Week 1 Day 1 [ Dream Post ]
At first, you see nothing but white all around.
There's nothing but you and a sea of white. You wander around in it for what--minutes? hours? it's easy to lose track of time in the white haze that you cannot identify as any place you've ever known.
It's not the world of the living.
It's not the Soul Society.
You're pretty sure it's not Hueco Mundo (that realm of the hollows is supposed to be a never-ending desert, isn't it?).
Maybe this is what the Dangai looks like?
You continue to wander around, looking for...something. Something to tell you where you are. Something to tell you where you're going. Pretty soon, you're not looking for anything at all, just wandering because standing in one spot isn't really doing anything for you.
Funny how when you stare at the white haze for long enough, it seems to shift and change whenever you move. Also funny how when you stop looking for anything interesting, something crops up to catch your attention.
There's a figure, lying there in the midst of it--the floor? Is it a floor? When you get closer to it, you can tell it's a man.
Closer still, and that straw hat looks awfully familiar...that pink haori...
...you stop. Because that is Kyoraku Shunsui. And then you speed right back up, because that is Kyoraku Shunsui.
"Shunsui!"
Your voice is cheerful when you approach because maybe he had just awoken later than you--he always did have a bit of a lazy streak--and maybe he is here with him in this strange place that has only been identified as Kannagara thus far.
The figure doesn't answer, and that's okay--that's okay he's probably still asleep, he just didn't hear you. So you get closer, and shake his shoulder gently and he's awake now but he is not smiling.
A hand rises to push up the hat a little and he's staring at you and it's not his usual calm, lazily relaxed expression. But only for a moment, because then the hat covers his face again.
"Who are you?" he drawls, and your eyes widen in shock because he doesn't remember you how can he not remember you you've known each other for two thousand years how--
"I-It's me. Jushiro. Ukitake Jushiro. Your friend..."
The hat's back up and you could swear he's giving you a condescending look and that's not normal, that is just not Shunsui, what is going on here?
"Really? I don't have any friends named Ukitake Jushiro."
You feel like you've just been punched in the stomach.
"W-what...? You...but...you don't remember...me?"
"Didn't say that."
...
...he didn't.
he couldn't mean
that they weren't friends anymore.
Could he?
...that wasn't what Byakuya knew that he didn't, was it?
"...Shunsui...?"
The hat's back over his face and he's not even looking at you anymore, now. "You left your lieutenant to fight alone all those years ago, and now you're leaving me behind? Want me to die too? Some friend."
And suddenly, it feels like you can't breathe. It's not the familiar tightening in your chest, not the kind that signals the beginning of a coughing fit. But all the same, it feels like all the air is being squeezed out of your chest and lungs and you're being crushed by a spiritual pressure that's neither his nor yours nor anyone's you can identify.
"You're a real selfish bastard, you know that?"
...
You can't speak anymore, and you can't breathe, crushed and choked under the weight of guilt and regret and something that you can't quite place because Shunsui always understood, Shunsui never held it against you and he was the only one you let see you cry on that night because you had to be strong for Rukia, for the thirteenth division, for the Gotei 13, and why is Shunsui saying these things to you why why why why, why is he so angry with you now? Being pulled away to this "Kannagara" isn't your fault you're sorry.
You can't speak. You can't breathe. And it turns out, you can't even cry because that's being squeezed out of you along with your breath.
"Shun..."
"Not just this, either. It's always all about you. You expect me to smile around you all the time, even when you're sick and coughing up blood because you think if I'm smiling, I'm not worried. And then you want me to cover for you at the meetings you can't go to instead of staying with you because work is more important." A beat. He takes the moment to stand up. "Hmph. Like I said, some friend."
I never asked you to do any of that. I know you worry about me behind that smile...
I know you care about me. Please forgive me.
You're still mute and you can't respond to what your best friend (...f-former friend?) is telling you, so you try to reach out, put your hand on his shoulder and tell him what you feel that way because he's known you for two millenia and you know each other's nonverbal communication like you know your own name.
But you can't...
...reach. Your fingers slip just shy of touching and when you take a step forward, the same happens again. And again.
And again.
He's moving away from you even though he's standing still, faster and faster and faster, and no matter how you try, you just can't reach him.
You suddenly find your voice again and desperately call out to him as he fades into the never-ending white:
"Shunsui!"
...
"Shunsui!"
...
"SHUNSUI!"
[Ukitake awakens with a start, drenched in cold sweat as his eyes snap open. He pants for a few moments before his expression relaxes, and he doesn't make an attempt to go back to sleep yet. For now, he just stares at the ceiling of the small empty house he found, not yet recalling that these Hitomi devices supposedly broadcasted dreams. He hopes Iruka was right about this place being primarily uninhabited. Ukitake doesn't want to have to go and find another place right now; not while he's feeling vulnerable like this.]