[Dream: Week 30, day 2] Those things you wish you could suppress
(Warning: This is kinda gross and overall awful, even if vague...ish? so. Read at your own risk.)
There’s buzzing.
You can make out the voices from around you, but no actual words, especially since you’re more focused on breathing. Your throat is thick, just like your mind, everything in your body actually. Thick, and heavy, and aching, and the most important thing is... well, it would be good to get up, to move, to do something.
Except it’s completely impossible, because you can’t move. You must move, you can’t just sit here in this kind of situation. Move, move, MOVE, damn it--!
But all you can do is open your eye just barely, make out the shapes against the dark sky, shapes towering above you and that’s probably where the voices are coming from. And they’re even more of a sign that you need to move, and your hand closes tightly around the handle of your hammer, your Innocence, tries to lift it, activate it again.
At least, it feels like it’s closed around it tightly, but in reality you know it’s probably really not.
And while you struggle and try to keep your focus on those silhouettes, one of them (the bigger one) moves closer and soon covers your view completely, fingers slipping under your chin and tilting your head up. So you can see something again, but you really wish that wasn’t the case because someone moving you like they wish is-- Crap.
You can hear your heart picking up the pace of its beat in your ears, and your breathing grows heavier, halting, for a brief moment.
The moment before your breath is cut off completely as something forces its way past your lips and shoves straight down your throat, something wet and thick and suddenly your eye can go wide, and your body can suddenly move as you jerk and choke and you can feel that thing twisting in your throat, all too aware of everything that moves rather than not like before, and the weight holding you down and chuckling somewhere and damn it, what is it--?!
It’s disgusting, and you’d throw up if that was even possible right now; your body is trying to, very much so but it’s just. Not. Working. Disgusting disgusting disgusting, stop stop STOP.
Isn’t it going to end? It must end, god, it must end, it feels like it never will, like you just keep struggling uselessly and trying to get air but the path for it is completely blocked, of course, of course, and those are probably tears trickling in your eyes, completely unbidden (damn them), and you’re not sure if that wetness on your cheeks is from that thing or if it’s your own drool but-- Actually, you’d rather not think about it at all!
But finally, finally a breath you pull in gets through, but once again you’re unable to move, can only go limp where you’re sitting and gasp for breath as you feel what little awareness you have left fade away.
[There’s a flash of red before the Hitomi is knocked to the floor, and then it records Lavi’s back as he stumbles for the doorway, and out of his room. He needs to throw up, god...]
((OOC: And that was a tongue (uhm this idk either okay parasites apparently), so don’t get weirder ideas than that. IT’S NOT MY FAULT, IT’S THE CANON, OKAY. Except the method is all my headcanon but IDK HOW ELSE IT’S SUPPOSED TO WORK that isn’t completely impure! *Shuts up now *))
There’s buzzing.
You can make out the voices from around you, but no actual words, especially since you’re more focused on breathing. Your throat is thick, just like your mind, everything in your body actually. Thick, and heavy, and aching, and the most important thing is... well, it would be good to get up, to move, to do something.
Except it’s completely impossible, because you can’t move. You must move, you can’t just sit here in this kind of situation. Move, move, MOVE, damn it--!
But all you can do is open your eye just barely, make out the shapes against the dark sky, shapes towering above you and that’s probably where the voices are coming from. And they’re even more of a sign that you need to move, and your hand closes tightly around the handle of your hammer, your Innocence, tries to lift it, activate it again.
At least, it feels like it’s closed around it tightly, but in reality you know it’s probably really not.
And while you struggle and try to keep your focus on those silhouettes, one of them (the bigger one) moves closer and soon covers your view completely, fingers slipping under your chin and tilting your head up. So you can see something again, but you really wish that wasn’t the case because someone moving you like they wish is-- Crap.
You can hear your heart picking up the pace of its beat in your ears, and your breathing grows heavier, halting, for a brief moment.
The moment before your breath is cut off completely as something forces its way past your lips and shoves straight down your throat, something wet and thick and suddenly your eye can go wide, and your body can suddenly move as you jerk and choke and you can feel that thing twisting in your throat, all too aware of everything that moves rather than not like before, and the weight holding you down and chuckling somewhere and damn it, what is it--?!
It’s disgusting, and you’d throw up if that was even possible right now; your body is trying to, very much so but it’s just. Not. Working. Disgusting disgusting disgusting, stop stop STOP.
Isn’t it going to end? It must end, god, it must end, it feels like it never will, like you just keep struggling uselessly and trying to get air but the path for it is completely blocked, of course, of course, and those are probably tears trickling in your eyes, completely unbidden (damn them), and you’re not sure if that wetness on your cheeks is from that thing or if it’s your own drool but-- Actually, you’d rather not think about it at all!
But finally, finally a breath you pull in gets through, but once again you’re unable to move, can only go limp where you’re sitting and gasp for breath as you feel what little awareness you have left fade away.
[There’s a flash of red before the Hitomi is knocked to the floor, and then it records Lavi’s back as he stumbles for the doorway, and out of his room. He needs to throw up, god...]
((OOC: And that was a tongue (uhm this idk either okay parasites apparently), so don’t get weirder ideas than that. IT’S NOT MY FAULT, IT’S THE CANON, OKAY. Except the method is all my headcanon but IDK HOW ELSE IT’S SUPPOSED TO WORK that isn’t completely impure! *Shuts up now *))
