all the things that could help him. He finds none. He is caged and running away from a person who's driving him crazy by trying to help.
/ 'Junsu, what's wrong? You know you can tell me.' says Jaejoong in that soft voice of his, in that softest version reserved exclusively for best friends. His eyes are warm and Junsu feels like he's drowning in something deep and inexplicable but he doesn't want to stop.
Yet he realizes that he must. So he shakes his head, attempts a smile and retreats elsewhere, anywhere.
.
He tries to talk to God. Junsu knows that He's helped him through thick and thin so he reaches his hands out to be rescued. He is torn between being hopeful (but God told him to love) and resigned (but God never told him to love him). Junsu thinks bitterly that he's been using his free will for all the wrong purposes.
.
Junsu prays. Says that he's sorry and how he can't find strength to stop these feelings. He might not be trying hard enough, though. He is half a step away from eating this apple, and trying to convince himself that it'd be rotten and sour doesn't go anywhere (he can imagine the juice trailing down his throat and making him scream).
Junsu holds on because he is not sure if years of friendship wouldn't be lost because of one wrong step. Sometimes he sees hurt flicker in Jaejoong's eyes and subconsciously feels that Jaejoong wouldn't mind, that he would open, spread out like a map leaving Junsu with nothing but undying hunger to explore.
He keeps his mouth shut nevertheless. He tried praying with a rosary but his fingers feel inexplicably dirty, somewhere under his skin. /
.
Junsu enters the apartment as quietly as he can. Someone probably has noticed his absence but everyone needs time alone so he won't have to lie. A sound of running water comes from the shower and a familiar voice coughs. Just once, but it's enough to make Junsu freeze.
First he tries to occupy his mind with questions - why is Jaejoong up so early? (and what about you?) has anything happened? (I want something to happen, his heart attempts to betray him) why have you sunk so deep into my veins that I recognize every little sound you make?
He gives up praying for a moment. It'd be too dirty, like the way he feels now. The only prayers are now dedicated to images of Jaejoong's wet skin and how his lips probably look apple-red underwater.
Junsu takes little steps until he's standing just outside the bathroom door. He's fighting a lost battle and suddenly his clothes feel too tight, and his throat even tighter.
He gently pushes the door and isn't surprised to find them open. He's been hoping that Jaejoong locked them, just today, but he never does. No one locks the door anymore, they've been living together for too long. Only Junsu's been doing it lately.
Jaejoong turns back, surprised and his skin gleams under the cascade of water. His eyes form a question and Junsu searches for a lie.
'I have to talk to you about something', is not what he tried for, but it escapes his lips.
'I guess it must be important, then.' Jaejoong says and attempts to finish his shower as fast as possible.
Junsu watches as Jaejoong's hands move over his body and his skin starts to blind him. Jaejoong's neck arches and Junsu does the same thing involuntarily. Jaejoong looks like a painting but his colours are warm. Junsu imagines his palms against the other man's shoulder blades.
It lasts perhaps twenty seconds but Junsu could argue that it's a lifetime in hell.
God, please help me, please help me now because I can't help myself anymore
Jaejoong casts a curious glance over his shoulder to where Junsu is glued to the floor. He wants to ask again but it's too late for that. His lips are red from hot water and burn even more when Junsu kisses him desperately. He isn't even given a chance to utter a word. Junsu grabs the back of his head, and pulls him along, reaching his hand to lock the door. Then he moves forward again and suddenly Jaejoong is against the wall and Junsu probably half-chokes him with his tongue. He doesn't care if it's not a good kiss as long as it takes him as deep into Jaejoong as it's possible.
Jaejoong kisses back and moans in the back of his throat. Junsu wonders what he's doing as he fumbles with his trousers, but last coherent thought escapes him when he kicks them off and his cock bumps against Jaejoong's. This is the last chance to stop, he thinks, but that's a lie too. There has never been any chance to stop to begin with.
He curls his hand around Jaejoong's cock and continues kissing him. They are short of breath but refuse to separate anyway. Something dies in him when Jaejoong reaches out his hand as well but nothing has ever felt better. He's dying but he's also being reborn, drawing the first breath of his new life right out of Jaejoong's mouth.
They go on under the streams of water, droplets flying in every direction. Wet shirt is clinging to Junsu's chest but he can't break himself away from Jaejoong, from making him sound crazy with need. Jaejoong withdraws his lips for a second, just long enough to inhale deeply and with a strangled moan he plunges into another kiss.
Junsu hears Jaejoong's back hitting the wall and he wonders if it will leave any bruises. Jaejoong's nails dig into his skin and somehow it gets all the more violent. Junsu feels dizzy with this crazy speed of want and pumps his hand faster. Jaejoong bites on his lip and comes, squeezing his palm around Junsu's cock. Junsu doesn't look down to see his own release on Jaejoong's hand, water will wash it away.
Their breathing is still uneven when they face each other and Jaejoong looks apologetic. Junsu tries to feel guilty but he can't, it'll probably come later.
'This was...' Jaejoong starts, not a question and not a statement, but Junsu silences him with a kiss.
'It happened.' he says simply.
Junsu feels that he's strayed quite far from the God's paradise and walked into another one. He can't tell if this one looks pretty because the devil made it that way but Jaejoong's voice sounds sweet and there is no way it could be false.
Junsu looks at Jaejoong's face and his eyes narrow a bit, as if he were holding back the tears. Jaejoong touches Junsu's cheek and drops little kisses over his eyes until Junsu buries his face in Jaejoong's neck and holds him. Their grip on each other is strong enough to be painful but they cling on nevertheless, because there is a long path ahead of them and they will need strength,
'God knows we will need it,' Junsu whispers and Jaejoong takes his shirt off as they let their lips meet again.
Make a man’s will a prisoner and he is a captive indeed.
This is what good girls do at 5 a.m. in the morning!
Pairing: Junsu/Jaejoong
Rating: R
Warning: Sex. Religious themes. Profanity. Un-betaed.
Disclaimer: DBSK are not mine. The title comes from a song by Globus.
"Who can say, 'I have kept my heart pure; I am clean and without sin'?"
-Proverbs 20:9
Junsu's neck is sweaty and he pushes hair out of his face impatiently. He starts feeling uncomfortable, clothes are scratching him and becoming damp. He isn't really wearing anything suitable for jogging but right now running is his excuse so he runs.
It's well before sunrise and Junsu feels a bit ridiculous, rushing forward through more anonymous streets of Tokyo. Everyone around is probably either too drunk or sleepy to care. He hopes he still has time before anyone recognizes him as Kim Junsu, before he has to shape his face into a mask of a smile that would be anything but sincere.
He's running and thinking about all the things that could help him. He finds none. He is caged and running away from a person who's driving him crazy by trying to help.
/ 'Junsu, what's wrong? You know you can tell me.' says Jaejoong in that soft voice of his, in that softest version reserved exclusively for best friends. His eyes are warm and Junsu feels like he's drowning in something deep and inexplicable but he doesn't want to stop.
Yet he realizes that he must. So he shakes his head, attempts a smile and retreats elsewhere, anywhere.
.
He tries to talk to God. Junsu knows that He's helped him through thick and thin so he reaches his hands out to be rescued. He is torn between being hopeful (but God told him to love) and resigned (but God never told him to love him). Junsu thinks bitterly that he's been using his free will for all the wrong purposes.
.
Junsu prays. Says that he's sorry and how he can't find strength to stop these feelings. He might not be trying hard enough, though. He is half a step away from eating this apple, and trying to convince himself that it'd be rotten and sour doesn't go anywhere (he can imagine the juice trailing down his throat and making him scream).
Junsu holds on because he is not sure if years of friendship wouldn't be lost because of one wrong step. Sometimes he sees hurt flicker in Jaejoong's eyes and subconsciously feels that Jaejoong wouldn't mind, that he would open, spread out like a map leaving Junsu with nothing but undying hunger to explore.
He keeps his mouth shut nevertheless. He tried praying with a rosary but his fingers feel inexplicably dirty, somewhere under his skin. /
.
Junsu enters the apartment as quietly as he can. Someone probably has noticed his absence but everyone needs time alone so he won't have to lie. A sound of running water comes from the shower and a familiar voice coughs. Just once, but it's enough to make Junsu freeze.
First he tries to occupy his mind with questions - why is Jaejoong up so early? (and what about you?) has anything happened? (I want something to happen, his heart attempts to betray him) why have you sunk so deep into my veins that I recognize every little sound you make?
He gives up praying for a moment. It'd be too dirty, like the way he feels now. The only prayers are now dedicated to images of Jaejoong's wet skin and how his lips probably look apple-red underwater.
Junsu takes little steps until he's standing just outside the bathroom door. He's fighting a lost battle and suddenly his clothes feel too tight, and his throat even tighter.
He gently pushes the door and isn't surprised to find them open. He's been hoping that Jaejoong locked them, just today, but he never does. No one locks the door anymore, they've been living together for too long. Only Junsu's been doing it lately.
Jaejoong turns back, surprised and his skin gleams under the cascade of water. His eyes form a question and Junsu searches for a lie.
'I have to talk to you about something', is not what he tried for, but it escapes his lips.
'I guess it must be important, then.' Jaejoong says and attempts to finish his shower as fast as possible.
Junsu watches as Jaejoong's hands move over his body and his skin starts to blind him. Jaejoong's neck arches and Junsu does the same thing involuntarily. Jaejoong looks like a painting but his colours are warm. Junsu imagines his palms against the other man's shoulder blades.
It lasts perhaps twenty seconds but Junsu could argue that it's a lifetime in hell.
God, please help me, please help me now because I can't help myself anymore
Jaejoong casts a curious glance over his shoulder to where Junsu is glued to the floor. He wants to ask again but it's too late for that. His lips are red from hot water and burn even more when Junsu kisses him desperately. He isn't even given a chance to utter a word. Junsu grabs the back of his head, and pulls him along, reaching his hand to lock the door. Then he moves forward again and suddenly Jaejoong is against the wall and Junsu probably half-chokes him with his tongue. He doesn't care if it's not a good kiss as long as it takes him as deep into Jaejoong as it's possible.
Jaejoong kisses back and moans in the back of his throat. Junsu wonders what he's doing as he fumbles with his trousers, but last coherent thought escapes him when he kicks them off and his cock bumps against Jaejoong's. This is the last chance to stop, he thinks, but that's a lie too. There has never been any chance to stop to begin with.
He curls his hand around Jaejoong's cock and continues kissing him. They are short of breath but refuse to separate anyway. Something dies in him when Jaejoong reaches out his hand as well but nothing has ever felt better. He's dying but he's also being reborn, drawing the first breath of his new life right out of Jaejoong's mouth.
They go on under the streams of water, droplets flying in every direction. Wet shirt is clinging to Junsu's chest but he can't break himself away from Jaejoong, from making him sound crazy with need. Jaejoong withdraws his lips for a second, just long enough to inhale deeply and with a strangled moan he plunges into another kiss.
Junsu hears Jaejoong's back hitting the wall and he wonders if it will leave any bruises. Jaejoong's nails dig into his skin and somehow it gets all the more violent. Junsu feels dizzy with this crazy speed of want and pumps his hand faster. Jaejoong bites on his lip and comes, squeezing his palm around Junsu's cock. Junsu doesn't look down to see his own release on Jaejoong's hand, water will wash it away.
Their breathing is still uneven when they face each other and Jaejoong looks apologetic. Junsu tries to feel guilty but he can't, it'll probably come later.
'This was...' Jaejoong starts, not a question and not a statement, but Junsu silences him with a kiss.
'It happened.' he says simply.
Junsu feels that he's strayed quite far from the God's paradise and walked into another one. He can't tell if this one looks pretty because the devil made it that way but Jaejoong's voice sounds sweet and there is no way it could be false.
Junsu looks at Jaejoong's face and his eyes narrow a bit, as if he were holding back the tears. Jaejoong touches Junsu's cheek and drops little kisses over his eyes until Junsu buries his face in Jaejoong's neck and holds him. Their grip on each other is strong enough to be painful but they cling on nevertheless, because there is a long path ahead of them and they will need strength,
'God knows we will need it,' Junsu whispers and Jaejoong takes his shirt off as they let their lips meet again.
Make a man’s will a prisoner and he is a captive indeed.
This is what good girls do at 5 a.m. in the morning!