[ closed log ] Week Ten, Day Seven [ no matter what i do ]

[sakurabito]

Who: Kuchiki Hisana ( hisana_kuchiki ) and Kuchiki Byakuya ( sakurabito )
Status: Closed
Style: Prose
When: Week Ten, Day Seven, after this.
Where: Himorogi
Rating: PG
Warnings: Reuniting with his dead wife. This oozes angst.

Comments

<3!

[sakurabito]

"Then I shall explain." Or, he would try to, in the best way he could.

"They call themselves gods and choose what they believe we must accomplish here." Humility. That pride is the source of sorrow. That they are nothing but mere insects to be played with and they should be humbled by such an experience. Such arrogant creatures. "It is nothing for them to play games with us." He was quite certain thrusting a bunch of kids on him and the few adults remaining taught him nothing. And that humiliating confession caught on video...

... but he did hesitate on one thing. Telling her could have adverse effects, ones he was not sure would be appropriately handled. She needed her rest and he feared she might do what he had done in the past, what many others had probably tried to do. He watched her, fought with it and the silence for some time. Her health was most important to him. Not telling her, however, seemed like just as terrible of a decision.

"The Hitomi records many things. Things such as your message and other things. Things you don't wish for someone else to see."

<3333

[hisana_kuchiki]

"...What sort of games?" Hisana asked after a moment, pausing to look up at him, her expression questioning. The idea of being held at the whim of so-called gods did disturb her, but they had also given her the opportunity to be reunited with both her husband and her long-lost sister. Hisana listened quietly as he continued speaking before she asked another question.

"...It records whether you want it to or not? Is there a way to keep this from happening?"

\o/ <333

[sakurabito]

"..." How did one explain such a thing without making himself look horribly used? It was a nearly impossible task, really. "They manipulate our will, our bodies, even our dreams. It is a world made to play on your emotions. Your insecurities." And the worst part wasn't that he couldn't stop it, that he couldn't preserve what he was and should be. It was that he could no longer protect Hisana from it, from the visions that would undoubtedly be recorded from each and every person, things that were engraved in minds and would likely never leave. Embarrassments recorded. Feelings displayed.

"We can stop it no more than we can leave of our own volition." Because there doesn't seem to be a pattern... "It is likely they focus on those who cause trouble, if their wish for 'harmony' can be trusted." Which he cannot be sure of.

Re: \o/ <333

[hisana_kuchiki]

"And they do this to every resident here?" Hisana's voice was quiet, a faint note of concern tinging her words as she spoke. "I can see why you would warn me of such things then. There are things that should only be shared with those you trust, after all."

Her fingers curled into a fist at her side almost unconsciously. "And there's no way to stop it from happening at all?"

[sakurabito]

"None are immune." Not him. Not her. Not those who were innocent and had done no wrong, nor those who killed and caused trouble. Unless he had simply not found a way... "They care not about such things. They would much rather humiliate us than to accept there are ways they do not understand." And they were carefully spoken, lacking inflection, but they were words of a rather angry noble who did not much like coming here to begin with.

"Some have avoided most of it. I suspect 'model citizens' should be less likely to receive these embarrassments. You should have very little issue with them." It was sincere. Hisana would never cause trouble and he had managed to minimize his exposure to these things. It was proof enough that such 'punishments' could be avoided, for the most part, anyway. "Put your mind at ease."

[hisana_kuchiki]

"...I am sorry they have made things difficult for you, Byakuya-sama." Hisana read past his words easily and then tilted her head to look up at him for a moment. "But I will try to help in any way I can, now that I am here."

The rest of the information was filed away before she reached over, almost tentatively placing a hand on his sleeve. "Is there anything else I will need to know to expect here?"

[sakurabito]

"No, it is not your concern."

'Help'. Help how? Was she simply another ghost sent here to set him on the path of 'learning his lesson'? It might have seemed paranoid, but he's seen what they do, seen what they apparently think they can do. It just so happens that they chose to concentrate on what could, perhaps, be considered a neutral party. Giving him his desires, forcing him to accept another dream... these thoughts were still not far from his mind, even if it seemed as if he'd accepted her. He wouldn't be sure, not for some time, if this was real.

"... no." There were. There were so many things he knew he should tell her, but could not. The things that happened here were a concern, yes, but they did not have to be hers. The things he worked for, the people she needed to be wary of, the dreams and feelings people would undoubtedly cross... he did not wish to worry her with these things, not if he did not have to. That was far more important than the need to give a full report. "You will see them for yourself."

No explanation he could give is enough to prepare her, or anyone else or anything she could experience. And all else he will protect her from. Again, that pressure on his sleeve, and he was reminded her presence, still so warm and inviting, could still get to him, no matter how he tried to distance himself. "Are you feeling all right, Hisana?"

[hisana_kuchiki]

"...How is it not my concern?" She stopped walking for a moment and looked up at him, her hand dropping back to her side before she turned to walk ahead of him. Her footsteps stopped again at his question and she was still for a moment before turning to look at him.

"I'm perfectly well, Byakuya-sama." The reply was automatic and her expression was neutral for a moment before she spoke again. "I've told you that how many times since you arrived to collect me and nothing has changed since then, aside from the fact you keep deflecting my concerns and questions as if I'm not even allowed to worry about you." Her voice was calm as she spoke, although there was an almost imperceptible edge to her words.

[sakurabito]

"Hisana..." Her words did not need an angry fire to fuel them. It never did take much for her words to strike him and his steps to stop this time, his usually level gaze unable to directly meet her own. It was like being scolded, and Byakuya could think about the ways that her words could have been considered disrespectful, even if they did not sound that way. Even if he wanted to, he found he could not.

Hisana was still the Hisana from his memories, gentle and kind, with a distant look in her eyes, yet still so strong and fierce, in a way different from Rukia. Even after fifty years, she still fit until the exact same picture. And he couldn't explain why he did not fit her memories. He could not tell her that the push over the cliff had been her last breath. It wasn't her fault and he never wanted her to think that way. It was his own fault. His alone.

"You needn't worry about me," he answered. "I am fine. But if I have not answered your questions to your satisfaction, you may ask again."