[log] house of incest

[behindhiseyes]

Who: Uchiha Itachi (behindhiseyes) and Uchiha Sasuke (a_for_tiori)
Status: Closed
Style: Action, Present
Where: Hisato, where Itachi and Sasuke are staying
When: Week 6, Day 1. Following this conversation. It's a continuation thereof.
Rating: PG, PG-13-ish?
Warnings: BROTHERS KISSING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED OBLAARGAG. Also, general douchebaggery. Sasuke.

Comments

[a_for_tiori]

[It is an effort, to maintain eye contact.

Reflexively, he wishes to look away. To hide himself again. It is like holding one's hand on a hot stove - once the pain starts, the urge to pull away takes over. Sasuke opened himself, left himself vulnerable. And was met with anger. With displeasure. With disgust. And it does hurt. It burns, to be regarded that way, with that cold dislike, when he still, despite everything, aches for approval.

And he wishes to pull himself away. Every minute he holds himself there, it grows worse. The sickened feeling. The curling in on himself, internally. The screaming urgent need to cover his hurt, to protect himself. To withdraw from the source of pain and humiliation. He might walk away and never speak of this again. It would eat at him, but it would fade in time, at least, and grow dull.

An old wound among a thousand others.

It might eventually be forgotten, if he would just close himself again. Defend himself, as he has been trained to, first with the memorization of rules (25. a shinobi must never show tears) and later through the accumulation of horrors, which instructed him in the art of straight-facedness.

He might forget this night ever happened, if he could cut Itachi off.

Ah, if he could -]

It is what it is.

[In place of the thing he cannot say - it was only a dream. It was a dream, and it never happened. But Sasuke cannot say that it couldn't happen. That, given the right set of circumstances, it might not have occured precisely like that. Nor that anything of his thoughts, his feelings, the sensation and such were false. They were simulated, but not fake. Merely real sensation placed into a false situation.

No, those were - he tenses a little, not quite to shiver - real.]

You don't have any place to talk. You - you had that dream. And afterwards. [A flare of anger, unexpectedly. The jealousy that he had held back and thought forgotten. The posessiveness that he thought he could rationalize, talk himself out of. You ran off with some random stranger. Who could have been anyone, who could have wanted - you don't have any fucking idea what he might have really wanted.

He does not say this. Swallows it.]

So.

[But Itachi knows this. Obviously. Itachi is no fool. It's not the sex. There are people who are disgusted by sex. Embarassed by it. Sasuke, not so long ago, found it... well. He is not sure entirely what he found it. But he would squirm to hear people talk of it, and preferred not to listen. But Itachi - there was none of Mother's embarassment or hushed mortification with Itachi. No.

No, it is not the sex, Sasuke thinks.]

What is it, then. That makes it vile.