[That question. Always a favorite. It's something Rin has spent many a lone hour ruminating on, for, being a teenager in a world that is not very accomodating, she thinks it an advantage to be strong.
That, and she just plain wants to think of herself as so. She's not sure she can do so full, yet, but -- well, it's gotten better.
She thinks for a moment, pushing her tongue against her upper teeth, until she speaks, tone slow and thoughtful.]
There... there is physical strength, of course. That is obvious, right? If you can fight and win... that would make you strong.
But I don't think that's the only definition. I... I think it's strong when you can keep going after going through something terrible. No matter how you go about dealing with it.
It's strong if you know yourself and what you need, and if you can stand up for what you need. I'd... like to think that counts.
Uhm.
[A hesitation, an awkward laugh, then she sends the message.]
I think... yes, physical strength isn't the only definition. Because even emotion can dictate how strong you can be physically. A person with no physical training in their entire life is capable of lifting or breaking a solid object if someone they care for is in danger. So no... but...
[A short pause.]
You say that, but sometimes people don't even know what they need. Is not knowing a weakness? Does it hamper strength...you think?
Yes, I suppose so. It's good to stand up for what you need, though more often that, I've come across many those back home who put aside what they need for a purpose or reason that they deem is greater than themselves.
In this case, in forgetting one's self, for another's behalf -- to whatever cost, whatever limit, all things negative and positive -- does that count as strength too, you think?
... if anything, that is a nobler kind of strength.
[Smile in her voice, just a little -- but also a bit of self-deprecation. For she's been thinking about this in purely personal terms, and that is just undeniably more selfish than this greater-good kind of vision.]
Still noble even if it costs another one's happiness, comfort, or what have you?
[Because he has seen men like these, come and go. And Iruka thinks it's a lonely existence. When he's not even aware that he's probably one of those men as well.]
[She reviews what he's said -- a purpose they deem greater they themselves, to whatever cost, both positive and negative...
Reminds her of something, oh yes, it does.]
Those "greater purposes" -- are they really so great? I think that is a question that one must continue to ask oneself if one is in the business of toying with lives.
The intent is noble, but maybe the other person has no need for the greater purpose.
[voice - private]smiling_uminoMarch 17 2011, 12:16:15 UTC
The intention is always noble. Yes. The greater picture is always great...
[And here Iruka honestly pauses.]
Need is one thing. Want is another. There is almost a thin line between the two. What then, if it isn't a question of need but rather a question of want?
[voice - private]revengeisalieMarch 17 2011, 15:35:06 UTC
[Well, that is helpful.]
If it's something you want, but don't need, I guess you've got to be clear about what the consequences of getting what you want are, and whether you want to shoulder those.
That person shouldn't go around expecting anyone they may have wronged to forgive them.
[voice - private]smiling_uminoMarch 17 2011, 15:54:07 UTC
To want something that it becomes a need, earns a person no right to be forgiven. Then a person has no right to want if they wish to not make mistakes that will require forgiveness. But they can spend the rest of their lives probably trying to earn it anyway... that's a miserable and sad existence, don't you think?
[But those words hit harder than anyone can ever think, in all honesty. Iruka can feel the burn behind his throat.]
[voice - private]smiling_uminoMarch 17 2011, 16:49:49 UTC
Actually, Rin-san... I don't think there is any shame in wanting something when you've been doing nothing but serving the nobly for a long while. Is that not a deserving?
[A pause and in the comforts of his privacy, Iruka presses a hand against his eyelid, putting pressure there.]
That, and she just plain wants to think of herself as so. She's not sure she can do so full, yet, but -- well, it's gotten better.
She thinks for a moment, pushing her tongue against her upper teeth, until she speaks, tone slow and thoughtful.]
There... there is physical strength, of course. That is obvious, right? If you can fight and win... that would make you strong.
But I don't think that's the only definition. I... I think it's strong when you can keep going after going through something terrible. No matter how you go about dealing with it.
It's strong if you know yourself and what you need, and if you can stand up for what you need. I'd... like to think that counts.
Uhm.
[A hesitation, an awkward laugh, then she sends the message.]
Reply
[A short pause.]
You say that, but sometimes people don't even know what they need. Is not knowing a weakness? Does it hamper strength...you think?
Reply
[Pause as she thinks on this.]
Well, it might hamper things. Because not knowing what you need might cause you to make the wrong choices, and you might regret something.
But I guess being able to live with that is also a kind of strength. If a twisted one.
Reply
Yes, I suppose so. It's good to stand up for what you need, though more often that, I've come across many those back home who put aside what they need for a purpose or reason that they deem is greater than themselves.
In this case, in forgetting one's self, for another's behalf -- to whatever cost, whatever limit, all things negative and positive -- does that count as strength too, you think?
Reply
[Smile in her voice, just a little -- but also a bit of self-deprecation. For she's been thinking about this in purely personal terms, and that is just undeniably more selfish than this greater-good kind of vision.]
Reply
[Because he has seen men like these, come and go. And Iruka thinks it's a lonely existence. When he's not even aware that he's probably one of those men as well.]
Reply
[She reviews what he's said -- a purpose they deem greater they themselves, to whatever cost, both positive and negative...
Reminds her of something, oh yes, it does.]
Those "greater purposes" -- are they really so great? I think that is a question that one must continue to ask oneself if one is in the business of toying with lives.
The intent is noble, but maybe the other person has no need for the greater purpose.
Reply
[And here Iruka honestly pauses.]
Need is one thing. Want is another. There is almost a thin line between the two. What then, if it isn't a question of need but rather a question of want?
Reply
Reply
Reply
If it's something you want, but don't need, I guess you've got to be clear about what the consequences of getting what you want are, and whether you want to shoulder those.
That person shouldn't go around expecting anyone they may have wronged to forgive them.
Reply
[But those words hit harder than anyone can ever think, in all honesty. Iruka can feel the burn behind his throat.]
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And, honestly, if someone's want led to another person's misery? They deserve to have to live with it for a damn long time.
[Greetings to Anotsu Kagehisa!]
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You're quite the devil yourself, Rin-san.
[But the laugh recedes and what comes out is a quieter tone, searching if anything.]
You really believe that?
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"Devil", eh?
[A pause as she reflects on that. Then she nods to herself in the privacy of her own personal space, without so much as realizing it.]
I do.
And... [a short laugh that can barely be called a laugh] I guess I'll have to hold myself to that, too.
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[A pause and in the comforts of his privacy, Iruka presses a hand against his eyelid, putting pressure there.]
A right, even, to a person...
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