[For all that the words are spoken softly, there is a definite note of finality in his tone and perhaps more frightning was the calm way with which the man regards the boy.
And for a moment, he strongly considers leaving it at that. But if these gods are going to insist on playing these wretched games - or worse, if they hold him on this bridge until he gives this bit of truth...
He likes that idea even less.
And maybe, if they're made to realize the depth of their folly in bringing him here and thwarting his movements towards his ultimate wish - maybe they'll let him leave.
So when he finally speaks, he's not offering a topic for debate - he's merely reciting fact.]
For Yuui, who was born the second twin, there is no repreve. Nor would he want one.
[A beat as he leans back against the rail, hands laced behind his neck and ankles crossed.]
You see... had Yuui never been born, then Fai would not only be alive today, but he would quite probably be the Elder Emperor. He would have lived a life as befitting the Crown Prince he was born to be instead of dying for Yuui's sin.
But because Yuui was born, those twins ushered in the death of not one, but two nations. They're ill-luck children, meant to suffer in seperation so that other worlds and other beings don't share the same fate as Valeria.
So no... Yuui's sins are too great to ever allow him something so... kind.
Re: [Dreamwalking]tenpa_tantrumMay 4 2011, 16:11:33 UTC
Have you NEVER held a baby in your arms???
[That's Gau's first thought, and it comes out of his mouth before he can truly think about it. Because he remembers the first time that he did so, the child of one of his mother's friends, and how helpless and vulnerable the thing had been. He'd been so afraid of breaking it.]
You keep saying "had Yuui never been born" and things like that, but how can anyone be blamed for being born? It's not like anyone chooses to be born! It's not like it's anything someone can control! How can you even think about a BABY as something anything can be blamed on, even if it's yourself???
[Gau can't deal with this, he can't. He can't understand it at all. It just... it makes zero logical sense to blame someone for being born!
He's crying now, full heavy tears streaming down his face, and he's lost all semblance of the calm that is supposed to surround him. There's no room for it among his scrambled and scattered emotions; and there's so very much anger there. Not at this person, but at whoever made him feel that way. Because it's just... how can anything get anymore wrong than this???]
You can't... you can't have possibly had sins like that... not... not before you were even capable of doing... anything at all...
[Gau knows what sin is. Quite intimately. He knows the blood gushing over his hands as he drove a knife into someone is a sin, he knows cheating on his lover was a sin, he knows feeling superior and being cruel to others and... all those are his sins. But he is not a child, not anymore.]
[Oddly enough, it's Fai that is watching this boy cry tears meant for him with something like a distant compassion. He's cried his tears over this fate of his and he'll continue to do as as time crawls steadily past him, but this boy...
Heaving a weighty sigh, Fai shifts enough to step closer, places a hand comfortingly on Gau's shoulder.]
It's alright, child. Your world is such that, I'd guess, you don't have such fates. But don't think that just because something is unfamiliar or unfathomable to you based on your perceptions, that it's not possible for other worlds in other times.
Because as I said... it was never my actions that garnered such sin. Just by being born, just by being twins born in a world where they're seen as harbingers of catastrophe, just for the sake of existing... that world [he points back towards the dream] Valeria, is a dead world. There is no one living now, millions of lives cut short just because we were born. This is fact, whether you like or accept it or not.
[Fai’s voice is soft, low, yet threaded with an unyielding command. He lets his hand slid away from the other, the desire to offer something - reassurance or comfort one - slides away with the contact as he stands there to look down at the boy with an absolutely frigid regard.
Because whatever game these gods were playing at didn’t matter anymore, not one bit. Because he didn’t need some child, some ignorant and idealistic child, coming in to pick apart his most painful memory only to tell him that the burden he’s shouldered all this time wasn’t real.
He wouldn’t tolerate such selfish demands for the truth to be changed, just because the boy didn’t like or agree with it.]
If you expect to learn from other people’s pasts, than you have to approach them with an open mind, child. Your place isn’t to determine the validity of my past. Your opinion doesn’t change the deaths that follow in our wake. Your indignation doesn’t give life to my twin once more.
[A beat as he lifts a hand, starts to summon a small seal above his fingertips as he watches the boy with a calmly cool, emotionless, mask.]
I didn’t ask for your judgment and you clearly cannot accept my truth, but this, at least, is something I can correct. Come here, Gau-kun. It’s okay to forget what you’ve seen, better if you do.
Re: [Dreamwalking]tenpa_tantrumMay 9 2011, 18:12:32 UTC
[He can't argue, ultimately. It's the other man's dream, the other man's right not to want him here, judging. And he realizes that is exactly what he has been doing, but how can one not judge a world that would be so cruel to innocent children?
Innocent. He will never believe that they could have been anything else. No matter what anyone did in their name, they themselves were still just children.
Or had been, back then.
He swallows hard, draws a hand across his eyes, and then turns reddened green eyes up to the other man's face.]
I'm sorry, Fai-san. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to...
[He manages a bow, slow and clumsy, and then tries to take a step toward the other man, to allow him to do as he says and make it so that Gau can't remember.
Only to find that the solid stone bridge dematerializes between them, and he can't take that step forward. In fact, the half of the bridge that Gau is standing on is drawn back, tugged toward the Celestial Plains. The teen can do nothing but stare in confusion.]
[Fai watches for a moment, face impassive as the boy is pulled steadily further from his reach. He lets out a sigh and cancels the spell forming at his fingertips, stands there until the boy is well beyond his reach.
And then he turns, resigned, and steps back into his own dream, where he belongs in his memory - reverting with each step, body becoming smaller, emancipated, bright golden locks growing into a muted, matted profusion that drags along the snow as he seems to join his body once again, the tears starting fresh once more as he sits there, cradling Fai's body ever so gently against his own once again as he's immersed once more into that wretched moment where his life lost all true meaning.
The tears of a naive child were no where near enough to alleviate the guilt he felt in that moment. They never would be.]
[For all that the words are spoken softly, there is a definite note of finality in his tone and perhaps more frightning was the calm way with which the man regards the boy.
And for a moment, he strongly considers leaving it at that. But if these gods are going to insist on playing these wretched games - or worse, if they hold him on this bridge until he gives this bit of truth...
He likes that idea even less.
And maybe, if they're made to realize the depth of their folly in bringing him here and thwarting his movements towards his ultimate wish - maybe they'll let him leave.
So when he finally speaks, he's not offering a topic for debate - he's merely reciting fact.]
For Yuui, who was born the second twin, there is no repreve. Nor would he want one.
[A beat as he leans back against the rail, hands laced behind his neck and ankles crossed.]
You see... had Yuui never been born, then Fai would not only be alive today, but he would quite probably be the Elder Emperor. He would have lived a life as befitting the Crown Prince he was born to be instead of dying for Yuui's sin.
But because Yuui was born, those twins ushered in the death of not one, but two nations. They're ill-luck children, meant to suffer in seperation so that other worlds and other beings don't share the same fate as Valeria.
So no... Yuui's sins are too great to ever allow him something so... kind.
Reply
[That's Gau's first thought, and it comes out of his mouth before he can truly think about it. Because he remembers the first time that he did so, the child of one of his mother's friends, and how helpless and vulnerable the thing had been. He'd been so afraid of breaking it.]
You keep saying "had Yuui never been born" and things like that, but how can anyone be blamed for being born? It's not like anyone chooses to be born! It's not like it's anything someone can control! How can you even think about a BABY as something anything can be blamed on, even if it's yourself???
[Gau can't deal with this, he can't. He can't understand it at all. It just... it makes zero logical sense to blame someone for being born!
He's crying now, full heavy tears streaming down his face, and he's lost all semblance of the calm that is supposed to surround him. There's no room for it among his scrambled and scattered emotions; and there's so very much anger there. Not at this person, but at whoever made him feel that way. Because it's just... how can anything get anymore wrong than this???]
You can't... you can't have possibly had sins like that... not... not before you were even capable of doing... anything at all...
[Gau knows what sin is. Quite intimately. He knows the blood gushing over his hands as he drove a knife into someone is a sin, he knows cheating on his lover was a sin, he knows feeling superior and being cruel to others and... all those are his sins. But he is not a child, not anymore.]
Reply
Heaving a weighty sigh, Fai shifts enough to step closer, places a hand comfortingly on Gau's shoulder.]
It's alright, child. Your world is such that, I'd guess, you don't have such fates. But don't think that just because something is unfamiliar or unfathomable to you based on your perceptions, that it's not possible for other worlds in other times.
Because as I said... it was never my actions that garnered such sin. Just by being born, just by being twins born in a world where they're seen as harbingers of catastrophe, just for the sake of existing... that world [he points back towards the dream] Valeria, is a dead world. There is no one living now, millions of lives cut short just because we were born. This is fact, whether you like or accept it or not.
Reply
[He won't believe it, refuses to believe it.]
IT'S WHOEVER MADE UP THAT IDIOT THING IN THE FIRST PLACE, THEY'RE THE ONES WHO DOOMED YOU!
[So much anger. The calm is completely shattered, and the tears just won't stop flowing, no matter how much Gau tries.
It can't be the fault of a child, it can't be! He won't accept it, no matter what this man says.]
Reply
[Fai’s voice is soft, low, yet threaded with an unyielding command. He lets his hand slid away from the other, the desire to offer something - reassurance or comfort one - slides away with the contact as he stands there to look down at the boy with an absolutely frigid regard.
Because whatever game these gods were playing at didn’t matter anymore, not one bit. Because he didn’t need some child, some ignorant and idealistic child, coming in to pick apart his most painful memory only to tell him that the burden he’s shouldered all this time wasn’t real.
He wouldn’t tolerate such selfish demands for the truth to be changed, just because the boy didn’t like or agree with it.]
If you expect to learn from other people’s pasts, than you have to approach them with an open mind, child. Your place isn’t to determine the validity of my past. Your opinion doesn’t change the deaths that follow in our wake. Your indignation doesn’t give life to my twin once more.
[A beat as he lifts a hand, starts to summon a small seal above his fingertips as he watches the boy with a calmly cool, emotionless, mask.]
I didn’t ask for your judgment and you clearly cannot accept my truth, but this, at least, is something I can correct. Come here, Gau-kun. It’s okay to forget what you’ve seen, better if you do.
Reply
Innocent. He will never believe that they could have been anything else. No matter what anyone did in their name, they themselves were still just children.
Or had been, back then.
He swallows hard, draws a hand across his eyes, and then turns reddened green eyes up to the other man's face.]
I'm sorry, Fai-san. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to...
[He manages a bow, slow and clumsy, and then tries to take a step toward the other man, to allow him to do as he says and make it so that Gau can't remember.
Only to find that the solid stone bridge dematerializes between them, and he can't take that step forward. In fact, the half of the bridge that Gau is standing on is drawn back, tugged toward the Celestial Plains. The teen can do nothing but stare in confusion.]
Reply
And then he turns, resigned, and steps back into his own dream, where he belongs in his memory - reverting with each step, body becoming smaller, emancipated, bright golden locks growing into a muted, matted profusion that drags along the snow as he seems to join his body once again, the tears starting fresh once more as he sits there, cradling Fai's body ever so gently against his own once again as he's immersed once more into that wretched moment where his life lost all true meaning.
The tears of a naive child were no where near enough to alleviate the guilt he felt in that moment. They never would be.]
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